Mindfulness Practice - Observing Your Life from a Different Perspective

Imagine that your superpower is the ability to fly. When you are ready, close your eyes and visualize yourself perched on the edge of a cliff. As the sun warms your face, spread your wings and slowly lift yourself into the air. Guided by your curiosity to know more, embrace the freedom that comes with soaring high above the earth with only the wind as your companion. Your goal of this special flight is to objectively observe your life from a different perspective.

As you soar over the road map of your life, what do you see?

All of our lives are filled with joyful times such as finding our true loves, witnessing our children enter the world, and fulfilling our dreams. These moments are the spa-like rest stops on our journey through life. Between all these wonderful stops is the winding, sometimes bumpy road that takes us from Point A to Point B, often without a rest stop for miles and miles or the ability to turn around and choose different endings. Yet it is during these challenging times that we are provided with the best opportunities to learn the most about ourselves, life, and those around us.

Where are you right now on your journey? Perhaps you are exactly where you want to be. Perhaps you have just realized it is time to detour off the main road and carve your own path through the wilderness to reach contentment. Wherever you see yourself on your journey, observe without judgment.

Now open your eyes. You have more control than you think over where your road map leads you from today forward.

Recognize. Believe. Act.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Mindfulness Practice - Letting Go

Imagine yourself standing on the bank of this beautiful mountain stream. Now close your eyes, listen to your heartbeat, and breathe deeply.

What do you need to let go of today that is no longer serving you?

Take this moment to contemplate what you can control in your life and what needs to be lifted off your shoulders. These burdens can be emotions such as anger or jealousy; an unnecessary need to be perfect; or worries about how others perceive you that hold you back from pursuing your dreams. Whatever your burdens are, decide which one is the heaviest. Now imagine yourself lifting that burden off your shoulders, placing it on a raft, bidding it farewell forever, and pushing it downstream and out of sight.

Continue to breathe deeply. When you are ready, open your eyes and welcome the new day as a freer, lighter person.

Practice daily to ensure that you are not carrying baggage you no longer need on your unique journey through life.

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
― Roy T. Bennett

Photograph by Vicky DeCoster, Sawtooth National Forest, July 2019

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

How to Step into Someone Else’s Shoes

Our world is facing new challenges. As it has been since the beginning of time, we all have our own unique and passionate opinions, viewpoints, and objectives on how to best move humanity forward into the future. Unfortunately because of these differences in how we see the world and our obstacles, many of us find ourselves unable to see or understand the perspectives of others around us. It’s a tough place to be because in order to move forward, we must be able to objectively and collaboratively work together to find a way. Perhaps the first step is to imagine ourselves as another. But this is a skill that requires discipline and practice to execute. So how do we do that?

“Never judge someone until you have walked a mile in his moccasins.”

Native American proverb

In following this idea, I recently stumbled on information about a wonderful non-profit organization while thumbing through a magazine. Since TED speaker, advocate for the broken-hearted, and blogger Hannah Brencher founded moreloveletters.com in 2011, her helper writers have sent 250,000+ letters to recipients facing a variety of personal challenges in 50 states, 73+ countries, and 100+ campuses. I was immediately intrigued. After signing up, I soon received my first email that described the nominated recipients needing to be lifted up by strangers.

Jared is a young man whose father figure died at a young age. His stepfather was often cruel to him. His family was often homeless. Yet despite his challenges, he cared for his sister by brushing her hair, taking her to parks, and making her dinner. Now he is finishing trade school and doing his best to be a good father to his first child. But Jared, who doesn’t often appreciate his accomplishments, needed encouragement, said his sister in her plea for love letters.

Moments later, I sat at my kitchen table with a pen in hand. I closed my eyes and imagined myself standing in Jared’s shoes. What was he feeling? Why was he feeling that way? What had brought him to this place in his life? What could I do to help him find his way? As I began writing in a note card I found tucked away in the desk my grandmother left me when she died, I somehow felt connected to Jared, even though we had never met. Our backgrounds were different. Our obstacles weren’t the same throughout our lifetime. Our emotions were unique to each of us. Still, fate had somehow led us to each other in that moment.

Despite our differences, I could feel his pain. I could relate to his grief for all he had never experienced and lost. I could understand his challenges. I could help him realize that he’s stronger than he ever imagined. I could give him the gift of knowing that there is someone else out in the world who wanted him to become the best version of himself, perhaps more than he wanted it right in that moment. And so I wrote.

