Three Steps to Successfully Move Toward a Calling

The findings from a recent Gallup survey may not be a surprise to many of us: only 13% of employees worldwide are engaged in their jobs. It’s an eye-opening statistic that may prompt some of us to wonder whether we have all become robotic in our job duties, bored with the mundane, unappreciated by our superiors, or even more importantly, whether it is time to find our calling in life.

Stephen Hawking lived 55 years longer than expected after being diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease at age 21. It is well-known that Hawking loved creating scientific theories, solving complex problems, and teaching mathematics to enthusiastic students. He had truly found his calling. Could it be that pursuing our calling gives us a reason to wake up every day, even in the most challenging of circumstances? It’s an interesting theory that even Stephen Hawking might appreciate.

Finding a calling—a meaning for your life that fulfills a higher purpose—is probably the main request our persistent and sometimes loud inner voice makes on a regular basis. A calling or purpose is the one thing our souls, hearts, and minds regularly crave, and the one thing that keeps us going when all we want to do is give up. But finding a calling is not as easy as it sounds and often doesn’t happen as quickly as we’d like. It requires deep soul-searching, a roadmap for success, and an accountability partner who can help us identify a clear direction and then stay on track once we start a journey to achieve our dreams. So what can you do right now to successfully move toward your calling? Here are three steps that will get you on your way:

Step #1:

Transform your thinking and begin believing in yourself and your unique abilities.

Oftentimes, others believe in us more than we believe in ourselves. Breaking old thought patterns can be challenging. It requires consistent and positive self-talk that overrides negativity when it creeps in. When you notice the thoughts, gently say to yourself, “Stop, Look, and Listen.” Stop the thoughts. Look for the positive. Listen to your optimistic inner-voice. 

Step #2:

Remember that everything meaningful and important in life starts with three words: It is possible.

When you were a child, you may have thought you couldn’t ride a bike—until someone told you that you could. Now it’s up to you to tell yourself everything you need to know. Once you learn to replace the words, “I can’t do this,” with “It is possible,” you’ll be amazed at what you can do. Try it.

Step #3:

Embrace the fact that every sunrise offers the opportunity for a new beginning.

No matter what happened yesterday on your journey, today brings new opportunities, ideas, and adventures. You will never be able to move forward into the future if you are always looking behind you and admonishing yourself for the mistakes of your past. Embrace every second of right now. Breathe the air, watch the sunrise, and welcome the potential that every day brings.

Stephen Hawking defied seemingly insurmountable odds to leave an incredible mark on the world. He became a world-renowned theoretical physicist as well as a husband and father, despite his physical challenges. What do you think kept him going during the worst of times? His calling. Now go find yours.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients, both local and nationwide, to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Five Important Life Lessons I Learned from My First Job

I had just turned sixteen when I accepted a job as a server at Coco’s Famous Hamburgers restaurant. The now defunct restaurant chain had a loyal following of customers who wanted not just delicious food, but also outstanding service. Unfortunately, I was a tremendously shy teenager, not necessarily a good attribute for someone who had to greet hundreds of hungry strangers as part of her job duties.

Needless to say, my foray into waitressing was rough. Once my arms and hands were shaking so bad from nerves that I inadvertently dropped four plates of famous hamburgers right into the laps of four ravenous guests. Once I slipped on a puddle of water and fell, with a large sundae in each hand, straight onto the hard floor in front of a waiting line of customers. Fortunately I was desperate enough for money so I could put gas into my 1973 Chevrolet Bel-Air that I persevered through my first few weeks, all while managing to avoid being fired.

Throughout the next three years, I learned many valuable lessons that I carried forward into my career and life. Decades later, I still benefit from the below lessons that taught me much more about myself and life in general than I ever imagined:

1. Practice makes perfect. At first, I admit I wasn’t a great server. In fact, I was pretty darn bad. I made mistakes, dropped plates, and delivered food to the wrong table. Yet through it all, there was one thing I knew for sure: I could do that job if I just focused on being better, one day at a time. So I did and then one day, everything just clicked. I delivered piping hot food to the right tables, cranked out delicious malts from the malt machine, and kept my footing even on the wettest of floors

2. Never give up. There were times, especially in the beginning, when giving up was an attractive option. Being a server is one of the hardest, least appreciated professions. Still, I persevered through the bad days, all while keeping my focus on the good days. I learned new ways of doing things, kept looking forward, and developed great friendships with my co-workers. There was one thing I knew for sure: Quitting wasn’t an option because I was transforming my weaknesses into strengths every day.

