Be Like an Ultramarathoner to Overcome Challenges

Ultramarathoners are a special breed of runners who train for and participate in races longer than the traditional marathon of 26.2 miles. Races often start at 30+ miles and can be as lengthy as 100 miles. The ability to complete these races depends on several characteristics that lie inside all of us: grit, endurance, and the ability to forge ahead with a focused mindset that does not fixate on others in the race, but instead on their own path forward.

Even if you’re not an ultramarathoner, you can utilize the above characteristics to help you overcome those seemingly insurmountable challenges that sometimes create roadblocks that prompt you to wonder if you’ll ever find a way over or around obstacles.

A competitive runner knows the keys to achieving goals in a race. Thankfully these secrets to success can easily be transferred to nearly any situation that life throws your way:

Confidence. Greater confidence comes from identifying and then conquering fears. Confidence also grows when you put a plan in place to address the issue, one step at a time, rather than procrastinating which only causes more worry about failing. By simply jogging in place, you will never reach the finish line. Inch along a little bit every day and reevaluate as necessary. Confidence comes with doing.

Mental strength. Mental strength is having the will to continue, even when you think you can’t. Feeling apprehensive or scared is all part of stepping outside your comfort zone. Identifying your strengths and talents and then finding a way to use them to overcome your challenges is paramount to achieving mental toughness.

Positive self-talk. It’s important to remember the value of positive self-talk. Removing the words “I don’t think I can” from our inner-dialogue the first step to achieving goals. Replace “I can’t” with “I will.” I will finish this race. I will come out on the other side of this experience a better, stronger person.

Visualization. Competitive runners often visualize the finish line when they “hit the wall” (an analogy for when they think they cannot continue). An important component of being able to overcome challenges is the ability to picture better days and a positive outcome in your mind. Take time every day to visualize the best possible results that you can attain from all your efforts.

A support crew. We all need a great support crew, ready to cheer us on from the sidelines. Surround yourself with a group of positive, strong supporters who believe in you, who provide honest feedback when asked, and can hold you accountable to fulfill what you have envisioned for yourself and your life.

Focusing on your own journey. It can be challenging to not compare yourself to others, either while competing in a race or moving through life. But comparing yourself to others and what they are achieving only hinders your own progress. Focus on yourself and your path. You are like no one else in life and neither is your journey. Remember this: the only person better than you is embedded in you.

No matter where you are in life, you have the power within you to utilize the above characteristics to first address and then overcome any challenge that comes your way. Think like a competitive runner. Create a positive inner dialogue, build confidence by doing, and focus on your own journey. When you cross the finish line, celebrate with your support group. You deserve it.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

When the Worst Case Scenario Turns Out to be the Best Case Scenario

Gohei Nishikawa first took up the piano when he was a teenager living in Osaka, Japan. After nurturing dreams of playing professionally, he eventually gave up his aspirations when he couldn’t seem to break into the competitive field. But one day while filling in for another pianist during a recital, Nishikawa was discovered as a promising new talent. Shortly after moving to New York to study under American pianist, David Bradshaw, Nishikawa performed his first solo concert without any idea of the challenges that would lie ahead for him in the next year.

A few months later, Nishikawa noticed his hands becoming unusually stiff and ultimately received devastating news. He had focal dystonia, a chronic condition that causes muscles to involuntarily tighten. With limited use of his hands, it seemed his dream of playing professionally had died once again. Nishikawa, desperate and depressed for relief, attempted suicide.

After eventually coming to accept his situation, Nishikawa found work in a preschool and attempted to move on with his life. But when he was asked by the principal to play a song for the children in the classroom, everything suddenly changed for Nishikawa when he sat down at the piano after a long absence and realized the children only loved the music, not how his hands looked or the way his fingers operated. It was then that he began creating his own way to play, despite his physical challenges. Eight years after his diagnosis, Nishikawa officially made his professional debut. In eight more years, he played in the main hall at Carnegie Hall.

Today, Nishikawa performs around the world, demonstrating to his audience that many things are possible with perseverance and ingenuity. He is grateful for his physical challenge because it has helped him appreciate the smallest gifts in life. The words he lives by every day are, “The worst case scenario can turn out to be the best case scenario.”

