Mindfulness Practice – Releasing Negativity

During the past year, we’ve all been focused on avoiding an extremely contagious virus. As we have learned, sometimes despite our best efforts, the virus finds its way in.

Negativity is equally as contagious. As much as we try to avoid it, on occasion we encounter people around us whose outlook on life and its challenges may be darker or more pessimistic that ours. After a conversation or encounter, we may notice that our own mood or outlook for the day has been adversely affected. Maybe we even find ourselves commiserating with that person, ultimately transforming our own moods from hopeful to negative.

While we may try to brush off negativity as an unavoidable part of our days, recent studies have proven that repetitive negative thinking may not only contribute to cognitive decline, but also serve as a risk factor for developing dementia later in life.

Caring for our mental health is an extremely important part of maintaining overall wellness. When we protect ourselves from others who think negatively and replace our own negative thoughts as often as possible with positive self-talk, we receive many health benefits that include reduced rates of depression, improved cardiovascular health, better coping skills during adversity, and a longer life span.

Take a minute to soak this in:

No one but you has control over your attitude and day.

Perhaps you feel a release when you read that sentence. Maybe you feel empowered. Whatever you feel, it is important to remember that you, only you, hold the steering wheel as to which direction you head every day in your life.

Today, let’s focus on a mindfulness practice that allows you to protect yourself from negativity when encountering others who may not share your optimistic views. Close your eyes and imagine what happens to your body and mind when you encounter negativity. Perhaps you tense your shoulders or your stomach ties itself in a giant knot.

Take a few deep breaths. Relax all those parts of your body, one at a time. Now imagine yourself inside a warm bubble, protected and safe from the outside world. Finally, repeat this phrase to yourself until you feel calm, focused, and optimistic again:

 You are you, and I am me.

I release this negative energy so that I may be free.

This is a short yet powerful practice that gently reminds us that we are always in control of our attitudes and outlooks, no matter who is around us, what they say, or how they act.

Be you. Be mindful. Be positive.

"Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power."

-- Shirley MacLaine

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

Chances are you’ve probably heard the quote by Benjamin Franklin, “There are two things certain in life: death and taxes.” Even though we know death is inevitable for all of us, it can still be morbid picturing the end of our life while asking ourselves, When I die, how do I want to be remembered? Yet, asking yourself that question from time-to-time can shine a light on your past, the current state of your life, and where you want to go in the future. In short, asking “How do I want to be remembered?” allows you to look inward, reflect on the experiences that have brought you to where you are now, and then envision how you want the rest of your life to play out.

So how do you begin contemplating the answer to such an introspective inquiry? First, sit in the moment. Focus on being present and removing all distractions. This time is just for you. Here are a few sample questions that may help begin the process:

•  What do I consider my successes in life?

• What are some of my failures and what did they teach me?

• What have been some of my most influential experiences to date?

• What do I see as my place or purpose?

• What one piece of advice would I give my children and/or grandchildren to take into the future?

Maybe you want to be remembered for your volunteer work helping the less fortunate. Perhaps you want to be remembered for your professional successes. Maybe you want to be remembered as a motivational speaker who inspired others with your story of perseverance through challenges. Perhaps you want to be remembered as a father who was always there for his children. Maybe you want to be known as the sister that everyone could count on, even those not connected to you genetically. Perhaps you want to be known as the person who made everyone laugh, even in their darkest moments. Maybe you want to be known as a mentor who provided encouragement to youth needing to believe in possibilities. Perhaps you want to be known as a politician who worked for all people, not just your constituents. Maybe you want to be remembered as the physician who stops his busy day for a moment to hold the hand of a patient having difficulty handling bad news.

Once you decide how you would like to be remembered, write it down. Length is not important. Be as concise or as lengthy as you feel necessary. This is just one example of a remembrance statement:

I want to be remembered as a kind friend, wife, mother, and trusted guide who provided hope to anyone who needed it, listened more than I talked, and helped others find humor in every situation. I want to be remembered for my ability to connect with everyone who crossed my path—for making them feel welcome and reminding them that we are all just doing our best and that it’s okay to make mistakes. Most of all, I want to be remembered as someone who loved, learned, and left the Earth a better place in the process.

It’s okay if the answer to this all-important question changes as you grow and develop personally. Life is always evolving and transforming, so why shouldn’t you? Once you have formulated your statement, hang it somewhere where you can view it on a daily basis. The power behind this statement will help guide you through the present moment and into a clearer future to become all you were meant to be.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.