3. Failure is part of success. I’ll never forget the night that a foursome came into the restaurant. They had a plane to catch and were in a hurry. They all ordered fried chicken, a dish that took 40 minutes to cook. I notified them of the wait. What I didn’t realize is that I had inadvertently left the ticket in my pocket and hadn’t submitted it to the cook. An hour later, the customers were livid, late for their plane, and I was in trouble. From that point forward, I always double-checked my pocket to ensure I hadn’t forgotten to submit an order. As I navigated through that failure and many later failures, there was one thing I knew for sure: We all make mistakes. What is important is to learn from them.

4. There are more good people than bad in the world. Being a teenager comes with lots of insecurities. Although I waited on a few customers who were angry and rude, I waited on many more who were kind and thoughtful. One morning, I waited on two guests who were quiet yet respectful. I didn’t think I did anything extraordinary. Yet when the guests finished their meal, they left me—a pretty dorky teenager at the time—a generous tip along with a handwritten note that said, “They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. If that is true, then you must have a beautiful soul.” That note touched me so much that I still have it today. From that moment on, there was one thing I knew for sure: It only takes a minute to positively impact someone’s life with kind words or a thoughtful gesture.

5. A smile goes a long way. A smile is a powerful tool. As a server, I held that power every time I put on my uniform and showed up for work. We all have bad days where we want to throw in the towel and live on a deserted island. Still, it doesn’t seem fair to transfer that momentary unhappiness onto a random stranger, does it? Throughout all the hundreds of days that I greeted and helped strangers fill their empty stomachs, there was one thing I knew for sure: Smiling provided happiness not just for me, but for everyone who crossed my path.

In reflecting on our first jobs and every job we have held since then, it can be enlightening to think about what important lessons we learned from each experience. In our lifetimes, some professional roles will be challenging, others will be easy, and some may prompt us to question every decision we have ever made. But if we focus on taking the positive lessons with us—the kind that help us grow professionally and personally—then it allows us to move forward and become better employees, managers, or entrepreneurs in the future.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Use Your Unique Gifts to Find Purpose

Everyone is born with an innate talent that makes them unique. Some people have the ability to be empathetic listeners. A few can listen to a song just once and then play it on the piano. Some can lead a company to achieve previously unimaginable success. Others can perform miracles in the operating room with tiny surgical instruments. Some have the talent for weaving a compelling tale that makes readers weep, laugh, or both. Truth be known, we are all gifted.

Imagine what would happen to the world if parents made it their mission to help their children identify their unique gifts and then find a way to utilize them to attain their purpose in life. No matter what your age, it is never too late to uncover your innate talents and then adjust your life accordingly. So, how does one identify a unique talent?

The easiest way to identify your innate talent is to think about what you are doing when you feel happiest in life – when you never look at the clock, never think about what you will have for dinner, and ignore your buzzing phone. For one person, it might be building a bookcase in the garage. For another, it may be swirling around a ballroom with a dance partner. For others, it might be singing opera, taking photographs, or designing a room in a home. For someone else, it may be helping others through a crisis. For another, it may be leading a team at work to surpass goals.

Once you have identified your innate talent, now it is time to create a plan to incorporate more of it into your life—and perhaps even parlay that talent into a career. Could you start a business where you design and build bookcases on demand for clients or stage homes before they are put on the market? Is it possible to network with the director of a nonprofit and find a way to work with those affected by natural disasters? Do you have the means to open your own studio to teach ballroom dancing, join an opera company, or begin a photography business?

To incorporate positive change into your life, transform your thinking and focus on using your gifts to attain personal fulfillment. As Howard Thurman once said, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

 Life is short. It’s time for you to come alive. The world is waiting.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.