How to Confidently Move Forward into a New Year with Purpose

As we move into a new year, it can be very beneficial to reflect on the previous year’s accomplishments and lessons before determining how you want to move forward this year.

When thinking about what you achieved and didn’t achieve in the last year, it is important to ask yourself a well-rounded set of questions that not only explore your wins and lessons learned, but also help you find a direction forward:

What have I accomplished this year that I am most proud of? This question can be difficult for some people for mainly one reason. We are reluctant to talk about our accomplishments for fear of sounding boastful or arrogant. Today, this question is just for you, and your answer is just for you to see. In your journal write five things you achieved in the last year that made you feel good. Really good. It doesn’t have to be a major project or milestone or an achievement worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize. Maybe you stood up for yourself for the first time ever. Maybe you helped a friend through a challenging time. Perhaps you faced a big fear and conquered it, one step at a time. Documenting your accomplishments and reviewing them reminds you of all the great things you achieve every year without realizing it.

What is one thing I wish I could have achieved last year that I didn’t? This is not an opportunity for you to beat yourself up. This is an opportunity for you to be honest with yourself. Did you really want to achieve this one thing or did you want to achieve it to please others? If you didn’t achieve it, what do you think were the things standing in your way? If you still want to achieve this one thing, how do you think you can better overcome the obstacles standing in your way this year? In your journal, write your way over the either perceived or true obstacles and find a new direction. You can do it.

Who in my life is holding me back from pursuing my dreams? Hmm, tough question, right? The answer may come to you right away or it may take a while. The person may be someone in your inner circle who is constantly telling you that your dream is unattainable or it may be … gasp … you. Are you standing in your own way? How are you talking to yourself? Are you saying, “Forget it. There’s no way you can do this.” Or are you saying, “I will find a way. It may take me a while, but I will do it.” How you talk to yourself after an encounter with a dream crusher or your own inner-critic is a critical element to whether or not you will succeed in achieving your dreams.

What lessons did I learn in the last year? This is a loaded question, but one that is empowering. We are all here to learn. What valuable lessons did the universe place in front of you for you to carry forward in a positive way? Write at least three in your journal. Some examples might be, “I learned to speak my truth and be more authentic in all my conversations” or “I learned that I don’t know it all,” or “I learned that I deserve more in my career and that it’s okay to explore new opportunities.” Think of three experiences that proved to be challenging for you and then identify a lesson learned. It’s a powerful exercise.

Once you have formulated and reviewed your answers to all of these questions, take some time to reflect. Reflecting on an entire year can be enlightening in many ways. Although it is scary at first, it is an important step in growing as a person, stepping outside your comfort zone, and learning lessons that you can carry forward into the future to better yourself and the world around you.

Now, one final request. Write down three small action steps you can take beginning today to take what you have learned from your answers and create your best life this year.

Although I am encouraging you today to look back into your past, I am also encouraging you to make this a one-time exercise. From today on, live in the present moment where all good things await.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Staying Present through Five Questions

It’s a struggle most of us face every day—to be fully present in every moment. Because the average person has between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts racing through their mind from when they first awaken to when they close their eyes at night, staying present can seem like a daunting task. Despite these challenges, it is possible to live in the here and now as often as we can.

“The ability to be in the present moment is a major component of mental wellness.”

—Abraham Maslow

There are several ways to train our minds to stay in the present that include meditation, journaling, yoga, and prayer. Yet sometimes we are not in a place where it is effective to utilize these practices.

The practice detailed below, easily implemented anywhere, can help you rely on the five senses to gently move your mind back into the present moment.

When you feel yourself living in the past or the future, stop what you are doing and ask yourself the following five questions.

In this moment ….

What do I hear? (this may be the sound of birds chirping, the clicking of your fingers on a computer keyboard, or a car speeding past)

What do I see? (this may be photos on a wall, your co-workers, or a flickering candle)

What do I smell? (this could be coffee brewing, the fresh air after a rain, or dinner on the stove)

What can I touch? (this may be your steering wheel, a stress ball on your desk, or the skin on the top of your hand)

What do I taste? (this may be a piece of candy in your mouth, the coffee you’re sipping, or the meal you are eating)

As you ask yourself these questions, pay attention to your breathing. As it slows, take notice of how your mind is gradually moving into a place of calm and peace. If you feel your thoughts drifting again, gently ease your mind back to the present by intently paying attention what you are hearing, seeing, smelling, touching, and tasting in every moment.

