Living Her Passion – Dorothy Mielke

Dot Mielke hard at work sewing another mask.

Although Dorothy (Dot) Mielke has never experienced a pandemic like COVID-19, she did live through the scourge of the polio epidemic. Just before her second birthday in 1942, Dot, along with her three sisters, contracted polio. “While we were quarantined in the house, my dad was harvesting wheat in South Dakota,” said Dot. “They got word to him, but he couldn’t come home because he wasn’t allowed in the house.” Her mother was helped daily by a nurse and people in the community gifted the children with many toys. When the fever finally broke, all of Dot’s toys had to be burned except for one doll her mother set aside for her. Until the early 1950s when a polio vaccine was finally developed, Dot remembers not being able to congregate or swim in public pools, and the general anxiety surrounding the fears of contracting the virus. Unfortunately, the virus left Dot unable to walk without assistance again. Still, that did not stop her from living a full life, thanks to the mentorship and guidance from her father and greatest advocate. In a time when many people with disabilities were institutionalized, her father made her crutches and a ramp with rails so she could practice walking on her own—all while encouraging her to believe in her ability to persevere.

While growing up in Hastings, Nebraska, Dot learned to sew from her mother. “In that day and age if you knew how to sew, it saved money,” Dot added. The first thing she sewed with pride was a gathered skirt, a fashionable item in that era. After Dot matured into young adulthood, she learned to view herself without a disability, married, sewed clothes for her children, and eventually earned a degree in Special Education. When her battles with post-polio and carpal tunnel syndromes forced her to retire after nineteen years as a secondary special education teacher in the Omaha Public School system, Dot began sewing clothes and costumes for her grandchildren, and creating beautiful dance costumes for youth in the Omaha community. She hadn’t sewn for the past three years—until a new pandemic emerged on the horizon.

Just before Easter, a now seventy-nine-year-old Dot retrieved her sewing machine from storage and began creating masks. “I thought that since I had all this leftover material from sewing Halloween and dance costumes years ago, I might as well utilize it for good and sew masks for my family members,” she stated. Dot then conducted extensive research online on pattern development, filter options, and sewing supply availability and eventually decided that a triple layer of washable fabric, with an included pocket to insert a Scott’s shop rag, would provide the most protection. Her biggest challenge since then has been sourcing elastic and shop rags. Once her granddaughter, Gabby, began delivering the masks to family and sharing photos of the masks on social media, the positive responses were plentiful.

Dot utilizes many colorful fabrics for the masks she creates.

As Dot started feeling good about herself and her new purpose, she used her stimulus check to purchase more elastic, shop rags, and new cotton fabric she thought would bring a smile to people’s faces—even if they couldn’t be seen behind their masks. It makes her smile when she receives grateful messages and gifts from the recipients of her masks. “It’s the little things that mean so much more than money,” she added. Making the masks has rejuvenated Dot. Although her hands are numb on most days, Dot has sewn over 150 masks to date. She encourages her recipients to wash her masks between each use, so they stay sanitary and offer the best protection all around.

Today, she finds herself busier than ever, serving a new purpose that fills a need in her community. Her new mantra is, “Saving the world, one face at a time.” Dot takes special orders for masks every week, and continues to sew masks for adults and children, even when orders are low, knowing that soon school will be back in session and events will be re-scheduled. When asked what advice she would offer someone struggling with a disability, Dot encourages others to, “Just be you. I ask people to try to see me as I see me, not with a disability but just as Dot.” Although she is quite content with her life, Dot admitted that just for one day, she would like to stand on her tiptoes and be like one of the young dancers she once sewed costumes for.

Completed masks ready for her many recipients.

When reflecting on the pandemic and ways to cope, Dot urges people to use common sense, listen to advice from medical professionals, and not to believe everything they hear and read. Her own tactics include avoiding the news, binging on good television shows, and doing things that make her happy. As her life comes full circle and Dot is provided an opportunity to reassure all of us that this too shall pass, just like the polio epidemic, she gently reminds us of the importance of always being good stewards for others, no matter what the circumstances or challenges.

To place an order for a mask or masks, reach out to Dot at dotmasks@gmail.com.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

The Art of Self-Discipline: The Secret to Success

When I was in first grade, my mother enrolled me in piano lessons. Every day after school, I was expected to practice my scales. I hated practicing scales more than anything, but knew that if I completed that dreaded task every afternoon, I would be allowed to play outside with my friends. Anyone who heard me playing those scales—including me—knew I would never be the stand-out star of the annual recital or a concert pianist. Still, I now understand the motivation behind my mother’s resolve to ensure I rehearsed every day. While I was learning to read and play music, she was teaching me the art of self-discipline through a daily practice.

“Motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you going.” John C. Maxwell

Throughout your lifetime, you will come up with ideas you believe are innovative, attainable, and even impressive to those around you. As the excitement builds around each idea, you may share it with trusted friends or family members; document related goals; and begin creating a plan forward that you think will turn that idea into a reality. But then just as you’re happily barreling down the highway of possibilities, you suddenly notice that your journey is more challenging than you imagined. As you come to a screeching halt, your motivation wanes as self-doubt creeps in, leaving you feeling vulnerable, discouraged, and perhaps ready to throw in the towel.

This moment is when great leaders take notice because vulnerability like this has the potential to be transformative and promote positive change. What every great leader knows is that in this very moment, they hold the power to move forward, for this moment is when self-discipline kicks in and leads them past the possibilities and into a fulfilling reality.

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.” Jim Rohn

Practicing self-discipline requires action. In this moment, you must now move from being simply a talker into being a doer by turning bad habits into disciplined daily actions that take you, one step at a time, toward fulfilling your dreams. Whether your goal is to run a marathon, start or grow a business, find a more satisfying career path, or even become the concert pianist I will never be, now is the time to implement daily, disciplined practices that will get you to where you want to go.

Today, begin assessing the daily habits that are currently holding you back from transforming your idea into reality and replace them with actions that will lead you through the discouraging and vulnerable moments to the life-changing realization that it is you who controls the outcome of every idea and, better yet, your overall destiny.

Your vision of success is waiting. Self-discipline is what will get you there.

“Without self-discipline, success is impossible, period.” Lou Holtz

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

The Gifts in Silence

We’re all living within a world where being busy has oftentimes turned into a competition. We run our children from one event to the next while eating a dinner we really don’t take the time to taste. We race home after work to throw loads of laundry in the wash, never stopping to inhale the scent of fresh clothes after we pull them out of the dryer. When a friend wants to talk, we might view that conversation as just another item to check off our to-do list rather than making a point to listen intently. As we race from one place to the next, feeling frazzled every step of the way, we may eventually realize that being busy is filling only our calendars, not our hearts and souls.

What if being busy all the time is not the best companion for contentment?

As we face the current crisis that has enveloped our world, we are now forced to deal with what many of us view as the most terrifying consequence of this moment in time: silence. Despite our fears of what might come with the overwhelming quiet associated with social distancing, there are many gifts that also come with silence. Remember when you learned the important rule to successfully crossing the street by yourself for the first time? Now is the time to stop, look, and listen.

“Listen to silence. It has so much to say.”

—Rumi

With this unplanned silence comes gifts. The gift of learning. The gift of unconditional love. The gift of a short commute or a commute with less traffic. The gift of sunshine. The gift of fresh, clean air. The gift of the sounds of nature. The gift of meditation and prayer. The gift of good books that help us leave our troubles behind, even if for a short time. The gift of technology that allows us to stay connected. The gift of the truth. The gift of positivity, even in dark times. The gift of hope.

“The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind.”

—Albert Einstein

Most importantly, this silence provides us with the gift of time. Time to think. Time to believe. Time to volunteer. Time to be creative. Time to contemplate where we want to go next. Time to reflect on where we’ve been so far. Time to wonder, dream, and share our talents with the world. Time to set goals. Time to write or journal. Time to just BE.

Take a deep breath. Now imagine yourself letting go of all your worries while floating on a leaf downstream. As the current carries you to places unknown, notice all the gifts that line the banks of the stream. A hug from a family member. A smile from a stranger. A phone call from a friend. An opportunity to stop, look, and listen to what your heart wants and needs, not what your schedule demands of you.

All these wonderful gifts are there, just for you. All you have to do is open your eyes to see them.

“Through the portals of silence, the healing sun of wisdom and peace will shine upon you.”

—Paramahansa Yogananda

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living His Passion – Nic Bianchi, Bianchi Candle Company

Nic Bianchi, Bianchi Candle Company, with a few of his products.

When most fourth graders were mastering multiplication and division problems, Nic Bianchi was busy designing a logo for his future business. After creating leather and wood products in an effort to satisfy his hunger for all things entrepreneurial, Nic moved into fifth grade where he developed a catalog, hired two sales reps, and began selling used Oriental Trading toys at recess. “I knew I wanted to do something big,” Nic says. But everything changed in 2014 when he received a candle making kit for his twelfth birthday. Nic, who was now a sixth grader, began making candles with his father that night. A self-professed lover of science and math, Nic was immediately hooked on the process of creating the best, all natural soy candle in the industry. A short time later, Bianchi Candle Company was officially in business.

