Calm the Nervous System with This One Simple Practice

During times of chaos or stress, our nervous systems are programmed to go into overdrive. This reaction to stress first began thousands of years ago when humans needed to anticipate threats in order to survive in harsh environments.

In today’s world, stress, and its effects on the nervous system, can cause a host of health problems including high blood pressure, tense muscles, a weakened immune system, anxiety, and addictive behaviors—unless we are able to incorporate regular practices that keep us calm, even during difficult times.

Below is a three-step simple process that can be performed anywhere and anytime. This practice is easy to remember, easy to implement, and has fabulous results:

Step 1: Recognize when you are becoming overwhelmed or stressed. Physical symptoms can be a rapid heartbeat, a cold sweat, irritability, or eye twitching.

Step 2: Once you are aware that you need to calm your nervous system, close your eyes and imagine yourself floating in a pool on your back. You can hear the world around you, but it is muffled like when your ears fill with water. Breathe deeply, in through your nostrils and out through your mouth. Do this 10 times while still imagining yourself floating in a pool.

Step 3: Imagine the best possible outcome to the current situation you’re facing. Now repeat to yourself three times, “I will be okay no matter what.” Open your eyes.

It’s no secret that life is hard. The trick to staying calm is practicing awareness and then incorporating simple exercises that help us live in the moment, have hope, and know that we will survive.

This post is original content, not AI-generated.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

How to Create (and Stick to) a Morning Routine in Four Easy Steps

We all have days when we wake up and think that lying in bed sounds like a much better idea than getting up and facing the day. But when you have a reason to put your feet on the floor (besides work or feeding the dog or kids), it makes life seem less mundane and more purposeful.

So, what kind of regular routine might give you a good reason to get out of bed in the morning?

First, focus on yourself only. This is a tough one, but necessary. You have the absolute right to tune out the rest of the world for a few minutes every day. We are all needed by others in some capacity every day, but you also need to connect to your true self on a regular basis in order to maintain your physical and mental health.

Keeping in mind that the focus is inward (thinking of my own pleasure), not outward (attempting to please others), now determine what routine you can easily implement into every morning that places you at the top of the list before everyone else in your life.

Step One: Identify a simple activity that you enjoy the most in life. Is it journaling? Meditating? Praying? Stretching / yoga? Making specialty coffee? Painting? Watching the sunrise? Taking a walk or running? Riding a bike? Reading?

Whatever it is that makes you feel most happy, fulfilled, and at peace, do that first before anything else.

Note: If you must get out of bed earlier to make it happen, the activity has to bring you enough personal fulfillment or pleasure to make it worth it in your mind.

Step Two: Schedule the activity or activities on your phone calendar. The amount of time you spend on the activity is up to you, and doesn’t have to be lengthy. For example:

Meditate (6:00 a.m. to 6:15 a.m.)

or

Stretch (6:15 a.m. to 6:25 a.m.)

or

Journal (6:45 a.m. to 7:00 a.m.)

When your phone reminds you of the activity, take action. It may be challenging at first. Your mind will naturally resist. Change your mindset from (I’m too needed by others to do this) to (I need this time for myself), and get started.

Step Three: Pledge to complete this activity or activities for five out of seven days for the first week. Be disciplined. This is for you and you only. Many people struggle with the concept of putting themselves first, but if you don’t, you may not be presenting your best self to the world.

Step Four: Assess how you feel after a week. Did you want to get out of bed more than usual because you planned the activity every morning? More importantly, did the activity make you feel good? Was it easy to implement? If not, adjust. Try again the next week. Keep trying until it feels natural to think of yourself first.

It’s not selfish to create a daily morning routine that makes you feel good about yourself and the reason why you are here first, before anything else. Give yourself permission to start right now.

You are worth it.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

The Value of Setting a Daily Intention

We are all guided by values we hold close. Just like we are all different, our values are as well. Yet even though we do our best to place importance on our values on a regular basis, we sometimes push ahead in life without remembering what they are or using them to help guide our decisions and realize goals.

