How to Begin Creating Lasting Positive Change

How are you caring for yourself today?

Did this question make you stop and think about yourself for a change? Most of us tend to put others before ourselves (our boss, our children, our partner or our spouse). But what about you? What you are doing today to care for yourself? If you can’t think of one thing, then it’s definitely time to reexamine your life and your habits. It is not wrong to think of yourself first. In fact, it is healthy to think of yourself first.

Creating positive change in your life doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, dedication, and perseverance to determine the best path forward. Below is one practice, if relied on consistently, can transform your mindset and life.

Find gratitude for three things every day.

There are many positive benefits of implementing a consistent gratitude practice into each day.

According to the Mayo Clinic, the benefits of a daily gratitude practice can improve sleep, mood, and immunity. Being thankful can also decrease depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and risk of disease.

With such obvious amazing benefits, it’s hard to believe that so many do not make this practice an important part of their day.

This does not have to be a complicated practice, or one that you dread. This will become a more natural practice after you’ve been doing it for a while.

It doesn’t matter what time of day you find time to be thankful. Instead, find a time that works best for you and then focus on consistency. Your time might be first thing in the morning. Or for someone else, it might be right before going to sleep at night. Others might want to identify three things they’re thankful for during their lunch hour or when their children are taking a nap.

The things you find you are grateful for are often the simplest gifts life offers (and rarely material items). It might be someone who made you smile, or held a door open for you, or slowed down so you could merge into their lane. It might be your first sip of coffee in the morning, or a beautiful sunrise, or a hug from a friend, or a great review from your boss. It might be your past experiences for they helped you grow into who you are today. Everyone’s list is different, but equally as important and valuable to their mental health.

If you don’t want to keep a journal or notebook, then there are other ways to practice gratitude.

Keep a gratitude jar. Every day, write down three things you’re grateful for on a slip of paper and drop it into the jar. Whenever you need a boost, choose a paper from the jar and read it.

Find a memento and keep it with you every day. It might be a bracelet or necklace or a tiny rock in your pocket. When you touch it, silently say three things you are grateful for.

No matter which practice you choose, make it your own and then believe in its power to slowly transform your life and attitude. As Mary Davis once said, “The more grateful I am, the more beauty I see.” Are you ready to see more beauty?

Now I have one more ask of you today. Repeat this phrase three times either out loud or to yourself:

I have a blessed life.

Pay attention to how this makes you feel after you repeat it three times. It will bring you peace and the knowledge that life brings you exactly what you need … exactly when you need it.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

During the early part of 2019, a college admissions scandal involving several wealthy parents stole the headlines for months. These parents, while seemingly attempting to keep up with other parents, bought their way into prestigious and competitive colleges they wanted their children to attend. One of the rumors surrounding this story was that some of the parents attended parties, heard where other parents were sending their children, and then, fueled by the mistaken belief that in order to be accepted by their peers, they would have to do whatever it took—even if it was illegal—to ensure their children could attend the same schools. Imagine the pressure they must have felt to take such desperate measures.

Trying to keep up with others in life is exhausting. While constantly focusing on what others are doing rather than our own journeys, it allows us to escape our reality—good or bad—and turn the attention away from ourselves and what we need to change in order to attain what we want in life.

Race horses are often given blinders to keep their attention on what is ahead when galloping around a racecourse. It has been said that blinders were invented when a preacher placed a wager that his horse could walk both up and down the stairs in his house. The horse walked up the stairs just fine. But when the horse refused to turn around and go back down, the preacher covered the horse’s head. Moments later, the horse headed down the stairs and the preacher won the bet. Turns out, the blinders encouraged the horse to take chances it would not normally take.

From this point forward, imagine you are a racehorse. Put your blinders on and focus on not just the path in front of you, but also the finish line. Take others out of your line of vision and stop being someone you’re not. Give yourself permission to pursue your life, your path, and your destiny.

Find a quiet place to reflect on a few questions. Where do you want to be in five years? How do you plan to get there? What strengths and skills do you have to get to where you want to go? What is your purpose? Then make a plan. Draw a road map. Create a vision board. Develop attainable goals based on your plan. Find someone to hold you accountable to your goals and vision. Make adjustments as necessary along the way. Stay positive. Become your biggest fan. And then, just like the horse long ago, take a chance you would not normally take.

All of us are born with unique skills and talents. What prevents us from pursing those talents is the insecurities that arise when we compare ourselves to others. While mistakenly believing that others have everything we want and more, we become bogged down by goal-stopping statements like, “Life is unfair. Why does Joe get everything he wants?” Think about this. Maybe Joe’s destiny is different from yours. Perhaps you are here for another equally as important reason.

Today put your blinders on and find that reason.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.