Boosted by advice from his sixth-grade teacher who told him that no matter how bad things might become in life to always hold his head high, Nic sold his first candles in a local boutique in 2014 and created an LLC. By 2017, he had increased his presence in the marketplace and launched a fundraising division. In 2019, Nic auditioned for the popular television show, Shark Tank, launched his products in Hy-Vee, and went live on Amazon.

Today, Nic has a commercial space and team of four who help him create a line of products that include the Wild Worksmen, the first candle he developed at age twelve, the Yes You Can candle designed to inspire others to have a “yes you can” mindset, and the Original Bianchi Candle (Bianchi means white in Italian) that is focused on home décor. Candles are poured in batches of six or seven and take typically 24 hours to cool and set. His wide array of scents include chai tea, lavender lime, sandalwood, sweet orange chile pepper, fresh brewed coffee, spring rain, and a variety of emotions such as joy, hope, and kindness that gently remind us that life is a gift not to be taken for granted.

Nic with his products.

Nic, who is a typical high school junior who loves hanging with his friends at the lake, attends class until 12:30 every weekday and then heads to either his commercial space to develop new ideas and make candles or to meetings where it doesn’t take him long to convince vendors that a seventeen-year-old has what it takes to run a successful business. Along the way, Nic says the biggest lesson he’s learned is that no matter what is thrown his way, he can always persevere. His future plans include majoring in some form of business in college, perhaps in San Diego.

As every business owner knows, learning is part of daily life. A year ago, Nic didn’t know how to manage a landlord relationship that includes rent, utilities, and a host of other unknown challenges. “I’ve discovered running a business takes a lot of hard work, but I love it when big things happen because of our hard work and focus,” he adds. When asked what one word best describes his life today, Nic answered, “Fulfilled.

Bianchi Candle Company

Nic advises anyone who wants to pursue their passion in life to “go for it, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Surrounded by an incredible support group that includes his parents, friends, and other entrepreneurs who mentor him, Nic has already discovered that owning a business offers wonderful rewards that include valuable life lessons that he can carry forward into the bright future that awaits him.

Jeff Bezos, Chairman and CEO of Amazon, once said, “You don’t choose your passions; your passions choose you.” Nic is an example of what one young man can do when he embraces his passion, walks through his fears, and creates a company that, in its own way, makes the world a better place.

For more about Bianchi Candle Company or to order products, click here: https://bianchicandleco.com.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com. 

Replacing Fear with Gratitude

Fear is one of those emotions that lurks in the shadows, just waiting to make itself known, especially during uncertain times. Unfortunately, fear is a powerful emotion with the potential to be unrelenting and all-consuming. Sometimes it may seem like fear is like a heavy curtain that covers the window to hope and possibilities. But what if there was a way to replace this all-consuming emotion with another one that helps us move our thought processes in a more positive direction?

What if we could replace fear with gratitude?

Replacing fear with gratitude is a practice that takes immense self-control and a willingness to let go of old behaviors. Plutarch once said, “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” What are you willing to change internally to implement this practice into every day and ultimately transform your reality?

Let’s pretend for a minute that you are feeling fearful about the current state of the economy, the health of your family, or your job. As a result, you may have a variety of thoughts dancing in and out of your mind—all that imagine the future with a negative outcome. When your mind begins to fill itself with these thoughts, whether you like it or not, you hold the power to transform those thoughts into moments of gratitude.

Stop and contemplate what you have, not what you don’t have. Do you have clean water? A warm bed? Some food in the cupboards? A friend to call? Someone who still believes in you despite all your silly mistakes? Do you have a talent that keeps you going during tough times like creating beautiful art?

Once you think of three things you currently have in your life that you are grateful for, write them down. These things don’t have to be complicated or material. They are simple gifts that you have taken for granted—until now. Now look at the list. Breathe in and out, slowly. You are grateful. You are alive. You are part of humanity. You are part of this big, complicated world that is sometimes challenging. Most importantly, you are the one who chooses how you want to be and how you want to move forward.

The Roman philosopher Senaca said, “Count each day as a separate life.” In following his wise advice, you can:

Be a friend to yourself and others.

Be a helper.

Be an inspiration.

Be a light in the world.