There is tremendous value in reviewing our bigger goals and then setting a daily intention for ourselves that helps us get there, one step at a time. Intentions can be set in the mind or documented through a daily journaling practice that invites us to look back whenever we want to see how far we have traveled while on our personal growth journeys. Writing down an intention for the day as the sun rises allows us to look forward to see the possibilities that await us. Every sunset provides an opportunity to review our intentions and determine whether they were valuable in helping us get to where we want to be. If not, there is always tomorrow to reset and create a better intention.

The beautiful thing about the intention-setting practice is that you are in charge of the entire process. An intention can address your desire to take better care of yourself, it can address how you want to present yourself to the world, or it can address a specific goal. There are no rules. Setting an intention every day places you on a clear path. You are the expert of your own life. You know what you need and want. Intentions gently remind you of what you need and want and then help you get there.

Here are a few examples:

To be guided by joy and love in all I do today.

To let go of the sense of urgency to get everything done today.

To find and embrace the inner peace that is always within my reach.

To eat healthfully and treat my body like a sacred vessel.

To look forward, not back.

To practice gratitude for all the simple gifts life provides every day.

To just be.

To find purpose in every step I take today.

To be okay with where I am right here, right now.

To walk with confidence.

To journey in grace with myself and others.

To be okay with whatever happens today and in whatever order it comes.

Setting intentions is a powerful practice that can guide you to attain the life you desire. All you have to do is wait for the next sunrise to start the transformation.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice: Finding Quiet in a Busy World

It can be difficult to boost our joy and zest for life and all it has to offer when we feel pulled in several directions every day—all in an attempt to please everyone else, not ourselves. Therefore, while existing in a world that now expects us to be “on” the majority of the time, it is vital to be mindfully aware of our innate need to find a quiet space to reflect, think, and just be.

“Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.”

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

At least once a week, leave your distractions behind and seek a peaceful place where you can unplug, recharge your battery, and rest your mind. While resting in this space, drink fresh water, write in a journal, listen to the sounds of nature, eat a healthy snack, and take in everything around you with every deep breath. Focus on accepting yourself just as you are; listen to what your head, heart, and gut are saying; and quiet your critical inner voice with positive affirmations.

This is a loving space, just for you. Use it for good, so that others may look at you as an example of how to really live.

 “Peace is its own reward.”

--Mahatma Ghandi

Work is not everything. Our children and grandchildren are not everything. Our spouses are not everything. It is you who is everything. There is only one you. Take good care of yourself.

 Earth teach me quiet ~ as the grasses are still with new light.

Earth teach me suffering ~ as old stones suffer with memory.

Earth teach me humility ~ as blossoms are humble with beginning.

Earth teach me caring ~ as mothers nurture their young.

Earth teach me courage ~ as the tree that stands alone.

Earth teach me limitation ~ as the ant that crawls on the ground.

Earth teach me freedom ~ as the eagle that soars in the sky.

Earth teach me acceptance ~ as the leaves that die each fall.

Earth teach me renewal ~ as the seed that rises in the spring.

Earth teach me to forget myself ~ as melted snow forgets its life.

Earth teach me to remember kindness ~ as dry fields weep with rain.

--A Ute Prayer

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice – Loving Yourself First

As Valentine’s Day quickly approaches in a year when celebrations are looked upon differently, some of us may sigh in annoyance at this love-focused holiday while others may look forward to celebrating with flowers, candy, or a romantic dinner.

While it is of value to celebrate our relationships with others and let them know how much we appreciate them, it is even more important to place ourselves at the top of the list of those we love. Unfortunately, we often berate ourselves silently, telling ourselves that we are not deserving of happiness, that we are stupid, that we lack talent, or that we don’t have the capacity to make good decisions. Yet there is one all-knowing truth that we should remember, no matter what our challenges are while living in a world that often feels out of control. That truth is this:

We have complete control over our thoughts and actions.