As I stepped out of his shoes, stuffed the card into an envelope, and sent it off into the mail to Jared, I was reminded that this—this moment of understanding and unconditional love for all humankind—is what we all need to have as our luggage as we travel forward into the unknown.

Taking a moment to walk in someone else’s shoes can be a useful tool in a business setting, with friends and family, and even during passionate conversations with strangers who may not believe the same things we do. When we listen with empathy to understand the challenges and viewpoints of others, it helps us open our hearts to the possibilities of what can be if we can work together for the betterment of humanity overall.

It’s that simple. Now go forth and spread your love, empathy, and appreciation for your fellow humans. Someone needs you to walk in their shoes right now.

To become a volunteer writer or to nominate a person in need of a love letter, visit moreloveletters.com.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

The Gifts in Silence

We’re all living within a world where being busy has oftentimes turned into a competition. We run our children from one event to the next while eating a dinner we really don’t take the time to taste. We race home after work to throw loads of laundry in the wash, never stopping to inhale the scent of fresh clothes after we pull them out of the dryer. When a friend wants to talk, we might view that conversation as just another item to check off our to-do list rather than making a point to listen intently. As we race from one place to the next, feeling frazzled every step of the way, we may eventually realize that being busy is filling only our calendars, not our hearts and souls.

What if being busy all the time is not the best companion for contentment?

As we face the current crisis that has enveloped our world, we are now forced to deal with what many of us view as the most terrifying consequence of this moment in time: silence. Despite our fears of what might come with the overwhelming quiet associated with social distancing, there are many gifts that also come with silence. Remember when you learned the important rule to successfully crossing the street by yourself for the first time? Now is the time to stop, look, and listen.

“Listen to silence. It has so much to say.”

—Rumi

With this unplanned silence comes gifts. The gift of learning. The gift of unconditional love. The gift of a short commute or a commute with less traffic. The gift of sunshine. The gift of fresh, clean air. The gift of the sounds of nature. The gift of meditation and prayer. The gift of good books that help us leave our troubles behind, even if for a short time. The gift of technology that allows us to stay connected. The gift of the truth. The gift of positivity, even in dark times. The gift of hope.

“The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.”

—Albert Einstein

Most importantly, this silence provides us with the gift of time. Time to think. Time to believe. Time to volunteer. Time to be creative. Time to contemplate where we want to go next. Time to reflect on where we’ve been so far. Time to wonder, dream, and share our talents with the world. Time to set goals. Time to write or journal. Time to just BE.

Take a deep breath. Now imagine yourself letting go of all your worries while floating on a leaf downstream. As the current carries you to places unknown, notice all the gifts that line the banks of the stream. A hug from a family member. A smile from a stranger. A phone call from a friend. An opportunity to stop, look, and listen to what your heart wants and needs, not what your schedule demands of you.

All these wonderful gifts are there, just for you. All you have to do is open your eyes to see them.

“Through the portals of silence, the healing sun of wisdom and peace will shine upon you.”

—Paramahansa Yogananda

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Replacing Fear with Gratitude

Fear is one of those emotions that lurks in the shadows, just waiting to make itself known, especially during uncertain times. Unfortunately, fear is a powerful emotion with the potential to be unrelenting and all-consuming. Sometimes it may seem like fear is like a heavy curtain that covers the window to hope and possibilities. But what if there was a way to replace this all-consuming emotion with another one that helps us move our thought processes in a more positive direction?

What if we could replace fear with gratitude?

Replacing fear with gratitude is a practice that takes immense self-control and a willingness to let go of old behaviors. Plutarch once said, “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” What are you willing to change internally to implement this practice into every day and ultimately transform your reality?

Let’s pretend for a minute that you are feeling fearful about the current state of the economy, the health of your family, or your job. As a result, you may have a variety of thoughts dancing in and out of your mind—all that imagine the future with a negative outcome. When your mind begins to fill itself with these thoughts, whether you like it or not, you hold the power to transform those thoughts into moments of gratitude.

Stop and contemplate what you have, not what you don’t have. Do you have clean water? A warm bed? Some food in the cupboards? A friend to call? Someone who still believes in you despite all your silly mistakes? Do you have a talent that keeps you going during tough times like creating beautiful art?

Once you think of three things you currently have in your life that you are grateful for, write them down. These things don’t have to be complicated or material. They are simple gifts that you have taken for granted—until now. Now look at the list. Breathe in and out, slowly. You are grateful. You are alive. You are part of humanity. You are part of this big, complicated world that is sometimes challenging. Most importantly, you are the one who chooses how you want to be and how you want to move forward.