And above all …

Be grateful.

When counting every moment of this day as a separate gift that holds possibilities of a better tomorrow, we can replace fear with gratitude and, in turn, create a new beginning with every sunrise.

We will get through this together.

To learn more about the practice of gratitude, I invite you to watch this inspiring video.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living Her Passion - Meg Frideres

Meg Frideres teaching mindfulness to Pre-K students and members of the Nevada High School varsity basketball team.

Meg Frideres, a natural-born helper, was influenced in her career choice by two people. The first was a high school teacher who was quite nice, but not effective in his work. The second, was her grandmother, Lillian, an educator and lifelong learner who climbed the pyramids of Egypt at age seventy-five. While on a journey to decide what profession to pursue, Meg’s first choice was not teaching. First, she pursued international relations, followed by a short stint taking pre-med courses, and finally to become an educator. “I loved the cultural aspects of international relations and wanted to make the world a better place,” she explained. “Being a doctor would have allowed me to care for others, but the pre-med curriculum was just not for me. Teaching allowed me to bring both of my loves together.”

To date, Meg has been teaching for twenty-seven years. But her initial path to teaching was lined with more obstacles than she originally imagined. After graduating from the University of Iowa, Meg soon discovered there were no social studies teaching positions open. As a result, she stepped into a role as Religious Education Director and Youth Minister for grades 6-12 at St. Thomas More in Iowa City. When she and her husband, Mark, moved to Davenport, Iowa, so he could attend Palmer College of Chiropractic, she eventually landed a position as a religious teacher and campus minister at Assumption High School. When Mark graduated, they moved to Nevada, Iowa, where he opened his chiropractic practice and she became a social studies teacher at Nevada High School.

Meg soon realized that teaching is all about building relationships, and quickly grew to love the fact that she was able to travel with teenagers, even for just a short time, on their life journeys. “It’s amazing to hear their stories and help young people realize more of their potential,” she added. “While I think content is important, I also believe it is secondary to modeling healthy relationships, being a good listener of the story, and believing in young people. They flourish if they have those things.”

Five years ago after Meg’s school district qualified for the Teacher Leadership Compensation Program, she was offered the opportunity to teach students part of the time, coach teachers in their professional development the rest of the time, and also travel around the district as a mindfulness coach. Although she was incorporating some mindfulness techniques into her daily classroom plans, Meg had no idea of its impact until a student shared that the mindfulness practice helped calm her nerves before a presentation. Meg said, “I knew I wanted to learn more, so the following year, I chose mindfulness in education as my focus in my professional development plan. I read a lot that summer and took my first course from Mindful Schools, a nonprofit that trains educators to revolutionize today’s learning environments. It just blossomed from there.”

Meg leading Nevada Public School system students in mindfulness exercises.

After offering a professional development session for teachers in her district, Meg was invited into different classrooms to help students practice mindfulness. She currently works with students from Early Kindergarten through 12th grade, and also coaches mindfulness to three of the high school sports teams. In elementary classrooms, she conducts an eight-week program that includes visits once a week for 20 minutes. She teaches mindfulness practices (called superpowers) that teachers practice with the students. She teaches students how to mindfully sit, listen, and breathe, and then moves on to using mindful movements to deal with emotions, set daily intentions, and perform acts of kindness and gratitude. At the middle school and high school levels, her visits are more specific to dealing with issues like stage fright or helping focus attention while writing papers.

Inspired by her faith and supported by her husband, Meg has decided to pursue a national certification through Mindful Schools and will begin classes in August 2020. Meg stated, “I hope to work with as many teachers, students, and coaches as possible because mindfulness empowers people to enjoy the moment, think positive, and let go of self-judgment. Mindfulness allows us to be happier and healthier people.”

Raising children in today’s chaotic world can often be challenging. Meg advises parents to unconditionally love their children, instill boundaries, listen more than you talk, apologize when you are wrong, and let them know you are in their corner. She also offers sage advice to those who want to pursue their passion in life. “Don’t kid yourself. It can be scary and sometimes you second-guess yourself, but nothing beats the feeling of realizing your potential and how you can positively impact people. I was not born a risk taker, but I have learned that some things are worth the risk.”

Meg added that her students remind her all the time how blessed she is to be a part of their lives. “There are no words to explain the significance of being able to walk beside them for part of their life journey.”

Perhaps her students would agree that they are the ones who are blessed as they learn valuable mindfulness techniques from her that will help them gracefully face challenges, obstacles, and fears for the rest of their lives.

