What Are You Doing to Pay It Forward?

A recent magazine article profiled a woman who, after turning eighty, decided to celebrate her birthday in a different way. Inspired by a friend who decades earlier gifted a mutual acquaintance with twenty-one roses on her twenty-first birthday, the woman began contemplating how she could pay it forward and help others—all while rejoicing in her long life. As she started to pull together a plan to hand-deliver eighty dollars to eighty friends and relatives, ask them to gift it to someone in need, and then send her a note to tell her about the experience, the woman had no idea of the positive impact her plan would have not just on the world, but also on her. As the notes detailing one amazing experience after another started to fill her mailbox, the woman soon realized that even the smallest of gestures have the power to spread monumental joy. Her most important takeaway lesson was that in her efforts to help and lift others, her life was forever changed as well.

We all know that life is not easy. It is full of just as much heartache as joy and just as many challenges as effortless tasks. When we are able to detach from the unhelpful practice of comparing ourselves to others, we also know deep inside that none of us are better than anyone else. We are all here to love, learn, struggle, and celebrate. No matter how much money we have in our bank accounts, we are all exiting this life the same way. Wherever we reside in the world, we are more alike than we imagine.

Every morning when we awaken to begin a new day, we are presented with the opportunity to transform the world around us with kindness. Paying it forward doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. It can be as simple as buying a cup of coffee for a friend or stranger, inviting a widowed neighbor to dinner, offering a genuine hug to someone who is suffering, taking in the neighbor’s trash can on a windy day, writing a thank-you note to a friend or co-worker who picked up the lunch tab, whispering encouragement to a young adult struggling to find himself or herself, or apologizing to someone for being impatient, rude, or angry during a time when portraying a calm presence would have been a better choice.

In paying it forward, we are not only reminding others of the importance of kind gestures, but also ourselves. While it is easy to become caught up in the busyness of life, it is also just as easy to slow down, take a look around, and realize that someone needs you right now. That someone may be a stranger, a client, your company’s CEO, or someone you love more than anything.

To transform your thinking toward paying it forward as often as possible, remember the three words you learned when crossing the street for the first time: Stop. Look. Listen. Someone needs hope. Someone needs encouragement. Someone needs love. Someone needs to know that in the midst of navigating this often-challenging life, there is light.

In the act of gifting someone with a tiny moment of joy in this imperfect existence we call life, you give yourself the greatest gift of all: the knowledge that we are all in this together.

Make a difference.

“A purposeful act or extension of kindness to another is never wasted, for it always resides in the hearts of all involved in a chain of love.”

―Molly Friedenfeld

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

When It’s Time to Reevaluate Your Inner Circle

Who is in Your Inner Circle?

Although we do our best every day to surround ourselves with a great group of supporters, sometimes events or situations occur that can prompt disappointment or frustration with those in our inner circle. When these feelings become consistent and hard to ignore, it is most likely a good time to reevaluate the relationship and what you are receiving from it. While none of us are perfect, sometimes there are red flags that we may choose to ignore out of fear of being alone, a belief that a person will change to please us, or the hope that one day, the person will make as much time for us as we make for them.

So, what are some powerful questions to ask yourself while reflecting on your current relationships?

1.     Am I getting what I want and/or need from this friendship/relationship on a regular basis?

2.     Is this person an energy zapper or an energy producer?

3.     Does this person have my back?

4.     Is this person honest with me?

5.     Does this relationship offer a safe place for me to be myself and for the other person to do the same?

6.     Do I feel better about myself after spending time with this person?

7.     Do I feel accepted for who I am, even when I’m having a bad day?

8.     Do our conversations feel natural, and do I feel heard in all situations and at all times without judgment?

9.     Can I trust this person with my secrets and to not talk behind my back?

10.  Does this person treat me with kindness and respect in all situations?

If, while asking yourself these important questions, you realize that the relationship is not as meaningful as you would like, it’s always a good idea to compassionately communicate your concerns to the other party and give them a chance to respond and address the issues before making any decisions. In the end, it is up to us to protect ourselves from unhealthy or toxic relationships and surround ourselves with a good support system that boosts us to confidently move forward in life knowing we are unconditionally loved and accepted.