The Roman philosopher Senaca said, “Count each day as a separate life.” In following his wise advice, you can:

Be a friend to yourself and others.

Be a helper.

Be an inspiration.

Be a light in the world.

And above all …

Be grateful.

When counting every moment of this day as a separate gift that holds possibilities of a better tomorrow, we can replace fear with gratitude and, in turn, create a new beginning with every sunrise.

We will get through this together.

To learn more about the practice of gratitude, I invite you to watch this inspiring video.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living Her Passion - Meg Frideres

Meg Frideres teaching mindfulness to Pre-K students and members of the Nevada High School varsity basketball team.

Meg Frideres, a natural-born helper, was influenced in her career choice by two people. The first was a high school teacher who was quite nice, but not effective in his work. The second, was her grandmother, Lillian, an educator and lifelong learner who climbed the pyramids of Egypt at age seventy-five. While on a journey to decide what profession to pursue, Meg’s first choice was not teaching. First, she pursued international relations, followed by a short stint taking pre-med courses, and finally to become an educator. “I loved the cultural aspects of international relations and wanted to make the world a better place,” she explained. “Being a doctor would have allowed me to care for others, but the pre-med curriculum was just not for me. Teaching allowed me to bring both of my loves together.”

To date, Meg has been teaching for twenty-seven years. But her initial path to teaching was lined with more obstacles than she originally imagined. After graduating from the University of Iowa, Meg soon discovered there were no social studies teaching positions open. As a result, she stepped into a role as Religious Education Director and Youth Minister for grades 6-12 at St. Thomas More in Iowa City. When she and her husband, Mark, moved to Davenport, Iowa, so he could attend Palmer College of Chiropractic, she eventually landed a position as a religious teacher and campus minister at Assumption High School. When Mark graduated, they moved to Nevada, Iowa, where he opened his chiropractic practice and she became a social studies teacher at Nevada High School.

Meg soon realized that teaching is all about building relationships, and quickly grew to love the fact that she was able to travel with teenagers, even for just a short time, on their life journeys. “It’s amazing to hear their stories and help young people realize more of their potential,” she added. “While I think content is important, I also believe it is secondary to modeling healthy relationships, being a good listener of the story, and believing in young people. They flourish if they have those things.”

Five years ago after Meg’s school district qualified for the Teacher Leadership Compensation Program, she was offered the opportunity to teach students part of the time, coach teachers in their professional development the rest of the time, and also travel around the district as a mindfulness coach. Although she was incorporating some mindfulness techniques into her daily classroom plans, Meg had no idea of its impact until a student shared that the mindfulness practice helped calm her nerves before a presentation. Meg said, “I knew I wanted to learn more, so the following year, I chose mindfulness in education as my focus in my professional development plan. I read a lot that summer and took my first course from Mindful Schools, a nonprofit that trains educators to revolutionize today’s learning environments. It just blossomed from there.”

Meg leading Nevada Public School system students in mindfulness exercises.

After offering a professional development session for teachers in her district, Meg was invited into different classrooms to help students practice mindfulness. She currently works with students from Early Kindergarten through 12th grade, and also coaches mindfulness to three of the high school sports teams. In elementary classrooms, she conducts an eight-week program that includes visits once a week for 20 minutes. She teaches mindfulness practices (called superpowers) that teachers practice with the students. She teaches students how to mindfully sit, listen, and breathe, and then moves on to using mindful movements to deal with emotions, set daily intentions, and perform acts of kindness and gratitude. At the middle school and high school levels, her visits are more specific to dealing with issues like stage fright or helping focus attention while writing papers.

Inspired by her faith and supported by her husband, Meg has decided to pursue a national certification through Mindful Schools and will begin classes in August 2020. Meg stated, “I hope to work with as many teachers, students, and coaches as possible because mindfulness empowers people to enjoy the moment, think positive, and let go of self-judgment. Mindfulness allows us to be happier and healthier people.”

Raising children in today’s chaotic world can often be challenging. Meg advises parents to unconditionally love their children, instill boundaries, listen more than you talk, apologize when you are wrong, and let them know you are in their corner. She also offers sage advice to those who want to pursue their passion in life. “Don’t kid yourself. It can be scary and sometimes you second-guess yourself, but nothing beats the feeling of realizing your potential and how you can positively impact people. I was not born a risk taker, but I have learned that some things are worth the risk.”

Meg added that her students remind her all the time how blessed she is to be a part of their lives. “There are no words to explain the significance of being able to walk beside them for part of their life journey.”

