The Top Ten Career Lessons

While navigating through decades of different professional roles over a lifetime, we can often feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and that a variety of outside factors are controlling our lives and career paths. Yet with experience comes valuable lessons that, if carried forward in a positive way, can make us feel empowered, fulfilled, and positive about the future.

Lesson 1: Watch for red flags (and trust them). During job interviews or while working in a role, we may see red flags that provide us with an uncomfortable feeling that something isn’t right for us. Unfortunately, we often push down this feeling and tell ourselves, “You can muddle through this,” or “That can’t be right,” or “I’ll just ignore it. It’s not a big deal.” Trust these red flags. They are life’s way of guiding you away from situations or people that do not align you with your best life.

Lesson 2: Rely on your intuition / gut feelings to guide your decisions. When facing a choice in life as to which direction to go, sit in a quiet room away from all distractions and influences from others and ask yourself, “What do I really want for myself here?” Then pay attention to the feeling in your gut while you are contemplating your options. If you feel excited about an option, that is your intuition telling you it’s right for you. If you feel dread, that is your intuition telling you to find a different way forward. Believe your intuition. It rarely lies.

Lesson 3: Know that you control your professional destiny. Don’t surrender your power over your career and professional destiny to someone else. While interviewing, be curious and know that you have the power to make a good decision for yourself. Before you walk in the door, know what will make you happy. Ask good questions and pay attention to the answers. While in a role, don’t ignore feelings that something is going on behind the scenes. If you sense there are big changes ahead, remember that you control whether you stay or go. Don’t wait for something to happen. Update your resume. Talk to a career coach. Begin networking. Always be looking for the next great opportunity.

Lesson 4: Seek professional chemistry. Interviewing is like dating. Just like when searching for a great life partner, you should be seeking great professional chemistry with a hiring manager. If it’s not there, it’s not there. Are you going to be happy if you don’t have a connection with your superior? Are you going to be happy if you can’t trust him or her? Will you be able to be honest and communicate effectively to accomplish great things together? Are you going to be fulfilled if your superior doesn’t have your back? Chemistry is important. Keep searching until you find it.

Lesson 5: Avoid settling. Confidence is an incredibly important factor in attaining professional success and accomplishing great things in life. Settling for less than you deserve will not help you or those you work with. Knowing what you want (before interviewing) and then making confident decisions will propel you forward into your best life. Great decisions do not ever come from a place of desperation. Don’t settle. You deserve better.

Lesson 6: Keep learning. Your education doesn’t stop when you earn a degree, a certificate, or a license. Be a lifelong student who embraces the idea that it’s never too late to refine a skill or learn a new concept. Learn from those around you. Everyone has something to teach. Everyone has something to learn.

Lesson 7: Step outside your comfort zone. Life begins outside the comfort zone. Take it one day at a time. Every day, do something (it doesn’t have to be a big thing) that makes you feel a little uncomfortable. These experiences provide the best lessons. Live without regret. Be open to new adventures. Recognize your fears and then take one baby step every day toward addressing those fears.

Lesson 8: Empower others to be the best versions of themselves. You are not just here on Earth for yourself. You are here for others as well. You probably remember one piece of advice or words of encouragement that you received long ago that changed everything for you. Be that person for someone else. Tell them how proud you are of them. Tell them when they do a good job. Support them through a challenge. When you empower others to be the best versions of themselves, you also become the best version of yourself.

Lesson 9: Be honest with yourself about what you want / need. You are the expert of your own life. Not your parents, your friends, your co-workers, or your boss. Make a list of professional wants and needs. Hang it where you can see it every day. Work toward checking off every item on the list. The more wants and needs you can fulfill, the happier you will be.

Lesson 10: Listen to understand, not reply. Actively listening is a skill you should be refining your entire life. You owe it to yourself and those around you to pay attention. If you have trouble focusing during a conversation, take notes. Circle things that you want to address once the person is done talking. Be in the present moment. Listening intently is a form of kindness. Be kind and respectful by taking the time to really listen.

Your career is yours and yours alone. Don’t sacrifice your happiness. Take time to make good decisions for yourself, keep learning, listen to the red flags and your gut, and listen to and respect those around you. Then teach what you have learned to empower others to believe in themselves, their unique professional paths, and all they have to offer the world.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Calm the Nervous System with This One Simple Practice

During times of chaos or stress, our nervous systems are programmed to go into overdrive. This reaction to stress first began thousands of years ago when humans needed to anticipate threats in order to survive in harsh environments.