No matter how hard we try to avoid ending relationships that don’t work for us anymore, it is always a good idea to step back, ponder all interactions, and then if necessary, accept that if it is time to move in a different and separate direction, it will be a good decision for you. After all, it is not until we walk away from relationships that do not serve us anymore that we can become open to receiving new relationships that do.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living Her Passion - Loli Pop Dah Clown

Loli Pop Dah Clown

Kathleen Scofield considered herself lucky while growing up in a Christian family and visiting circuses and parades where the clowns were always her favorite. After the family later migrated from Hastings to Bellevue, Nebraska, Kathleen attended school and met her future husband. After marrying Rick, she eventually became a dental assistant and later a team lead while raising three wonderful children. But while attending church one day with her mother, Kathleen had no idea that, at age fifty-four, her somewhat ordinary yet blessed life was about to become extraordinarily fun.

After a fellow church-goer asked Kathleen if she had ever considered attending clown college and becoming a clown, Kathleen doesn’t remember her response, but does recall her mother’s who said, “Why would she need to be a clown? She’s been a clown her whole life and sometimes I think she’s lost her marbles!” Life in Christ Clown College was beginning in two weeks. On a wing and a prayer, Kathleen enrolled and graduated in November 2008 with only one regret. “I should have started clowning long before I did,” she states.

Students at Life in Christ Clown College, founded by a Lutheran minister and a Christian clown, attend classes taught by clown graduates. During the sixteen-week program, Kathleen not only learned how to apply makeup, create balloon animals, paint faces, and perform in hospitals, but also was encouraged to reflect on her life’s journey to find inspiration to write and present a skit for her final project. Once she graduated, Kathleen was invited to join The Life in Christ Circus. Kathleen says the best advice she received when she decided to pursue clowning was, “Never forget clowning begins with your heart. Keep your heart in everything you do, and not just when clowning.”

Today Kathleen, who is now retired from her career, is known as the very popular Loli Pop Dah Clown. She is active in three clown troupes in Omaha, Nebraska, who are called to churches, Christian retreats, senior living centers, daycares, libraries, and various benefits to share giggles, grins, and their big hearts. A typical day includes cleaning and restocking her face paint and glitter tattoo art kits as well as her balloon twisting cart, sending out emails, studying upcoming jobs and associated requests, and of course, attending events.

Preparing for an event takes around an hour now that Loli Pop has years of experience under her belt. After she applies her makeup, she inserts hair bows and earrings, adds a bow tie, suspenders, or humorous badges to her outfit, loads her pockets with fun items to pull out when needed, and dons her BIG clown shoes. Only one time did Loli Pop walk out the door without her red clown nose. Thankfully, she was able to paint her nose on that day, but now always remembers to check twice before leaving for an event.

Children sometimes ask her if she is a real clown. Her answer is always, “Yes, I am. Are you a real girl or boy?” Their indignant responses always tickle Loli Pop, “Yes, I am a real girl or boy!” (as if they are questioning themselves).

The biggest lesson she has learned from being a clown is to walk carefully in her big clown shoes after accidentally falling and injuring her shoulder. She also learned early in clowning that not everyone is a fan of clowns. Loli Pop respects and understands their fears while reminding them that the scary imposters do not have the heart of a clown.

These days, Loli Pop still considers herself blessed, just in different ways than her younger years. This year, she learned to play “Happy Birthday” on her harmonica and will be taking lessons this fall to learn how to play more songs.

Loli Pop advises anyone wanting to pursue their passion in life to get after it. “You’re never too old. Life is too short to waste, so love yourself, love what you do, and be choosy who you spend your precious time with,” she adds.

Sage advice from someone who is confidently and faithfully walking in her BIG clown shoes every day to bring joy and happiness to anyone who believes, just as Groucho Marx did that “Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast.” 

To book Loli Pop for an event, visit her Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/lolipopdahclown/.

Loli Pop Dah Clown loves to provide laughs wherever she goes!

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Three Steps to Successfully Move Toward a Calling

The findings from a recent Gallup survey may not be a surprise to many of us: only 13% of employees worldwide are engaged in their jobs. It’s an eye-opening statistic that may prompt some of us to wonder whether we have all become robotic in our job duties, bored with the mundane, unappreciated by our superiors, or even more importantly, whether it is time to find our calling in life.