Perhaps her students would agree that they are the ones who are blessed as they learn valuable mindfulness techniques from her that will help them gracefully face challenges, obstacles, and fears for the rest of their lives.

For more about Mindful Schools and their programs, visit https://www.mindfulschools.org/. To contact Meg directly with questions about mindfulness practices in the classroom, email her at: mfrideres@nevadacubs.org.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Is Grit the Secret to Success?

Pioneers relied on it while making the two-thousand-mile journey from Missouri to Oregon during the Great Emigration. Athletes have relied on it to finish marathons, break records, win the Super Bowl, participate in the Olympics, and accomplish more than they ever imagined on the field of play. Business executives have also been known to rely on it to carry a company and its employees through challenging economic times. And yes, even ordinary people rely on it to persevere through obstacles, attain professional success, and overcome fears.

IT is GRIT, and it is a necessary trait for anyone who wants to realize their best life.

Grit is defined by Merriam Webster’s dictionary as a firmness of mind or spirit and unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger. When life presents challenges that initially seem too difficult to overcome, sometimes despite our best efforts, we may find it easier to go into the fetal position, close our eyes, and hope that someone wakes us when it is over. During these times, we may wonder if it is really possible to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and find the grit deep within to help us fight our greatest battles and somehow come out a better person in the end.

It is possible. In fact, the letters G, R, I, and T can be transformed into words that are easy to remember and that have the power to help carry us through the toughest of times:

Goals. People who rely on grit to persevere through life’s greatest challenges set goals on a regular basis. Not only do they set goals, they often have someone hold them accountable to achieving them. Their goals are clear, achievable, and broken down into realistic action steps that take them in new directions. Gritty people realize that goals push us out of our comfort zones and into the realm of possibilities. Most importantly, goals help us follow through with the promise we have made to ourselves to create our best life.

Resolve. When facing challenges, in life, pretend you are a rock climber standing before a giant boulder. You want more than anything to safely get to the top. So, how do you do it? Plan your route and then slowly make your way, one calculated move at a time. Be open to potential changes in your route. Focus on your destination while enjoying the journey. Be strong. Be proud of yourself every time you move forward.

Intuition. Our gut is a powerful companion in our lives. Unfortunately most of us never listen to it. Or if we hear it, we try to quiet the inner-voice by believing it is wrong. When creating a path forward, allow yourself time to reflect to discern whether your feelings are fear-based or whether you really have a bad feeling about your new direction. People who rely on grit to move through obstacles also trust their intuition to guide and protect them.

Tenacious. In today’s competitive world, persistence is key to success. Learn. Be open to new ideas. Be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses. Do not be deterred from achieving your goals if they are realistically attainable. Revise your plan if need be. Wake up every morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and give yourself a pep talk. Gritty people know how to motivate themselves when no one else is doing it for them. Don’t give up.

Goals. Resolve. Intuition. Tenacious.

The next time you’re facing a challenge, remember it is GRIT that leads us straight over obstacles and into our best lives.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. If you’d like to set up a 15-minute discovery call to learn more about the coaching process, reach out today via the contact page at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Are You Ready to Let Go?

Letting go of the things that do not serve us in life can be a challenging task. Letting go can be frightening because it means we are forcing ourselves to face a new reality without a burden that sometimes unwittingly becomes an excuse for not stretching ourselves and finding a new, better place in the world. It might be letting go of an unfulfilling job. It might be letting go of a loveless marriage. It might be letting go of a long-held dream.

Today I’m going to share a deeply personal story about one valuable experience in my life that demonstrated the importance of recognizing the right time to let go and then witnessing the miracle that occurs when we finally do.

After the birth of my son, my husband and I decided we wanted another child. Once I realized I was pregnant again, I embarked on a similar journey through a variety of typical symptoms like morning sickness, aversions to certain foods, and exhaustion. Despite my best efforts to maintain a healthy pregnancy, I lost the baby after thirteen weeks. The date was February 9. I was devastated. Day after day, month after month, I felt lost in a web of overwhelming grief. It seemed like all I did was cry and feel jealous of other women who seemingly moved through their pregnancies effortlessly.

After a short time, we once again attempted to build our family. Meanwhile, when my hairdresser told me she was thinking about adopting a child from China, I listened, smiled, and offered encouragement. When it seemed our efforts to add to our family were failing, I had a dream that our lost baby was floating above my bed, dressed in a beautiful white gown. She smiled at me and I smiled back. After a few minutes, she disappeared and I awakened, wondering about the significance of the dream. When I told a trusted friend about my dream, she gently said, “Maybe the dream was your sign that it’s time to let go of your grief. Maybe your baby came to you to tell you she is okay.”