In today’s world, stress, and its effects on the nervous system, can cause a host of health problems including high blood pressure, tense muscles, a weakened immune system, anxiety, and addictive behaviors—unless we are able to incorporate regular practices that keep us calm, even during difficult times.

Below is a three-step simple process that can be performed anywhere and anytime. This practice is easy to remember, easy to implement, and has fabulous results:

Step 1: Recognize when you are becoming overwhelmed or stressed. Physical symptoms can be a rapid heartbeat, a cold sweat, irritability, or eye twitching.

Step 2: Once you are aware that you need to calm your nervous system, close your eyes and imagine yourself floating in a pool on your back. You can hear the world around you, but it is muffled like when your ears fill with water. Breathe deeply, in through your nostrils and out through your mouth. Do this 10 times while still imagining yourself floating in a pool.

Step 3: Imagine the best possible outcome to the current situation you’re facing. Now repeat to yourself three times, “I will be okay no matter what.” Open your eyes.

It’s no secret that life is hard. The trick to staying calm is practicing awareness and then incorporating simple exercises that help us live in the moment, have hope, and know that we will survive.

This post is original content, not AI-generated.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Are You Fully Alive?

When asked, many of us might describe the majority of our days as simply ordinary. We go to work, come home, watch television, and go to bed. The next day we wash, rinse, and repeat. Although we know that every day can’t be exciting, it can still sometimes feel like we are in autopilot, methodically moving through each activity or habit without fully living in the moment. 

 You have the power to transform your thinking, anytime, anywhere. 

A friend once shared that when she is experiencing something new or exciting, she throws her head back, raises both her arms in the air, and yells, “I’M ALIVE!” This fun practice is such a great reminder to not just yourself, but to everyone around you to celebrate every extraordinary life experience. 

Whether you are riding a roller coaster, hiking a challenging trail, falling madly in love, traveling the world, giving a speech, taking candid photos, creating art, teaching others a skill, helping someone in trouble, or learning or trying something new, these moments in time provide an opportunity to stop, find joy in the experience, and then celebrate your existence in your own unique way. 

Occasionally reminding ourselves that we are fully alive is an extremely valuable step toward realizing happiness and fulfillment. 

 It is possible to celebrate your life every day in small ways. 

Right now, think about what are you doing when you feel fully alive. How often are you doing these activities that bring joy, make you feel proud of yourself, or build confidence? Replace one mundane habit (watching television) with a new habit (taking an art class) that pairs a concrete action step with your new pledge to live fully. 

 Do more of the things that make you come alive. 

Life is meant to be lived, not endured.  

Why are you here? I’m certain you are not here to robotically navigate through every day while wondering if this is all there is to life. What I am certain of is that you are here for an important reason – to fully live. 

There’s no time to waste. Get busy celebrating life and your beautiful existence. 

(Need an example? Watch the below video of Masaka Kids celebrating their lives!)

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com. 

How to Step into Someone Else’s Shoes

Our world is facing new challenges. As it has been since the beginning of time, we all have our own unique and passionate opinions, viewpoints, and objectives on how to best move humanity forward into the future. Unfortunately because of these differences in how we see the world and our obstacles, many of us find ourselves unable to see or understand the perspectives of others around us. It’s a tough place to be because in order to move forward, we must be able to objectively and collaboratively work together to find a way. Perhaps the first step is to imagine ourselves as another. But this is a skill that requires discipline and practice to execute. So how do we do that?

“Never judge someone until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.”

Native American proverb

In following this idea, I recently stumbled on information about a wonderful non-profit organization while thumbing through a magazine. Since TED speaker, advocate for the broken-hearted, and blogger Hannah Brencher founded moreloveletters.com in 2011, her helper writers have sent 250,000+ letters to recipients facing a variety of personal challenges in 50 states, 73+ countries, and 100+ campuses. I was immediately intrigued. After signing up, I soon received my first email that described the nominated recipients needing to be lifted up by strangers.

Jared is a young man whose father figure died at a young age. His stepfather was often cruel to him. His family was often homeless. Yet despite his challenges, he cared for his sister by brushing her hair, taking her to parks, and making her dinner. Now he is finishing trade school and doing his best to be a good father to his first child. But Jared, who doesn’t often appreciate his accomplishments, needed encouragement, said his sister in her plea for love letters.