Stephen Hawking lived 55 years longer than expected after being diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease at age 21. It is well-known that Hawking loved creating scientific theories, solving complex problems, and teaching mathematics to enthusiastic students. He had truly found his calling. Could it be that pursuing our calling gives us a reason to wake up every day, even in the most challenging of circumstances? It’s an interesting theory that even Stephen Hawking might appreciate.

Finding a calling—a meaning for your life that fulfills a higher purpose—is probably the main request our persistent and sometimes loud inner voice makes on a regular basis. A calling or purpose is the one thing our souls, hearts, and minds regularly crave, and the one thing that keeps us going when all we want to do is give up. But finding a calling is not as easy as it sounds and often doesn’t happen as quickly as we’d like. It requires deep soul-searching, a roadmap for success, and an accountability partner who can help us identify a clear direction and then stay on track once we start a journey to achieve our dreams. So what can you do right now to successfully move toward your calling? Here are three steps that will get you on your way:

Step #1:

Transform your thinking and begin believing in yourself and your unique abilities.

Oftentimes, others believe in us more than we believe in ourselves. Breaking old thought patterns can be challenging. It requires consistent and positive self-talk that overrides negativity when it creeps in. When you notice the thoughts, gently say to yourself, “Stop, Look, and Listen.” Stop the thoughts. Look for the positive. Listen to your optimistic inner-voice. 

Step #2:

Remember that everything meaningful and important in life starts with three words: It is possible.

When you were a child, you may have thought you couldn’t ride a bike—until someone told you that you could. Now it’s up to you to tell yourself everything you need to know. Once you learn to replace the words, “I can’t do this,” with “It is possible,” you’ll be amazed at what you can do. Try it.

Step #3:

Embrace the fact that every sunrise offers the opportunity for a new beginning.

No matter what happened yesterday on your journey, today brings new opportunities, ideas, and adventures. You will never be able to move forward into the future if you are always looking behind you and admonishing yourself for the mistakes of your past. Embrace every second of right now. Breathe the air, watch the sunrise, and welcome the potential that every day brings.

Stephen Hawking defied seemingly insurmountable odds to leave an incredible mark on the world. He became a world-renowned theoretical physicist as well as a husband and father, despite his physical challenges. What do you think kept him going during the worst of times? His calling. Now go find yours.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients, both local and nationwide, to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living His Passion - Scott Papek

I’m excited to turn the microphone around and profile Scott Papek of Papek Media. Scott is a passionate problem solver with over 20 years in the media business, including radio, music, and television, and in selling marketing and travel photography. Today, he’s host of the popular podcast, Fyigt For It, where he profiles guests who have overcome adversity to attain success. To listen to my interview with Scott and learn about his path to achieving his dreams, click below:

For more about Scott and his work, visit https://scottpapek.com/ and https://www.papekphotography.com/.

Who Inspires You Every Day?

Sometimes in life, the simplest everyday acts are what inspire us the most.

He has no idea he inspires me. The neighbor who lives four doors up the hill from me has special challenges. Every morning for the past twenty years, he has diligently laced his sneakers, bundled up if it’s freezing, and headed out his door for exercise. He is disciplined, determined, and reliable. No matter what the weather, he perseveres.

My office window faces the sidewalk. Sometimes I happen to look up while he’s on the last stretch of his outdoor exercise session. All these years, I have been stopping whatever I am doing and quietly observing him as he heads home. You see, our houses are situated on top of a giant hill—a hill that I have been trying to tackle at the end of my run for the last twenty years—and the same hill that he has conquered every day on his own without a coach, parent, or personal trainer to cheer him on.

His journey to the top of the hill is not easy every day. As the years have progressed, his gait has slowed to a slow and steady pace. Although he leans to one side now, he trudges up the hill with a quiet determination while keeping his focus on his goal of reaching the top of the hill, no matter what it takes. His daily struggle is mesmerizing and always prompts me to reflect on his perseverance despite his challenges and then determine a way I can utilize this inspiration to motivate myself to achieve what I want for my own life, not just that day but every day.

Inspiration is all around us. All we have to do is be aware. Inspiration comes from the child who is overjoyed after solving a math problem without help from the teacher. Inspiration comes from the mother who juggles complicated tasks at work and then comes home to simultaneously care for her aging parents and young children. Inspiration comes from Paralympic athletes who prove over and over again that great things can be achieved despite physical obstacles. Inspiration comes from a senior citizen who has found her purpose in serving others during her final act in life. Inspiration comes from the bus driver who makes a point of smiling at all his passengers as they enter his bus, the server who makes a special point of complimenting all her guests, the CEO who heads a fundraiser for an employee facing hard times, or the ordinary man who, without thinking, runs into a burning building to save those inside from certain death.