In this mindfulness practice, think about a time in your life when the worst case scenario may have led you to a best case scenario you could never have imagined in your wildest dreams. Perhaps you endured an agonizing breakup, only to find the love of your life a few months later. Maybe you lost your job, only to find a much better role at a growing company. Perhaps you received a disheartening health diagnosis, only to find a devoted new friend in a support group.

Now as you continue to reflect, ask yourself, “What did I learn during this time? How have I changed for the better because of that experience? What am I more grateful for now than I was before?” It is important to recognize these valuable lessons as gifts, just as Nishikawa did.

Gohei Nishikawa nearly gave up during his darkest days. He openly shares his story today with the hope that he is an inspiration to others enduring their own darkness. While letting his stiff fingers seemingly dance across the keys in front of global audiences, he transformed into a perfect example of what can happen when we believe in ourselves and our ability to persevere and implement creative solutions, even while enduring a worst case scenario. 

To listen to Gohei Nishikawa’s performance at the United Nation’s 70th anniversary concert in 2019, click here: https://youtu.be/Erxpc6Doins

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice – Releasing Negativity

During the past year, we’ve all been focused on avoiding an extremely contagious virus. As we have learned, sometimes despite our best efforts, the virus finds its way in.

Negativity is equally as contagious. As much as we try to avoid it, on occasion we encounter people around us whose outlook on life and its challenges may be darker or more pessimistic that ours. After a conversation or encounter, we may notice that our own mood or outlook for the day has been adversely affected. Maybe we even find ourselves commiserating with that person, ultimately transforming our own moods from hopeful to negative.

While we may try to brush off negativity as an unavoidable part of our days, recent studies have proven that repetitive negative thinking may not only contribute to cognitive decline, but also serve as a risk factor for developing dementia later in life.

Caring for our mental health is an extremely important part of maintaining overall wellness. When we protect ourselves from others who think negatively and replace our own negative thoughts as often as possible with positive self-talk, we receive many health benefits that include reduced rates of depression, improved cardiovascular health, better coping skills during adversity, and a longer life span.

Take a minute to soak this in:

No one but you has control over your attitude and day.

Perhaps you feel a release when you read that sentence. Maybe you feel empowered. Whatever you feel, it is important to remember that you, only you, hold the steering wheel as to which direction you head every day in your life.

Today, let’s focus on a mindfulness practice that allows you to protect yourself from negativity when encountering others who may not share your optimistic views. Close your eyes and imagine what happens to your body and mind when you encounter negativity. Perhaps you tense your shoulders or your stomach ties itself in a giant knot.

Take a few deep breaths. Relax all those parts of your body, one at a time. Now imagine yourself inside a warm bubble, protected and safe from the outside world. Finally, repeat this phrase to yourself until you feel calm, focused, and optimistic again:

 You are you, and I am me.

I release this negative energy so that I may be free.

This is a short yet powerful practice that gently reminds us that we are always in control of our attitudes and outlooks, no matter who is around us, what they say, or how they act.

Be you. Be mindful. Be positive.

"Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power."

-- Shirley MacLaine

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice: Looking Back on an Unforgettable Year

The year 2020 has garnered many descriptive phrases that include “unprecedented,” “apocalyptic,” and “tumultuous.” Although there has been much focus on what we disagree about in the world, one thing is certain: those of us who have survived the last twelve months will share a collective sigh of relief when we can once again move forward into the future with confidence, calmness, and clarity.

Through all of the struggles, chaos, and uncertainty surrounding this year, there is no question that we have all learned something in 2020. While we remained quarantined in our homes, perhaps some of us experienced true loneliness for the first time in our lives and have had to teach ourselves how to be okay with silence. Others may have seized the opportunity to clean, organize, and get things done that had remained on the back burner of their lives for longer than they would like to admit. Some may have decided to take control over their future and learn a new skill or start a side business. Others may have taken the opportunity to re-evaluate their career and where they want to go from here. A few more may have decided to help others by delivering food or groceries to those in need, contributing money to charities, or making regular phone calls to elderly relatives or friends.

No matter where you are in the process of learning more about yourself and how you are coping with one of the greatest challenges to affect the world to date, it is never too late to reflect on all you will take away from this moment in time and carry into the future to either help yourself or others around you. Right now, take a breather and ask yourself this question:

What is the greatest lesson I have learned in 2020?

