How to Confidently Move Forward into a New Year with Purpose

As we move into a new year, it can be very beneficial to reflect on the previous year’s accomplishments and lessons before determining how you want to move forward this year.

When thinking about what you achieved and didn’t achieve in the last year, it is important to ask yourself a well-rounded set of questions that not only explore your wins and lessons learned, but also help you find a direction forward:

What have I accomplished this year that I am most proud of? This question can be difficult for some people for mainly one reason. We are reluctant to talk about our accomplishments for fear of sounding boastful or arrogant. Today, this question is just for you, and your answer is just for you to see. In your journal write five things you achieved in the last year that made you feel good. Really good. It doesn’t have to be a major project or milestone or an achievement worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize. Maybe you stood up for yourself for the first time ever. Maybe you helped a friend through a challenging time. Perhaps you faced a big fear and conquered it, one step at a time. Documenting your accomplishments and reviewing them reminds you of all the great things you achieve every year without realizing it.

What is one thing I wish I could have achieved last year that I didn’t? This is not an opportunity for you to beat yourself up. This is an opportunity for you to be honest with yourself. Did you really want to achieve this one thing or did you want to achieve it to please others? If you didn’t achieve it, what do you think were the things standing in your way? If you still want to achieve this one thing, how do you think you can better overcome the obstacles standing in your way this year? In your journal, write your way over the either perceived or true obstacles and find a new direction. You can do it.

Who in my life is holding me back from pursuing my dreams? Hmm, tough question, right? The answer may come to you right away or it may take a while. The person may be someone in your inner circle who is constantly telling you that your dream is unattainable or it may be … gasp … you. Are you standing in your own way? How are you talking to yourself? Are you saying, “Forget it. There’s no way you can do this.” Or are you saying, “I will find a way. It may take me a while, but I will do it.” How you talk to yourself after an encounter with a dream crusher or your own inner-critic is a critical element to whether or not you will succeed in achieving your dreams.

What lessons did I learn in the last year? This is a loaded question, but one that is empowering. We are all here to learn. What valuable lessons did the universe place in front of you for you to carry forward in a positive way? Write at least three in your journal. Some examples might be, “I learned to speak my truth and be more authentic in all my conversations” or “I learned that I don’t know it all,” or “I learned that I deserve more in my career and that it’s okay to explore new opportunities.” Think of three experiences that proved to be challenging for you and then identify a lesson learned. It’s a powerful exercise.

Once you have formulated and reviewed your answers to all of these questions, take some time to reflect. Reflecting on an entire year can be enlightening in many ways. Although it is scary at first, it is an important step in growing as a person, stepping outside your comfort zone, and learning lessons that you can carry forward into the future to better yourself and the world around you.

Now, one final request. Write down three small action steps you can take beginning today to take what you have learned from your answers and create your best life this year.

Although I am encouraging you today to look back into your past, I am also encouraging you to make this a one-time exercise. From today on, live in the present moment where all good things await.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Who Are You?

Photo by Vicky DeCoster

Finding and then embracing our true identity can be one of our biggest challenges in life. While trying to determine who we are and what purpose we are destined to fulfill while here, we can often feel weighed down, confused, frustrated, and in need of answers. 

When feeling overwhelmed, it can be helpful to stop for a moment, retreat into nature, breathe deeply, and look around. In nature, there are no two trees alike, no two animals alike, no two plants alike, no two hiking trails alike, no two sunrises alike, and no two sunsets alike. 

As you take in the gifts that nature provides every day and take note of their one-of-a-kind beauty, now is the time to remember that in the entire universe, there is no one else just like you. You are full of opinions, ideas, and love—all unique to you.  

Today, I am sharing an original poem that may help you remember that just like the sun, the moon, the stars, and everything else in nature, you are exactly how you are meant to be. As you grow, develop, and bravely step outside your comfort zone, believe that everything in your life is progressing just as it should. Be open to learning, seeing yourself with compassionate eyes, and knowing that your journey is yours and yours alone. 

You are the one and only you. Be proud, stand tall, and never give up. 

 I AM 

By Vicky DeCoster 

 I am 

like a star in the sky 

that illuminates the darkness 

In its own way. 

I am 

like the moon 

that glows in all its unique glory 

amid a vast universe. 

I am 

like a blade of grass 

that blows in a gentle breeze 

graceful yet resilient. 

I am 

like the sun 

that warms the Earth 

while reminding of new beginnings. 

I am 

like the water 

that flows downstream 

and helps shape all within its reach. 

I am 

like the sun, the moon, the stars, 

and everything else in nature 

just how I am meant to be. 

I am me. 

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com. 

Three Ways to Transform into a Leader

Recently while on a bike ride on a path alongside a creek, I came upon two boys riding side-by-side. As a fork in the path loomed ahead, I overheard one of the boys say, “We’re lost. I don’t know which way to go.”