My neighbor will probably never know the influence he has had on how I view life. Since I first began observing him from my office window, we have both sprouted a few more gray hairs and learned new things, all while managing to keep ourselves upright and breathing. We have much more in common than not. Through it all, he has taught me that no matter what our challenges, we all have the power to look deep within for the strength to trudge up the hill to reach our goals and pursue the life we were meant to have.

Today, look for the inspiration. I promise it is there, all around you, just waiting to lead you in the right direction.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients both in Omaha and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living Their Passion, Dean and Jayne Bredlau

Dean and Jayne Bredlau

When Dean Bredlau and Jayne Watts first met in 2014, they focused on growing their relationship with each other and God, not plants. It was not until after they married in September 2015 and settled in Zumbrota, Minnesota, that they noticed their conversations frequently turned to farming. The summer of 2016, Dean took a leap of faith and planted a garden in sandy, hard, and weedy soil on a friend’s farm. Despite having little to show for his efforts other than a few less-than-flavorful vegetables, Dean was enthused about doing more.

Soon, Jayne and Dean began researching and watching “dirty” movies on YouTube on composting, organic growing, soil composition, planting and watering methods, seeds, and seed growing. After several months of experimentation growing microgreens indoors, their urban farm-to-table grower business, My Sweet Greens MN, was born. Jayne, who held a variety of roles at a local newspaper and within a large hotel portfolio, had some flower gardening experience. Dean, who is a QA Technician by day, was equally as inexperienced at growing vegetables. But as they combined his passion for farming with her keen interest in marketing and promotions, their idea began to sprout into a business with strong roots.

While maintaining their full-time jobs, the Bredlaus focused on moving their business forward. Jayne began bringing samples of what would become their two signature blends to the executive chef at her employer for input. One day after asking if they were ready to sell their microgreens, he became their first customer. In August 2018, Jayne resigned from her job to focus on the business full-time.

Microgreens are small vegetable shoots that are grown for eight days in one inch of potting soil and vermiculite. After the shoots are harvested by cutting, the roots and seeds are left in the soil which is repurposed to their market gardens. In comparison, baby leafy greens are grown in soil in the ground for approximately 21 days and are cut from the plant for consumption. The Bredlaus package the microgreens for sale in two-ounce clam shell boxes for retail sales in stores and farmers markets, and also to sell in bulk to restaurants. Customers add microgreens that include sweet pea and sunflower shoots, arugula, broccoli, kale, and cabbage to salads, sandwiches, smoothies, soups, stir-fries, and much more.

Today, their business is bustling. With assistance from two part-time independent vendors and occasionally their children, the Bredlaus package approximately 150 pounds of microgreens per month. In addition to supplying 10 retail stores (including Hy-Vee stores, a local grocery store, three Co-ops, and a handful of restaurants) with their five core microgreen products, the Bredlaus also vend at area summer and winter farmers markets.

Jayne says that running a niche produce business comes with its challenges. In the past three years, she has learned to listen to customers, rely on her grit, network with peers, and most importantly, to never give up. Dean, who has never met a stranger, focuses on utilizing his background in farming and quality assurance in food product manufacturing to extend their outreach into the community and beyond. It is their passion to educate all customers about the benefits of incorporating microgreens into a daily diet. The future looks bright for My Sweet Greens MN, despite the recent news that they will have to change the name of their business by the end of 2020 due to trademark issues.

For anyone contemplating pursuing their passion, Jayne advises they should clearly define the purpose and vision for their dream, and then determine what resources will be needed and who will be impacted and how. Finally, Jayne advises to step in faith, calculate the risk, and evaluate the dream with realistic criteria. Today, Jayne believes that what she does matters—something she could not do even a year ago.

Jayne says that she has always lived to be the best she could be for the people in her life, for her employers, and for the responsibilities she bears in life. Now she is living by the motto, you only live once. “It’s time to chase my dream—to live my passion. I believe each person gets this chance, probably once in life. Take it. Jump. The net will be there. You’ll learn to bounce back, stand up, and trust in what’s truly important.”