 Once you have formulated an answer either in your mind or on paper, ask yourself this question:

 What will I take forward from this experience to effect positive change?

 As we enthusiastically welcome a new year, it is important for all of us to keep our eyes on the path in front of us that is full of opportunities, fresh lessons, and unique experiences. As Roy T. Bennett once said, “The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence; the past is a place of learning, not a place of living.”

For a few minutes, be here, right now, in this place of learning. And then let it go so you can grow, develop, and then carry your valuable lessons forward to help yourself and others in 2021.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice – Slowing Down to Enjoy Life’s Simple Gifts

One of life’s simple gifts captured by Vicky DeCoster while on a recent hike in the woods

In a world where chaos and busyness is often embraced and even celebrated, it can be difficult to jump off the hamster wheel of life and take a breath. Yet as difficult as it can be to execute at times, the practice of slowing down to enjoy the simple gifts that life brings on a daily basis is critical to maintaining our mental health, especially during challenging periods.

When was the last time you set an intention to really notice the world around you?

Welcome this opportunity to close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Imagine yourself walking on a path in a forest. As you listen to the leaves crunching under your feet and the wind gently rustling the leaves of the trees, you decide not to just look at the path in front of you like you always do. Instead, you choose to begin observing the world through the wonderment of someone who has never seen it before.

What do you see when you open yourself to observe the simple gifts of life?

Perhaps it is the way the sunlight streams through the trees, or the laughter of someone behind you on the trail, or the way the air smells of evergreens. Perhaps it is the way you and your hiking companion can walk in companionable silence, or the sound of a rushing creek next to the path, or the feeling of being a small speck in a giant universe full of possibilities.

Now open your eyes and really look around you. What do you see now? There are simple gifts everywhere, just waiting for you to notice them. Choose one right now and then express gratitude for it.

These gifts are not just for you; they are for everyone. Pay it forward by pointing out a simple gift today to someone else. In doing so, you can help them take a breath and really see life. The domino effect from this practice has the potential to have amazing, lasting effects that have the power to change lives for the better.

Life can be good and life can be heartbreaking. Yet through all the ups and downs, it is possible to stop, take a breath, and notice every simple gift life gives you.

“If you will stay close to nature, to its simplicity, to the small things hardly noticeable, those things can unexpectedly become great and immeasurable.” ―Rainer Maria Rilke

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice - Writing Headlines to Bring You Closer to What You Want from Life

Every day, headlines in the news capture our attention, either prompting us to read more or move on. Great headlines are clear, concise, and have a direct impact on the reader.

What if you could write a headline about your own life on a daily basis?

The good news is that you can.

Every morning before getting out of bed, grab a notebook or journal and envision a headline you would like to describe the day ahead. Begin the process by asking yourself these five questions that will help you focus, find clarity, and identify a vision:

What emotion do I want to focus on today? (i.e., gratitude, joy, fulfillment, perseverance)

What do I want to specifically achieve today? (i.e., a clear goal)

Who do I want to be today? (i.e., peaceful, grateful, loving)

What promise do I want to fulfill to myself today? (i.e., to be calm, passionate, or to talk nicely to myself)

What light can I shine on the world today? (i.e., kindness, the gift of listening without judgment, hope)

Close your eyes. Focus on your breath. Bring your thoughts inward. Take a few moments to contemplate what is really important to you today. It doesn’t have to be complex. Simple is better. Now open your eyes, grab a notebook, and describe what you want in a few words. For example, your headline might be:

Athlete Decides Progress, not Perfection, is a Better Way to Live

Job Seeker Dedicates One Hour to Networking

Executive Makes Good on Three Client Promises

New Retiree Says Goodbye to Bad Habits and Hello to Positive Changes

Entrepreneur Finds New Ways to Achieve Balance and Fulfillment

Passionate Helper Performs Two Random Acts of Kindness

Avid Reader of News Shuns News to Achieve Inner Peace

As the above examples demonstrate, there are many ways to write a headline that describes what you want for your day and how you want to present yourself to the world. The important takeaway is to remember that each headline you write brings you closer to what you want for yourself and your life.

