Are You Living in the Past, the Future, or the Present?

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future,

focus on living fully in the present.” ―Roy T. Bennett

There are three ways to live life. One is to constantly return to the past where we seize the opportunity to identify our regrets, relive our mistakes, and question why we have had to endure challenges.

The second is to live in the future where we seemingly believe that if we gaze into an imagined crystal ball, we can somehow predict everything that is going to happen to us, even when we know deep inside that life is more often unpredictable than not.

Finally, we can choose to live in the present, where we are mindfully aware that we are most content when we embrace every moment with wonderment, gratitude, and curiosity.

While it is sometimes helpful to return to the past to heal old wounds or identify learning lessons to take forward in a positive way, or to temporarily look into the future in order to set attainable goals or pinpoint how to align ourselves with our best life, living in the present invites us to journey to a place of acceptance where we openly welcome all that life brings, both good and bad, while knowing that with each experience, we are provided with an opportunity to learn and become better versions of ourselves.

As terrific as that idea sounds, it can seem like a daunting task, especially when we have been living in either the past or the future for some time. So what can we do to make this task become more effortless?

First, practice becoming mindfully aware of when you are expending unnecessary energy to return to the past to beat yourself up or attempting to imagine a future that has not unfolded.

When you realize you are living in the past or future, gently bring your mind back to the here and now. Look around you. Really see everything: your family members, the flowers in your garden, or your pets. Identify one thing to be grateful for right now. Breathe.

Lastly, think of an easy phrase that allows you to bring yourself back to the present whenever you find yourself living elsewhere. That phrase could be, “Here and now,” or “Stay focused,” or “Be present.” Repeat this phrase several times until you feel yourself right here, right now, in this moment.

If you find yourself living in the past or the future, remember that you are not alone. Everyone deals with this challenge at some point in their lives. With that said, it is important to note that the most content people have developed and then incorporated a consistent daily practice that promotes a “be here now” mindset.

Be patient with yourself as you begin this practice. Even the best habits take time to implement. You are here to learn and grow. By implementing this disciplined practice, you are doing just that.

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“Sometimes what a person needs is not a brilliant mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listens.” —Unknown

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Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice - Writing Headlines to Bring You Closer to What You Want from Life

Every day, headlines in the news capture our attention, either prompting us to read more or move on. Great headlines are clear, concise, and have a direct impact on the reader.

What if you could write a headline about your own life on a daily basis?

The good news is that you can.

Every morning before getting out of bed, grab a notebook or journal and envision a headline you would like to describe the day ahead. Begin the process by asking yourself these five questions that will help you focus, find clarity, and identify a vision:

What emotion do I want to focus on today? (i.e., gratitude, joy, fulfillment, perseverance)

What do I want to specifically achieve today? (i.e., a clear goal)

Who do I want to be today? (i.e., peaceful, grateful, loving)

What promise do I want to fulfill to myself today? (i.e., to be calm, passionate, or to talk nicely to myself)

What light can I shine on the world today? (i.e., kindness, the gift of listening without judgment, hope)

Close your eyes. Focus on your breath. Bring your thoughts inward. Take a few moments to contemplate what is really important to you today. It doesn’t have to be complex. Simple is better. Now open your eyes, grab a notebook, and describe what you want in a few words. For example, your headline might be:

Athlete Decides Progress, not Perfection, is a Better Way to Live

Job Seeker Dedicates One Hour to Networking

Executive Makes Good on Three Client Promises

New Retiree Says Goodbye to Bad Habits and Hello to Positive Changes

Entrepreneur Finds New Ways to Achieve Balance and Fulfillment

Passionate Helper Performs Two Random Acts of Kindness

Avid Reader of News Shuns News to Achieve Inner Peace

As the above examples demonstrate, there are many ways to write a headline that describes what you want for your day and how you want to present yourself to the world. The important takeaway is to remember that each headline you write brings you closer to what you want for yourself and your life.

Headlines can set the framework for solving a problem, help you see a better future, and ultimately guide you to remembering that it is you who holds the power to creating your own destiny, one day at a time, one headline at a time.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living His Passion - Miles Moore

Miles stands next to his plane with his dogs by his side.

Miles Moore first began nurturing an interest in flying when he was a boy. His father, a World War II pilot who flew a B29 bomber in the Pacific Rim, captured Miles’ attention early-on with his fascinating stories about flying airplanes. As Miles grew up in Omaha and learned about entrepreneurship through managing a paper route for the Omaha World-Herald, he had no idea that he was already building the foundation to carry out two future dreams: one as a business owner and the second as a pilot.

Following graduation from Iowa State where he majored in Finance, Miles moved to Chicago where he began a career as a financial advisor. After raising children and building his own firm, Moore Financial, Miles and his wife, Joanne, moved from Chicago to Steamboat Springs, Colorado, in 2014 to pursue their lifestyle interests. For Miles, the move meant more opportunities to ski, hike, and ultimately continue the journey to attain his private pilot certificate.

Miles says that earning a pilot certificate is both a demanding and rewarding process. Only forty percent of registered student pilots complete the certificate. The training process, which typically takes about one year, consists of completing curriculum related to aerodynamics, regulations, airport procedures, navigation, flight planning, etc.) and hands-on flight training. Students must also pass both a FAA written exam and a flight test/check-ride with an FAA examiner. Once the certificate is obtained, pilots frequently work to complete advanced ratings such as Instrument Rating, Multi-engine rating, Commercial Rating, and Certified Flight Instructor.

Ask any pilot what they like most about flying and they will probably say it is both challenging and fun. Miles is no exception. He adds, “There are limitless learning opportunities and it opens a world of possibilities. For me, the independence and flexibility that comes with flying is a huge draw.”

Miles began researching how to purchase a plane after his first flight lesson. After determining which models would deliver the performance necessary for a demanding mountain/high altitude environment plus provide the speed and capacity appropriate for regional business and personal travel, he purchased a turbo-charged, six-seat Beechcraft Bonanza in February 2017. His plan is to fly the plane for three years, further advance his skills, and then purchase a jet-engine-powered Piper Meridian.

Miles pilots his plane above the clouds.

Miles credits his father’s influence for instilling his spirit of adventure and passion for aviation. When he hangs up his entrepreneurial hat one day, he plans to serve as a flight instructor so he can inspire other adults and teach them how to fly.

Flying provides a great outlet for Miles as he receives great satisfaction from setting and accomplishing goals. He advises anyone who wants to pursue their passion in life to create a written plan with action steps and deadlines. He adds, “Recognize that change is challenging for everyone and generally only happens when you’re uncomfortable. When the pain of not pursuing your passion and goals exceeds the pain associated with change, you know you’re ready to move forward.”

Miles’ passion for flying is a testament to an inspiring quote from Leonardo da Vinci, “Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.”

There is no question that when Miles steps into his airplane, pulls back the throttle, and soars into the sky, he is relishing in every bit of the freedom his father valiantly fought for some seventy years ago. And from somewhere even higher in the sky, his father is smiling down on him.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.