Abraham Lincoln said it best. “The greatest fine art of the future will be the making of a comfortable living from a small piece of land.” The Bredlaus are well on their way to living that profound truth every day.

For more about My Sweet Greens MN, visit their web site at https://www.mysweetgreensmn.com/ or find them on Instagram @mysweetgreens__mn and Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mysweetgreensmn/.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

During the early part of 2019, a college admissions scandal involving several wealthy parents stole the headlines for months. These parents, while seemingly attempting to keep up with other parents, bought their way into prestigious and competitive colleges they wanted their children to attend. One of the rumors surrounding this story was that some of the parents attended parties, heard where other parents were sending their children, and then, fueled by the mistaken belief that in order to be accepted by their peers, they would have to do whatever it took—even if it was illegal—to ensure their children could attend the same schools. Imagine the pressure they must have felt to take such desperate measures.

Trying to keep up with others in life is exhausting. While constantly focusing on what others are doing rather than our own journeys, it allows us to escape our reality—good or bad—and turn the attention away from ourselves and what we need to change in order to attain what we want in life.

Race horses are often given blinders to keep their attention on what is ahead when galloping around a racecourse. It has been said that blinders were invented when a preacher placed a wager that his horse could walk both up and down the stairs in his house. The horse walked up the stairs just fine. But when the horse refused to turn around and go back down, the preacher covered the horse’s head. Moments later, the horse headed down the stairs and the preacher won the bet. Turns out, the blinders encouraged the horse to take chances it would not normally take.

From this point forward, imagine you are a racehorse. Put your blinders on and focus on not just the path in front of you, but also the finish line. Take others out of your line of vision and stop being someone you’re not. Give yourself permission to pursue your life, your path, and your destiny.

Find a quiet place to reflect on a few questions. Where do you want to be in five years? How do you plan to get there? What strengths and skills do you have to get to where you want to go? What is your purpose? Then make a plan. Draw a road map. Create a vision board. Develop attainable goals based on your plan. Find someone to hold you accountable to your goals and vision. Make adjustments as necessary along the way. Stay positive. Become your biggest fan. And then, just like the horse long ago, take a chance you would not normally take.

All of us are born with unique skills and talents. What prevents us from pursing those talents is the insecurities that arise when we compare ourselves to others. While mistakenly believing that others have everything we want and more, we become bogged down by goal-stopping statements like, “Life is unfair. Why does Joe get everything he wants?” Think about this. Maybe Joe’s destiny is different from yours. Perhaps you are here for another equally as important reason.

Today put your blinders on and find that reason.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living Her Passion, Chloe Tran, The Bánh Mì Shop

Chloe Tran

While growing up in Saigon, Vietnam, little Chloe Tran was already nurturing her passion for entrepreneurship. After her father purchased a color printer, Chloe began printing colorful posters and stickers of her favorite cartoon characters and selling them to her classmates for a lower price than those sold at local bookstores. Soon, Chloe started following recipes to teach herself to bake. She claims she was sneaky at first, but once her parents discovered she wasn’t trying to destroy the kitchen, they were supportive. While relying on her family’s toaster oven to bake her cakes and pastries, Chloe found inspiration within expensive cookbooks and began documenting and practicing new recipes several times a week. By the time she arrived in middle school, Chloe had graduated to not only selling key chains and stuffed animals from wholesale markets but also her baked goods and homemade crafts. It was then that she realized she had a natural talent for entrepreneurship and started dreaming of owning a business one day.

After moving to Nebraska in 2012 at age seventeen, Chloe decided not to attend culinary school and instead enrolled at the University of Nebraska Omaha where she is currently a senior majoring in Business Entrepreneurship and Management. Although she had planned to work for different food companies to gain experience and save money for her future business, an opportunity came her way while she was just a sophomore in college. After her family decided they wanted to invest in a small restaurant, Chloe stepped in to run the shop specializing in her favorite food and drink: Bánh Mì sandwiches and bubble tea. Today, The Bánh Mì Shop is a bustling business located in Bellevue, Nebraska, that employs around 12 and serves a Vietnamese style sandwich made with a light and crispy Vietnamese baguette, fresh mayonnaise, Vietnamese style hams, pickled carrot and daikon, cucumber, and cilantro. Chloe says, “When I opened the shop, I wanted to make the food and drinks as authentic as possible while serving them in a modern café-style environment. I think my business has attracted many customers because of its inviting set-up.”