The other one glanced around to assess their options and then decisively replied, “Follow me. I know the way.” A few seconds later, they were on the right path.

Which one do you think is already a leader?

What makes one a leader and one a follower? How do some lead teams, their children, or athletes through the unknown and their fears to achieve great things while others wait on the sidelines for someone else to take charge?

True leaders either innately possess or learn to refine certain skills as they develop and grow, both personally and professionally. Below are three skills that you can begin polishing and utilizing today to become the kind of leader you’ve always admired:

1.     CONFIDENCE. This skill is often the most challenging to learn and put into practice. Confidence comes when we walk through our fear of failure to take that first step into the unknown. Confidence comes when we focus on lessons learned rather than mistakes or failures, and then adjust our behavior or thought processes to avoid making the same mistakes again.

Action step: An easy way to build confidence is to keep a weekly log of your accomplishments. Review it at the end of every week and then keep the logs in a file you can refer to when you need a little boost.

2.     SOLUTION-FOCUSED. Leaders point their compasses at solving problems, not creating them. Often, they see problems before they occur and begin developing solutions. While others are busy complaining and lamenting about how bad things are, leaders are busy collaborating and developing options that create a clear path forward.

Action step. The next time you identify a problem, begin contemplating action steps you can take to resolve the challenge and create a positive result, either for you or your family, team, or company. Document the steps and then determine what is in your control and whether you need help in implementing solutions. If so, recruit your team and then get to work. 

3.     MOTIVATIONAL. True leaders have the ability to motivate others to be the best they can be, even when delivering less-than-ideal news. By focusing on strengths, praising good work, and helping manage weaknesses, they provide the kind of encouragement that boosts confidence in everyone around them.

Action step. Make a point of recognizing achievements around you. Even small contributions can have big impacts or lasting positive implications. Focus your attention on others instead of yourself. Express gratitude and show appreciation. We can all learn from everyone, not just those at our same level. 

By implementing the action steps and focusing on refining the three skills listed above, you can transform into a true leader and a shining example for all who cross your path.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Be Like an Ultramarathoner to Overcome Challenges

Ultramarathoners are a special breed of runners who train for and participate in races longer than the traditional marathon of 26.2 miles. Races often start at 30+ miles and can be as lengthy as 100 miles. The ability to complete these races depends on several characteristics that lie inside all of us: grit, endurance, and the ability to forge ahead with a focused mindset that does not fixate on others in the race, but instead on their own path forward.

Even if you’re not an ultramarathoner, you can utilize the above characteristics to help you overcome those seemingly insurmountable challenges that sometimes create roadblocks that prompt you to wonder if you’ll ever find a way over or around obstacles.

A competitive runner knows the keys to achieving goals in a race. Thankfully these secrets to success can easily be transferred to nearly any situation that life throws your way:

Confidence. Greater confidence comes from identifying and then conquering fears. Confidence also grows when you put a plan in place to address the issue, one step at a time, rather than procrastinating which only causes more worry about failing. By simply jogging in place, you will never reach the finish line. Inch along a little bit every day and reevaluate as necessary. Confidence comes with doing.

Mental strength. Mental strength is having the will to continue, even when you think you can’t. Feeling apprehensive or scared is all part of stepping outside your comfort zone. Identifying your strengths and talents and then finding a way to use them to overcome your challenges is paramount to achieving mental toughness.

Positive self-talk. It’s important to remember the value of positive self-talk. Removing the words “I don’t think I can” from our inner-dialogue the first step to achieving goals. Replace “I can’t” with “I will.” I will finish this race. I will come out on the other side of this experience a better, stronger person.

Visualization. Competitive runners often visualize the finish line when they “hit the wall” (an analogy for when they think they cannot continue). An important component of being able to overcome challenges is the ability to picture better days and a positive outcome in your mind. Take time every day to visualize the best possible results that you can attain from all your efforts.

A support crew. We all need a great support crew, ready to cheer us on from the sidelines. Surround yourself with a group of positive, strong supporters who believe in you, who provide honest feedback when asked, and can hold you accountable to fulfill what you have envisioned for yourself and your life.

Focusing on your own journey. It can be challenging to not compare yourself to others, either while competing in a race or moving through life. But comparing yourself to others and what they are achieving only hinders your own progress. Focus on yourself and your path. You are like no one else in life and neither is your journey. Remember this: the only person better than you is embedded in you.

No matter where you are in life, you have the power within you to utilize the above characteristics to first address and then overcome any challenge that comes your way. Think like a competitive runner. Create a positive inner dialogue, build confidence by doing, and focus on your own journey. When you cross the finish line, celebrate with your support group. You deserve it.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.