Be Like an Ultramarathoner to Overcome Challenges

Ultramarathoners are a special breed of runners who train for and participate in races longer than the traditional marathon of 26.2 miles. Races often start at 30+ miles and can be as lengthy as 100 miles. The ability to complete these races depends on several characteristics that lie inside all of us: grit, endurance, and the ability to forge ahead with a focused mindset that does not fixate on others in the race, but instead on their own path forward.

Even if you’re not an ultramarathoner, you can utilize the above characteristics to help you overcome those seemingly insurmountable challenges that sometimes create roadblocks that prompt you to wonder if you’ll ever find a way over or around obstacles.

A competitive runner knows the keys to achieving goals in a race. Thankfully these secrets to success can easily be transferred to nearly any situation that life throws your way:

Confidence. Greater confidence comes from identifying and then conquering fears. Confidence also grows when you put a plan in place to address the issue, one step at a time, rather than procrastinating which only causes more worry about failing. By simply jogging in place, you will never reach the finish line. Inch along a little bit every day and reevaluate as necessary. Confidence comes with doing.

Mental strength. Mental strength is having the will to continue, even when you think you can’t. Feeling apprehensive or scared is all part of stepping outside your comfort zone. Identifying your strengths and talents and then finding a way to use them to overcome your challenges is paramount to achieving mental toughness.

Positive self-talk. It’s important to remember the value of positive self-talk. Removing the words “I don’t think I can” from our inner-dialogue the first step to achieving goals. Replace “I can’t” with “I will.” I will finish this race. I will come out on the other side of this experience a better, stronger person.

Visualization. Competitive runners often visualize the finish line when they “hit the wall” (an analogy for when they think they cannot continue). An important component of being able to overcome challenges is the ability to picture better days and a positive outcome in your mind. Take time every day to visualize the best possible results that you can attain from all your efforts.

A support crew. We all need a great support crew, ready to cheer us on from the sidelines. Surround yourself with a group of positive, strong supporters who believe in you, who provide honest feedback when asked, and can hold you accountable to fulfill what you have envisioned for yourself and your life.

Focusing on your own journey. It can be challenging to not compare yourself to others, either while competing in a race or moving through life. But comparing yourself to others and what they are achieving only hinders your own progress. Focus on yourself and your path. You are like no one else in life and neither is your journey. Remember this: the only person better than you is embedded in you.

No matter where you are in life, you have the power within you to utilize the above characteristics to first address and then overcome any challenge that comes your way. Think like a competitive runner. Create a positive inner dialogue, build confidence by doing, and focus on your own journey. When you cross the finish line, celebrate with your support group. You deserve it.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice – Releasing Negativity

During the past year, we’ve all been focused on avoiding an extremely contagious virus. As we have learned, sometimes despite our best efforts, the virus finds its way in.

Negativity is equally as contagious. As much as we try to avoid it, on occasion we encounter people around us whose outlook on life and its challenges may be darker or more pessimistic that ours. After a conversation or encounter, we may notice that our own mood or outlook for the day has been adversely affected. Maybe we even find ourselves commiserating with that person, ultimately transforming our own moods from hopeful to negative.

While we may try to brush off negativity as an unavoidable part of our days, recent studies have proven that repetitive negative thinking may not only contribute to cognitive decline, but also serve as a risk factor for developing dementia later in life.

Caring for our mental health is an extremely important part of maintaining overall wellness. When we protect ourselves from others who think negatively and replace our own negative thoughts as often as possible with positive self-talk, we receive many health benefits that include reduced rates of depression, improved cardiovascular health, better coping skills during adversity, and a longer life span.

Take a minute to soak this in:

No one but you has control over your attitude and day.

Perhaps you feel a release when you read that sentence. Maybe you feel empowered. Whatever you feel, it is important to remember that you, only you, hold the steering wheel as to which direction you head every day in your life.

Today, let’s focus on a mindfulness practice that allows you to protect yourself from negativity when encountering others who may not share your optimistic views. Close your eyes and imagine what happens to your body and mind when you encounter negativity. Perhaps you tense your shoulders or your stomach ties itself in a giant knot.

Take a few deep breaths. Relax all those parts of your body, one at a time. Now imagine yourself inside a warm bubble, protected and safe from the outside world. Finally, repeat this phrase to yourself until you feel calm, focused, and optimistic again:

 You are you, and I am me.