Inside The Bánh Mì Shop

As a first-time business owner, Chloe admits that it was very scary at first. “I felt like I was walking through a foggy forest. It was a constant battle to learn what I needed, what I wanted, and what I could afford.” The most frightening aspect of her experience was watching the money her family invested leave her pocket every day, before the doors to the café ever opened. She says the limited financial support motivated her to make the business a success, especially because she didn’t have a backup plan. “Running a business feels like swimming against the current sometimes, especially during our first year,” she adds. Thankfully sound advice to keep moving forward provided her with encouragement during the challenging initial days as an official entrepreneur.

Chloe loves owning a business and the freedom that comes with it. Although the freedom is heavy with responsibilities and hard work, she says that she enjoys choosing how she wants her business to move forward, how she can contribute to the community, how she wants her employees treated, and what kind of leader she wants to be. Her support group includes staff and her boyfriend, Aaron, who has been her left hand because he handles tasks that she considers her weaknesses that allow her to be her own right hand and focus on her strengths.

Chloe has gained much from pursuing her passion. She has overcome her fears and realized that she is capable of contributing much more to the world than she originally believed. Today at age twenty-four, she describes her life as full. Although she knows there is still much to do and learn, she lives every day knowing that she is on the right track to doing her best and fulfilling her purpose.

When asked about the advice she would give someone ready to pursue their passion in life, Chloe quoted Winnie the Pooh, “I always get where I am going by walking away from where I’ve been.” She adds, “The smallest step toward your goal is still a step forward. If you believe in your dream, you can always pursue it. There is no passion better than the other; they simply benefit the world in different ways.”

Well said, Chloe.

For more about The Bánh Mì Shop, visit www.thebanhmis.com or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/thebanhmis.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

Chances are you’ve probably heard the quote by Benjamin Franklin, “There are two things certain in life: death and taxes.” Even though we know death is inevitable for all of us, it can still be morbid picturing the end of our life while asking ourselves, When I die, how do I want to be remembered? Yet, asking yourself that question from time-to-time can shine a light on your past, the current state of your life, and where you want to go in the future. In short, asking “How do I want to be remembered?” allows you to look inward, reflect on the experiences that have brought you to where you are now, and then envision how you want the rest of your life to play out.

So how do you begin contemplating the answer to such an introspective inquiry? First, sit in the moment. Focus on being present and removing all distractions. This time is just for you. Here are a few sample questions that may help begin the process:

•  What do I consider my successes in life?

• What are some of my failures and what did they teach me?

• What have been some of my most influential experiences to date?

• What do I see as my place or purpose?

• What one piece of advice would I give my children and/or grandchildren to take into the future?

Maybe you want to be remembered for your volunteer work helping the less fortunate. Perhaps you want to be remembered for your professional successes. Maybe you want to be remembered as a motivational speaker who inspired others with your story of perseverance through challenges. Perhaps you want to be remembered as a father who was always there for his children. Maybe you want to be known as the sister that everyone could count on, even those not connected to you genetically. Perhaps you want to be known as the person who made everyone laugh, even in their darkest moments. Maybe you want to be known as a mentor who provided encouragement to youth needing to believe in possibilities. Perhaps you want to be known as a politician who worked for all people, not just your constituents. Maybe you want to be remembered as the physician who stops his busy day for a moment to hold the hand of a patient having difficulty handling bad news.

Once you decide how you would like to be remembered, write it down. Length is not important. Be as concise or as lengthy as you feel necessary. This is just one example of a remembrance statement:

I want to be remembered as a kind friend, wife, mother, and trusted guide who provided hope to anyone who needed it, listened more than I talked, and helped others find humor in every situation. I want to be remembered for my ability to connect with everyone who crossed my path—for making them feel welcome and reminding them that we are all just doing our best and that it’s okay to make mistakes. Most of all, I want to be remembered as someone who loved, learned, and left the Earth a better place in the process.

It’s okay if the answer to this all-important question changes as you grow and develop personally. Life is always evolving and transforming, so why shouldn’t you? Once you have formulated your statement, hang it somewhere where you can view it on a daily basis. The power behind this statement will help guide you through the present moment and into a clearer future to become all you were meant to be.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.