Suddenly, I realized that I had control over what I let go of in my life. By letting my grief go, I was not forgetting about my beautiful child. Instead, I was allowing myself to move forward, embrace a new reality, and contemplate other options. In that moment, I felt lighter and freer than I had in months. After giving myself permission to let go, I walked through a door of possibilities that led me to a miracle I never expected.

A short time later, I stopped all attempts to become pregnant. I felt drawn toward a different option and began researching the international adoption process (ironically, my hairdresser never ended up adopting from China). Nine months later, I stood in the airport terminal, holding my gorgeous, four-month-old daughter in my arms for the first time. She was born in Korea and also in my heart, and delivered to me by a selfless, young Korean volunteer who completed a twenty-two-hour flight with my daughter and then cried while watching me kiss her chubby cheeks. Today that baby has transformed into a new college graduate ready to tackle the world on her own. If you don’t believe in miracles yet, you may now. Her birthday is February 6, which is the date of my miscarriage simply turned upside down.

I often wonder how my journey would have turned out had I not given myself permission to let go of my grief, invite myself to explore unimaginable possibilities, and then press forward into a scary yet exciting new beginning. All I know is that I’m so glad that a chain of events unfolded in front of me that allowed me a chance to reflect on where I’d been, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted for myself from that point forward—and, most of all, that a trusted friend took my hand and led me down a path out of the darkness of grief and into the light of healing and new beginnings.

Today I am giving you permission to let go of one thing that doesn’t serve you anymore. It might be scary. It might feel daunting. It might be the most challenging thing you’ve ever done. But if you succeed, I promise you will be a better person for releasing it because when you do, you’ll be making room for all the miracles that are waiting for you.

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.

If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”

―Roy T. Bennett

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living Her Passion - Ashley Spitsnogle

Ashley Spitsnogle painting “live” at the 2018 Heartfelt Gala in Nebraska.

While growing up in a small farming community in Odell, Nebraska, Ashley Spitsnogle loved drawing horses and mermaids. After her life’s journey led her to attend and then graduate from Doane University in Crete, Ashley studied at Studio Arts College International in Florence, Italy, for a month where she focused on painting and drawing. When returning to the States, Ashley decided she wanted to do whatever it took to become a professional artist.

Her first professional project was illustrating the children’s book, Josh the Baby Otter, for the Joshua Collingsworth Memorial Foundation whose mission is to create awareness about water safety. Since then, she has traveled throughout the nation on behalf of the Foundation, partnering with numerous organizations including Rotary International and the Michael Phelps Foundation to prevent drowning accidents. Today, Ashley stay very busy commissioning diverse art for clients that includes Husker prints, abstract pieces, and paintings of cattle, horses, and landscapes. Additionally, she hosts art shows and paints live at events that include the Cattleman’s Ball of Nebraska, Teammates Mentoring, the Lied Center, Heartfelt Ball, Nebraska Bar Association, Farm Credit Services of America, and many others.

When creating her art, Ashley often develops a composition in Photoshop first, so she can gather an idea of how it will look on canvas in different ways. After her process leads her to utilizing charcoal on the canvas to lay out the shapes for the painting, Ashley then layers in blocks of color and adds the details as the final step. In order to demonstrate her process, Ashley has produced numerous, fascinating time-lapse videos that detail the beginning to end stages of a painting. She adds, “Painting live is like a performance. As long as I am overly prepared, I become hyper-focused and just start painting. Generally, I give myself four hours to complete a painting on a three-foot by four-foot canvas, so it’s large enough for people to see from a distance.”

Ashley, who has always been a big Husker fan, became licensed through the University of Nebraska to commission her artwork three years ago after she painted a Brook Berringer and Tom Osborne painting live at a Teammates mentoring event. After Coach Osborne signed the painting, she posted it on Facebook, prompting many to reach out including Brook’s family and friends. The following year, Ashley painted “Last Tunnel Walk” live at a Heartfelt Incorporated event for families who have lost children. The painting, approved beforehand by both Sam Foltz’s and Brook Berringer’s families, shows Brook and Sam walking into the light with Brook’s hand on Sam’s shoulder, as if to lead and comfort him. After the painting was auctioned off, Sharon Dickinson (the president of Heartfelt Incorporated), Jill and Gerald Foltz, and Ashley and her family delivered two prints to Bill Moos and Matt Davison at the University. Today, the prints hang in Memorial Stadium. Ashley adds, “I am honored the painting has touched people, as both guys are still making a lasting influence and impression on others.” Additionally, her painting of Coach Scott Frost made the cover of the Husker Sports Fall Guide, of which over 60,000 copies were distributed. Recently, Big Red Wrap Up and other news stations have featured stories on her Husker art.