I release this negative energy so that I may be free.

This is a short yet powerful practice that gently reminds us that we are always in control of our attitudes and outlooks, no matter who is around us, what they say, or how they act.

Be you. Be mindful. Be positive.

"Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power."

-- Shirley MacLaine

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice - All It Takes Is One

When life propels us down a challenging path, it can sometimes feel like there are only dark days ahead. Yet if we stop to reflect on monumental moments in our past when just one thing changed our lives for the better, we can replace that negative inner chatter with hope for a new chapter.

Take this time to think about what moments in your past transformed the trajectory of your path in life. Perhaps it was an email from an employer with a job offer. Maybe a former colleague connected you with a mentor that helped you finally turn your side hustle into a full-time business. Perhaps a friend offered a few words of encouragement that helped you believe in yourself and press forward to achieve your dreams.

Now think about all the times you were the one who helped someone else. Maybe you were the patient who allowed a medical professional in training to stick you for a second time when she was unsuccessful on the first try, helping her to believe in herself and her abilities. Perhaps you were the CEO who realized that offering a team flexible hours and better benefits would increase productivity and morale in the long run. Maybe you were the mom who encouraged her children to explore their interests so they could eventually find their passions. Perhaps you were the person who reached out with an email to support an unemployed friend who had lost hope.

No matter where you are right now and no matter where those surrounding you are right now in their journeys, there is always hope. As Emily Dickinson once said, “Hope is the thing with features that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all.”

Remember this: all it takes is one. One phone call, one conversation, or one email to change the direction of your path or the path of someone else. This realization is what will always bring light into the darkest of days.

Believe. Act. Never give up.

“Be an Encourager: When you encourage others, you boost their self-esteem, enhance their self-confidence, make them work harder, lift their spirits and make them successful in their endeavors. Encouragement goes straight to the heart and is always available. Be an encourager. Always.” ―Roy T. Bennett

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

The Gifts in Silence

We’re all living within a world where being busy has oftentimes turned into a competition. We run our children from one event to the next while eating a dinner we really don’t take the time to taste. We race home after work to throw loads of laundry in the wash, never stopping to inhale the scent of fresh clothes after we pull them out of the dryer. When a friend wants to talk, we might view that conversation as just another item to check off our to-do list rather than making a point to listen intently. As we race from one place to the next, feeling frazzled every step of the way, we may eventually realize that being busy is filling only our calendars, not our hearts and souls.

What if being busy all the time is not the best companion for contentment?

As we face the current crisis that has enveloped our world, we are now forced to deal with what many of us view as the most terrifying consequence of this moment in time: silence. Despite our fears of what might come with the overwhelming quiet associated with social distancing, there are many gifts that also come with silence. Remember when you learned the important rule to successfully crossing the street by yourself for the first time? Now is the time to stop, look, and listen.

“Listen to silence. It has so much to say.”

—Rumi

With this unplanned silence comes gifts. The gift of learning. The gift of unconditional love. The gift of a short commute or a commute with less traffic. The gift of sunshine. The gift of fresh, clean air. The gift of the sounds of nature. The gift of meditation and prayer. The gift of good books that help us leave our troubles behind, even if for a short time. The gift of technology that allows us to stay connected. The gift of the truth. The gift of positivity, even in dark times. The gift of hope.

“The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.”

—Albert Einstein

Most importantly, this silence provides us with the gift of time. Time to think. Time to believe. Time to volunteer. Time to be creative. Time to contemplate where we want to go next. Time to reflect on where we’ve been so far. Time to wonder, dream, and share our talents with the world. Time to set goals. Time to write or journal. Time to just BE.

Take a deep breath. Now imagine yourself letting go of all your worries while floating on a leaf downstream. As the current carries you to places unknown, notice all the gifts that line the banks of the stream. A hug from a family member. A smile from a stranger. A phone call from a friend. An opportunity to stop, look, and listen to what your heart wants and needs, not what your schedule demands of you.

All these wonderful gifts are there, just for you. All you have to do is open your eyes to see them.

“Through the portals of silence, the healing sun of wisdom and peace will shine upon you.”

—Paramahansa Yogananda

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.