Headlines can set the framework for solving a problem, help you see a better future, and ultimately guide you to remembering that it is you who holds the power to creating your own destiny, one day at a time, one headline at a time.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

How to Take Back the Reins of Your Life

You may have heard of the popular Zen tale about a horse and its rider. As the horse wildly gallops down a road with its rider tightly gripping the reins, both man and animal eventually meet a stranger standing beside the road who curiously shouts, “Where are you going?” The rider replies, “I don’t know. Ask the horse!”

Although this story is short, it contains a powerful and symbolic message about empowerment. Each of us, no matter what our struggles or challenges, has control over the direction of our lives. But how do we find that direction when all we feel is lost? First, ask yourself this question:

Who is holding the reins of my life?

If you believe you are the only one holding the reins of your life, terrific! You have realized the power you have within to take control of where you are going and how you want to get there by creating a concrete action plan, setting clear goals, and assigning someone to hold you accountable to getting from here to there.

If you believe that someone else (or several others) are holding the reins instead of you, now is not the time to worry or continue treading water. The first step in attaining life transformation is to recognize the need for positive change. Now, ask yourself this question:

What is one thing I can begin doing today to point myself in the right direction?

Perhaps you would like to become a healthier version of yourself. Beginning with that idea, think about how you can transform one less-than-ideal daily decision into a positive action that guides you toward a bigger goal. Pledge to go to bed one hour earlier every night so you can awaken sooner and exercise. Log everything you eat into a food journal. Prep meals to save time and avoid mindless snacking.

If you are unhappy at your job, think about how you can replace a robotic daily decision with a better one that leads you down a new path. Rather than complaining about events that are out of your control, update your resume. Set aside time once a week to apply for new opportunities. Talk to a recruiter. Network with your connections.

Every time you complete an action that moves you in the direction of a more content future, reward yourself with positive self-talk. Now, ask yourself this one final question:

How do I feel about myself and my direction when I take steps toward positive change?

When incorporating positive change in your life, you create a path forward that leads to contentment. Socrates once said, “The secret of change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but in creating the new.” This is your life. Remember, you don’t have to be a helpless rider on a galloping horse. You have the strength. You have the courage. You have the power deep within to confidently take back the reins, make the changes you need to be content, and inspire others by walking the talk.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice - Observing Your Life from a Different Perspective

Imagine that your superpower is the ability to fly. When you are ready, close your eyes and visualize yourself perched on the edge of a cliff. As the sun warms your face, spread your wings and slowly lift yourself into the air. Guided by your curiosity to know more, embrace the freedom that comes with soaring high above the earth with only the wind as your companion. Your goal of this special flight is to objectively observe your life from a different perspective.

As you soar over the road map of your life, what do you see?

All of our lives are filled with joyful times such as finding our true loves, witnessing our children enter the world, and fulfilling our dreams. These moments are the spa-like rest stops on our journey through life. Between all these wonderful stops is the winding, sometimes bumpy road that takes us from Point A to Point B, often without a rest stop for miles and miles or the ability to turn around and choose different endings. Yet it is during these challenging times that we are provided with the best opportunities to learn the most about ourselves, life, and those around us.

Where are you right now on your journey? Perhaps you are exactly where you want to be. Perhaps you have just realized it is time to detour off the main road and carve your own path through the wilderness to reach contentment. Wherever you see yourself on your journey, observe without judgment.

Now open your eyes. You have more control than you think over where your road map leads you from today forward.

Recognize. Believe. Act.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

How to Step into Someone Else’s Shoes

Our world is facing new challenges. As it has been since the beginning of time, we all have our own unique and passionate opinions, viewpoints, and objectives on how to best move humanity forward into the future. Unfortunately because of these differences in how we see the world and our obstacles, many of us find ourselves unable to see or understand the perspectives of others around us. It’s a tough place to be because in order to move forward, we must be able to objectively and collaboratively work together to find a way. Perhaps the first step is to imagine ourselves as another. But this is a skill that requires discipline and practice to execute. So how do we do that?

“Never judge someone until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.”

Native American proverb

In following this idea, I recently stumbled on information about a wonderful non-profit organization while thumbing through a magazine. Since TED speaker, advocate for the broken-hearted, and blogger Hannah Brencher founded moreloveletters.com in 2011, her helper writers have sent 250,000+ letters to recipients facing a variety of personal challenges in 50 states, 73+ countries, and 100+ campuses. I was immediately intrigued. After signing up, I soon received my first email that described the nominated recipients needing to be lifted up by strangers.