Learning to be present through these five questions can be a powerful practice that can guide you to consistently feeling more peaceful, fulfilled, and happy.

You don’t have to be perfect in life, just present.

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.

Make the Now the primary focus of your life.”

—Eckhart Tolle

This post is original content, not AI-generated.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

A Simple Way to Stop Gossiping, Complaining, and Criticizing

You may have seen her on Saturday Night Live. She’s Debbie Downer and she’s a real downer. When she goes out with her group of optimistic, happy friends, it is not long before she brings the entire clan down with her depressing comments about injuries, accidents, and illness. We all may know a Debbie Downer, but we also understand that we’ve all done it at one time or another—and may even do it several times a day. When we complain, gossip, and criticize others, we bring negative energy into not only our own lives, but also the lives of those around us. Just turn on the news and you realize how easy it is to be a Debbie Downer these days.

In the book A Complaint Free World, Will Bowen suggests wearing a bracelet or rubber band around the wrist to tackle the challenge of eliminating this habit or pattern. Every time you catch yourself complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, you must move the bracelet to your other wrist. You may not remove the bracelet entirely until you have gone twenty-one days straight without gossiping, complaining, or criticizing.

Is it hard to quit gossiping, complaining, and criticizing? Definitely. While this practice may not be perfect for everyone, it does create awareness, which is the first step in initiating positive change in our lives.

While attempting to create awareness, it may be easier to tackle one habit or pattern at a time. For example, for the first seven days, focus on decreasing gossip. During the second week, turn your attention toward complaining. In the third week, do your best to address your criticism of others.

In the beginning of this practice, your bracelet may move quickly from wrist-to-wrist as you learn how often you have been allowing negative comments to surround your life like a black cloud. But then, after a few days, you may notice that you are switching your bracelet from wrist-to-wrist less often. Even better, you most likely are beginning to feel happier. Without being allowed to gossip, criticize, or complain, you could be smiling, laughing, and spreading positivity more often. What could be better than that?

You may never make it twenty-one days without complaining, criticizing, or gossiping, but you might get close. The book suggests that this process of changing how we view life may take as long as four to eight months, but isn’t that a short period of time in an entire life? Suddenly, it doesn’t seem like an unrealistic goal at all.

Simply put, when you feel the bracelet on your wrist, it reminds you that you are a work-in-progress. Although you are not perfect, you are perfectly capable of becoming a better person with every day.

All blog content is original, not AI-generated.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice – Slowing Down to Enjoy Life’s Simple Gifts

One of life’s simple gifts captured by Vicky DeCoster while on a recent hike in the woods

In a world where chaos and busyness is often embraced and even celebrated, it can be difficult to jump off the hamster wheel of life and take a breath. Yet as difficult as it can be to execute at times, the practice of slowing down to enjoy the simple gifts that life brings on a daily basis is critical to maintaining our mental health, especially during challenging periods.

When was the last time you set an intention to really notice the world around you?

Welcome this opportunity to close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Imagine yourself walking on a path in a forest. As you listen to the leaves crunching under your feet and the wind gently rustling the leaves of the trees, you decide not to just look at the path in front of you like you always do. Instead, you choose to begin observing the world through the wonderment of someone who has never seen it before.

What do you see when you open yourself to observe the simple gifts of life?

Perhaps it is the way the sunlight streams through the trees, or the laughter of someone behind you on the trail, or the way the air smells of evergreens. Perhaps it is the way you and your hiking companion can walk in companionable silence, or the sound of a rushing creek next to the path, or the feeling of being a small speck in a giant universe full of possibilities.

Now open your eyes and really look around you. What do you see now? There are simple gifts everywhere, just waiting for you to notice them. Choose one right now and then express gratitude for it.

These gifts are not just for you; they are for everyone. Pay it forward by pointing out a simple gift today to someone else. In doing so, you can help them take a breath and really see life. The domino effect from this practice has the potential to have amazing, lasting effects that have the power to change lives for the better.

Life can be good and life can be heartbreaking. Yet through all the ups and downs, it is possible to stop, take a breath, and notice every simple gift life gives you.

“If you will stay close to nature, to its simplicity, to the small things hardly noticeable, those things can unexpectedly become great and immeasurable.” ―Rainer Maria Rilke

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.