Letting go of the things that do not serve us in life can be a challenging task. Letting go can be frightening because it means we are forcing ourselves to face a new reality without a burden that sometimes unwittingly becomes an excuse for not stretching ourselves and finding a new, better place in the world. It might be letting go of an unfulfilling job. It might be letting go of a loveless marriage. It might be letting go of a long-held dream.
Today I’m going to share a deeply personal story about one valuable experience in my life that demonstrated the importance of recognizing the right time to let go and then witnessing the miracle that occurs when we finally do.
After the birth of my son, my husband and I decided we wanted another child. Once I realized I was pregnant again, I embarked on a similar journey through a variety of typical symptoms like morning sickness, aversions to certain foods, and exhaustion. Despite my best efforts to maintain a healthy pregnancy, I lost the baby after thirteen weeks. The date was February 9. I was devastated. Day after day, month after month, I felt lost in a web of overwhelming grief. It seemed like all I did was cry and feel jealous of other women who seemingly moved through their pregnancies effortlessly.
After a short time, we once again attempted to build our family. Meanwhile, when my hairdresser told me she was thinking about adopting a child from China, I listened, smiled, and offered encouragement. When it seemed our efforts to add to our family were failing, I had a dream that our lost baby was floating above my bed, dressed in a beautiful white gown. She smiled at me and I smiled back. After a few minutes, she disappeared and I awakened, wondering about the significance of the dream. When I told a trusted friend about my dream, she gently said, “Maybe the dream was your sign that it’s time to let go of your grief. Maybe your baby came to you to tell you she is okay.”
Suddenly, I realized that I had control over what I let go of in my life. By letting my grief go, I was not forgetting about my beautiful child. Instead, I was allowing myself to move forward, embrace a new reality, and contemplate other options. In that moment, I felt lighter and freer than I had in months. After giving myself permission to let go, I walked through a door of possibilities that led me to a miracle I never expected.
A short time later, I stopped all attempts to become pregnant. I felt drawn toward a different option and began researching the international adoption process (ironically, my hairdresser never ended up adopting from China). Nine months later, I stood in the airport terminal, holding my gorgeous, four-month-old daughter in my arms for the first time. She was born in Korea and also in my heart, and delivered to me by a selfless, young Korean volunteer who completed a twenty-two-hour flight with my daughter and then cried while watching me kiss her chubby cheeks. Today that baby has transformed into a new college graduate ready to tackle the world on her own. If you don’t believe in miracles yet, you may now. Her birthday is February 6, which is the date of my miscarriage simply turned upside down.
I often wonder how my journey would have turned out had I not given myself permission to let go of my grief, invite myself to explore unimaginable possibilities, and then press forward into a scary yet exciting new beginning. All I know is that I’m so glad that a chain of events unfolded in front of me that allowed me a chance to reflect on where I’d been, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted for myself from that point forward—and, most of all, that a trusted friend took my hand and led me down a path out of the darkness of grief and into the light of healing and new beginnings.
Today I am giving you permission to let go of one thing that doesn’t serve you anymore. It might be scary. It might feel daunting. It might be the most challenging thing you’ve ever done. But if you succeed, I promise you will be a better person for releasing it because when you do, you’ll be making room for all the miracles that are waiting for you.
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.
If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
―Roy T. Bennett
Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.