With this truth in mind, today’s mindfulness practice is focused on providing an exercise that will help you incorporate some behaviors and thoughts that remind you that it is you who is in control.

Stand in front of a mirror with a paper and pen near you. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Now open your eyes again and view yourself like a friend would.

What do you see that is good?

Now write down your positive observations (i.e., “I see a person who has endured many struggles and has come out stronger as a result” or “I see a woman who has somehow managed to muster the motivation to lose 10 pounds, despite living in quarantine for months”).

Next, write down what you love about yourself (i.e., I love my strong arms or I love my heart or I love my intellect).

Now, draw a circle and write “I Am” inside.

Outside of the circle, write the positive words that best describe you (one word descriptions only) (i.e., strong, determined, generous, caring, free-spirited, loving). Keep writing until you have fully described yourself. Draw an arrow from the circle to each word.

Once you have identified all your positive attributes, hang the paper on your mirror. Read it every morning and evening. Celebrate all you have been, all you are today, and all you will be in the future.

We are what we tell ourselves. This practice reminds us how special we are and, most importantly, how deserving we are of life’s greatest gift: unconditional love.

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.” ―Steve Maraboli

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Five Easy Steps to Implementing Self-Care into Your Life

Photo by Vicky DeCoster

In a busy and competitive world, it is sometimes easy to place self-care on the back burner. We spend long hours at the office, drive our kids to soccer practice, care for our aging parents, and eat meals on-the-go. With “to-do” lists a mile long, we mistakenly believe there is not a free moment left in the day to focus on ourselves. Thankfully, there is good news. There are simple things you can begin doing today to create and implement a self-care routine that allows you to take a breath, focus on your own happiness, and ultimately find the good in every day.

Take a 20-minute walk outdoors. Being out in nature boosts your immune system while providing a gentle reminder that life, just like nature, changes often and, in the process, creates beauty. By turning your focus to the color of the trees, the warm sun, and the blue sky, you give your busy mind a much-needed rest and allow yourself to just be. Walks can be scheduled on your calendar, just like meetings. Appointments with yourself are just as important as appointments with clients, your boss, or a friend.

Find one thing to be grateful for every day. Whether it is clean water, a warm bed, or a car that starts on a cold winter morning, it is important to recognize the simple things in life we take for granted that so many others wish they could have. Every night before bed, make a mental note of what you are grateful for. This exercise takes only a few moments and will provide you with the kind of fresh perspective that leads to unlimited happiness.

Say no. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Your colleagues will still like you if you occasionally turn down an invitation for after-work drinks. Your family will still love you if you say no to doing laundry on Sundays. Your friends will still want to be your friends even if you have to reschedule a lunch. It’s okay not to be so busy that you just run from one place to the next without focusing on the here and now.

Meditate. Meditating does not have to include sitting cross-legged on the floor, burning candles, or listening to New Age music. Meditating can occur while you’re on the treadmill, on your lunch hour, or while you’re lying in your bed at night. The process of meditating means that for a short period of time, you are allowing your mind to rest. Simply repeating peace-invoking words in your head like “love” or “joy” can provide serenity to even the most stressed of souls. Meditation lowers blood pressure, heart rates, and can even help promote creative thinking.

Practice empathy and forgiveness … for yourself.  Implementing positive self-talk is a valuable component of a daily self-care routine. Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. We are here on earth for two reasons: to love and learn. Talk to yourself empathetically like a friend would. Tell yourself that it’s okay if you make mistakes, that you’re not perfect, and that life will go on, just as it always has. None of us are flawless. Don’t expect yourself to be either. Remember it is just as important to treat yourself as well as you treat others around you.

Implementing a self-care routine is an important part of achieving a happy and fulfilling life. You are worth it. Start today. I promise you won’t regret it.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Transitions Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.