Moments later, I sat at my kitchen table with a pen in hand. I closed my eyes and imagined myself standing in Jared’s shoes. What was he feeling? Why was he feeling that way? What had brought him to this place in his life? What could I do to help him find his way? As I began writing in a note card I found tucked away in the desk my grandmother left me when she died, I somehow felt connected to Jared, even though we had never met. Our backgrounds were different. Our obstacles weren’t the same throughout our lifetime. Our emotions were unique to each of us. Still, fate had somehow led us to each other in that moment.

Despite our differences, I could feel his pain. I could relate to his grief for all he had never experienced and lost. I could understand his challenges. I could help him realize that he’s stronger than he ever imagined. I could give him the gift of knowing that there is someone else out in the world who wanted him to become the best version of himself, perhaps more than he wanted it right in that moment. And so I wrote.

As I stepped out of his shoes, stuffed the card into an envelope, and sent it off into the mail to Jared, I was reminded that this—this moment of understanding and unconditional love for all humankind—is what we all need to have as our luggage as we travel forward into the unknown.

Taking a moment to walk in someone else’s shoes can be a useful tool in a business setting, with friends and family, and even during passionate conversations with strangers who may not believe the same things we do. When we listen with empathy to understand the challenges and viewpoints of others, it helps us open our hearts to the possibilities of what can be if we can work together for the betterment of humanity overall.

It’s that simple. Now go forth and spread your love, empathy, and appreciation for your fellow humans. Someone needs you to walk in their shoes right now.

To become a volunteer writer or to nominate a person in need of a love letter, visit moreloveletters.com.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Five Ways to Work through Life’s Challenges

Photo by Koushik Chowdavarapu

Life has a way of throwing challenges our way when we least expect them. One day we’re motoring along on our journey through life without major bumps in the road. But then when we least expect it, life throws a curve in the road that sends us in a direction we never anticipated. Oftentimes, an unexpected turn of events causes us to wonder if we are expected to overcome obstacle alone.

Navigating through challenges is like driving in a snowstorm. Even though you are a cautious driver, your car suddenly hits a patch of ice and, in just a few seconds, lands in a ditch. As you assess the situation, you realize you are the only car on the road. Suddenly you begin to panic. You have two choices: to attempt to shovel yourself out or to call for help. It’s hard to know what to do.

Unfortunately we will all face our own snowstorm at one point or another in life—and the same two choices. So, how do we know when to shovel ourselves out of a situation or ask for help? Here are five ways to work through a challenge and determine whether you need help from an expert:

1.      Assess the situation objectively. If your car is stuck in a ditch during a snowstorm, you’re going to get out and look at how bad it is, right? Then you’re going to determine if you can shovel your way out or if you need a tow truck. When assessing the situation, view the challenge as a stranger would. What is the worst possible outcome? Can I solve this challenge on my own and remain safe? What are the ways I can solve this challenge?

2.      Try a few solutions on your own first. Stay calm and go into problem solving mode. Mentally go over solutions or list them out on paper. Work through the problem one step at a time, just like a math student would. Select one of the options and try it. If it doesn’t work, try another. If your problem is not solved within a comfortable timeframe, then it is time to try another option.

3.      Be open. When seeking help from an outside source, you must first be honest with yourself and then with them. By showing your true self and communicating candidly, you are allowing the person who is trying to help see the entire picture, not just the movie trailer. Be open to ideas and solutions. Be willing to walk down a new path to find the answers.

4.      Learn from the challenge. What is your positive takeaway from this challenge? Could you have prevented it from happening? If so, how? If the challenge was unpreventable, determine one lesson you can extract from the experience that will help you become a better person. Remember, in every experience—good or bad—there is something to learn.

5.      Look forward, not back. It is easy to continually reflect on our most challenging moments, especially when they were negative. But when we are always looking back, it doesn’t allow us to see the beauty in front of us. Chalk up your challenge to a valuable life lesson and, as quickly as you can, do your best to move on.

Working through life’s challenges can be … well … challenging. Following these five steps will help guide you out of the snowstorm and to embracing the message behind the challenge, realizing a newfound resilience, and finding your way back to the road that leads to achieving all your goals.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.