As Valentine’s Day quickly approaches in a year when celebrations are looked upon differently, some of us may sigh in annoyance at this love-focused holiday while others may look forward to celebrating with flowers, candy, or a romantic dinner.
While it is of value to celebrate our relationships with others and let them know how much we appreciate them, it is even more important to place ourselves at the top of the list of those we love. Unfortunately, we often berate ourselves silently, telling ourselves that we are not deserving of happiness, that we are stupid, that we lack talent, or that we don’t have the capacity to make good decisions. Yet there is one all-knowing truth that we should remember, no matter what our challenges are while living in a world that often feels out of control. That truth is this:
We have complete control over our thoughts and actions.
With this truth in mind, today’s mindfulness practice is focused on providing an exercise that will help you incorporate some behaviors and thoughts that remind you that it is you who is in control.
Stand in front of a mirror with a paper and pen near you. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths. Now open your eyes again and view yourself like a friend would.
What do you see that is good?
Now write down your positive observations (i.e., “I see a person who has endured many struggles and has come out stronger as a result” or “I see a woman who has somehow managed to muster the motivation to lose 10 pounds, despite living in quarantine for months”).
Next, write down what you love about yourself (i.e., I love my strong arms or I love my heart or I love my intellect).
Now, draw a circle and write “I Am” inside.
Outside of the circle, write the positive words that best describe you (one word descriptions only) (i.e., strong, determined, generous, caring, free-spirited, loving). Keep writing until you have fully described yourself. Draw an arrow from the circle to each word.
Once you have identified all your positive attributes, hang the paper on your mirror. Read it every morning and evening. Celebrate all you have been, all you are today, and all you will be in the future.
We are what we tell ourselves. This practice reminds us how special we are and, most importantly, how deserving we are of life’s greatest gift: unconditional love.
“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.” ―Steve Maraboli
Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.