Jared is a young man whose father figure died at a young age. His stepfather was often cruel to him. His family was often homeless. Yet despite his challenges, he cared for his sister by brushing her hair, taking her to parks, and making her dinner. Now he is finishing trade school and doing his best to be a good father to his first child. But Jared, who doesn’t often appreciate his accomplishments, needed encouragement, said his sister in her plea for love letters.

Moments later, I sat at my kitchen table with a pen in hand. I closed my eyes and imagined myself standing in Jared’s shoes. What was he feeling? Why was he feeling that way? What had brought him to this place in his life? What could I do to help him find his way? As I began writing in a note card I found tucked away in the desk my grandmother left me when she died, I somehow felt connected to Jared, even though we had never met. Our backgrounds were different. Our obstacles weren’t the same throughout our lifetime. Our emotions were unique to each of us. Still, fate had somehow led us to each other in that moment.

Despite our differences, I could feel his pain. I could relate to his grief for all he had never experienced and lost. I could understand his challenges. I could help him realize that he’s stronger than he ever imagined. I could give him the gift of knowing that there is someone else out in the world who wanted him to become the best version of himself, perhaps more than he wanted it right in that moment. And so I wrote.

As I stepped out of his shoes, stuffed the card into an envelope, and sent it off into the mail to Jared, I was reminded that this—this moment of understanding and unconditional love for all humankind—is what we all need to have as our luggage as we travel forward into the unknown.

Taking a moment to walk in someone else’s shoes can be a useful tool in a business setting, with friends and family, and even during passionate conversations with strangers who may not believe the same things we do. When we listen with empathy to understand the challenges and viewpoints of others, it helps us open our hearts to the possibilities of what can be if we can work together for the betterment of humanity overall.

It’s that simple. Now go forth and spread your love, empathy, and appreciation for your fellow humans. Someone needs you to walk in their shoes right now.

To become a volunteer writer or to nominate a person in need of a love letter, visit moreloveletters.com.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

The Art of Self-Discipline: The Secret to Success

When I was in first grade, my mother enrolled me in piano lessons. Every day after school, I was expected to practice my scales. I hated practicing scales more than anything, but knew that if I completed that dreaded task every afternoon, I would be allowed to play outside with my friends. Anyone who heard me playing those scales—including me—knew I would never be the stand-out star of the annual recital or a concert pianist. Still, I now understand the motivation behind my mother’s resolve to ensure I rehearsed every day. While I was learning to read and play music, she was teaching me the art of self-discipline through a daily practice.

“Motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you going.” John C. Maxwell

Throughout your lifetime, you will come up with ideas you believe are innovative, attainable, and even impressive to those around you. As the excitement builds around each idea, you may share it with trusted friends or family members; document related goals; and begin creating a plan forward that you think will turn that idea into a reality. But then just as you’re happily barreling down the highway of possibilities, you suddenly notice that your journey is more challenging than you imagined. As you come to a screeching halt, your motivation wanes as self-doubt creeps in, leaving you feeling vulnerable, discouraged, and perhaps ready to throw in the towel.

This moment is when great leaders take notice because vulnerability like this has the potential to be transformative and promote positive change. What every great leader knows is that in this very moment, they hold the power to move forward, for this moment is when self-discipline kicks in and leads them past the possibilities and into a fulfilling reality.

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.” Jim Rohn

Practicing self-discipline requires action. In this moment, you must now move from being simply a talker into being a doer by turning bad habits into disciplined daily actions that take you, one step at a time, toward fulfilling your dreams. Whether your goal is to run a marathon, start or grow a business, find a more satisfying career path, or even become the concert pianist I will never be, now is the time to implement daily, disciplined practices that will get you to where you want to go.

Today, begin assessing the daily habits that are currently holding you back from transforming your idea into reality and replace them with actions that will lead you through the discouraging and vulnerable moments to the life-changing realization that it is you who controls the outcome of every idea and, better yet, your overall destiny.

Your vision of success is waiting. Self-discipline is what will get you there.

“Without self-discipline, success is impossible, period.” Lou Holtz

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.