Ashley’s artistic portrayal of Brook Berringer and Sam Foltz

The best piece of advice Ashley received when she decided to become a professional artist was to never give up and undervalue herself. She loves having a work space in Main Street Studios and Art Gallery in Omaha, among other artists who inspire her daily. When she is not painting approximately four to five hours daily, she works on a regular basis with the Joshua Collingsworth Memorial Foundation, illustrating and helping with the publication of magazines and brochures. Her art is currently displayed in Lincoln at Venue Restaurant & Lounge, Scheels, Main Street Studios and Art Gallery, Husker Hounds, and Revitalift in Lincoln.

“Nebraska Strong”, painted by Ashley at the Cattleman’s Ball to portray the hay being brought to farmers after the historic floods of 2019.

Ashley has gained much from pursuing her passion. “I am excited to wake up each day and get to work,” she says. “I also have the freedom to travel and enjoy the fact that no two days are alike.” For anyone who wants to pursue their own passion in life, Ashley advises, “When you don’t dread going to work every day, it is worth every sleepless night and stress. I don’t know what kind of person I would be if I didn’t pursue my passion. You only live once, so you might as well enjoy what you do.”

Edgar Degas once said, “Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.” Every time Ashley stands in front of a canvas and begins another creation, she helps all of us see the beauty in our beloved football team, the Nebraska landscape, and life itself.

To read more about Ashley or to purchase one of her pieces, visit ashleyspitsnogle.com.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

What Are You Doing to Pay It Forward?

A recent magazine article profiled a woman who, after turning eighty, decided to celebrate her birthday in a different way. Inspired by a friend who decades earlier gifted a mutual acquaintance with twenty-one roses on her twenty-first birthday, the woman began contemplating how she could pay it forward and help others—all while rejoicing in her long life. As she started to pull together a plan to hand-deliver eighty dollars to eighty friends and relatives, ask them to gift it to someone in need, and then send her a note to tell her about the experience, the woman had no idea of the positive impact her plan would have not just on the world, but also on her. As the notes detailing one amazing experience after another started to fill her mailbox, the woman soon realized that even the smallest of gestures have the power to spread monumental joy. Her most important takeaway lesson was that in her efforts to help and lift others, her life was forever changed as well.

We all know that life is not easy. It is full of just as much heartache as joy and just as many challenges as effortless tasks. When we are able to detach from the unhelpful practice of comparing ourselves to others, we also know deep inside that none of us are better than anyone else. We are all here to love, learn, struggle, and celebrate. No matter how much money we have in our bank accounts, we are all exiting this life the same way. Wherever we reside in the world, we are more alike than we imagine.

Every morning when we awaken to begin a new day, we are presented with the opportunity to transform the world around us with kindness. Paying it forward doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. It can be as simple as buying a cup of coffee for a friend or stranger, inviting a widowed neighbor to dinner, offering a genuine hug to someone who is suffering, taking in the neighbor’s trash can on a windy day, writing a thank-you note to a friend or co-worker who picked up the lunch tab, whispering encouragement to a young adult struggling to find himself or herself, or apologizing to someone for being impatient, rude, or angry during a time when portraying a calm presence would have been a better choice.

In paying it forward, we are not only reminding others of the importance of kind gestures, but also ourselves. While it is easy to become caught up in the busyness of life, it is also just as easy to slow down, take a look around, and realize that someone needs you right now. That someone may be a stranger, a client, your company’s CEO, or someone you love more than anything.

To transform your thinking toward paying it forward as often as possible, remember the three words you learned when crossing the street for the first time: Stop. Look. Listen. Someone needs hope. Someone needs encouragement. Someone needs love. Someone needs to know that in the midst of navigating this often-challenging life, there is light.

In the act of gifting someone with a tiny moment of joy in this imperfect existence we call life, you give yourself the greatest gift of all: the knowledge that we are all in this together.

Make a difference.

“A purposeful act or extension of kindness to another is never wasted, for it always resides in the hearts of all involved in a chain of love.”

―Molly Friedenfeld

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.