For more about Mindful Schools and their programs, visit https://www.mindfulschools.org/. To contact Meg directly with questions about mindfulness practices in the classroom, email her at: mfrideres@nevadacubs.org.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Is Grit the Secret to Success?

Pioneers relied on it while making the two-thousand-mile journey from Missouri to Oregon during the Great Emigration. Athletes have relied on it to finish marathons, break records, win the Super Bowl, participate in the Olympics, and accomplish more than they ever imagined on the field of play. Business executives have also been known to rely on it to carry a company and its employees through challenging economic times. And yes, even ordinary people rely on it to persevere through obstacles, attain professional success, and overcome fears.

IT is GRIT, and it is a necessary trait for anyone who wants to realize their best life.

Grit is defined by Merriam Webster’s dictionary as a firmness of mind or spirit and unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger. When life presents challenges that initially seem too difficult to overcome, sometimes despite our best efforts, we may find it easier to go into the fetal position, close our eyes, and hope that someone wakes us when it is over. During these times, we may wonder if it is really possible to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and find the grit deep within to help us fight our greatest battles and somehow come out a better person in the end.

It is possible. In fact, the letters G, R, I, and T can be transformed into words that are easy to remember and that have the power to help carry us through the toughest of times:

Goals. People who rely on grit to persevere through life’s greatest challenges set goals on a regular basis. Not only do they set goals, they often have someone hold them accountable to achieving them. Their goals are clear, achievable, and broken down into realistic action steps that take them in new directions. Gritty people realize that goals push us out of our comfort zones and into the realm of possibilities. Most importantly, goals help us follow through with the promise we have made to ourselves to create our best life.

Resolve. When facing challenges, in life, pretend you are a rock climber standing before a giant boulder. You want more than anything to safely get to the top. So, how do you do it? Plan your route and then slowly make your way, one calculated move at a time. Be open to potential changes in your route. Focus on your destination while enjoying the journey. Be strong. Be proud of yourself every time you move forward.

Intuition. Our gut is a powerful companion in our lives. Unfortunately most of us never listen to it. Or if we hear it, we try to quiet the inner-voice by believing it is wrong. When creating a path forward, allow yourself time to reflect to discern whether your feelings are fear-based or whether you really have a bad feeling about your new direction. People who rely on grit to move through obstacles also trust their intuition to guide and protect them.

Tenacious. In today’s competitive world, persistence is key to success. Learn. Be open to new ideas. Be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses. Do not be deterred from achieving your goals if they are realistically attainable. Revise your plan if need be. Wake up every morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and give yourself a pep talk. Gritty people know how to motivate themselves when no one else is doing it for them. Don’t give up.

Goals. Resolve. Intuition. Tenacious.

The next time you’re facing a challenge, remember it is GRIT that leads us straight over obstacles and into our best lives.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. If you’d like to set up a 15-minute discovery call to learn more about the coaching process, reach out today via the contact page at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living His Passion – Brandon McDermott

Brandon McDermott at work at NET radio.

Brandon McDermott was born into less than ideal circumstances. His father was a drug addict who not only viciously beat his mother (who was also addicted to drugs), but also his children. In 1999, his father was sent to prison for killing his girlfriend in front of Brandon. As a result, Brandon moved in and out of foster care from age seven to fourteen while attending six elementary schools and four middle schools. Despite his struggles at home, Brandon discovered that radio was his calling while working at a career center during his sophomore year of high school. “I loved connecting with people,” he added.

After high school graduation, Brandon fell through the cracks. Because his parents were unable to fill out the necessary forms so he could attend college, Brandon secured a job at a local company where he worked his way up for the next seven years from entering data to managing his entire department. But everything changed in 2011 when Brandon decided to accept a position as an intern at KVNO radio in Omaha. He worked for free. “I had to prove myself and demonstrate that I had potential,” he stated. “There were many people along the way who told me I needed a college degree to attain a job in media. I proved them wrong.” Brandon did begin attending college eventually and is on track to graduate from the University of Nebraska Omaha in May 2020 with a bachelor’s degree in multidisciplinary studies.

Brandon noted his time at KVNO was a terrific learning experience that proved to be very rewarding. He learned from the best in the business including longtime Omaha radio legend Otis XII who offered suggestions on how to attain success in the radio industry, encouraged him to ask questions to learn, and gently reminded him to enjoy the ride. While at KVNO, Brandon won several awards. His favorites were his first Omaha Press Club “Best in Class” award for his 2014 interview with Marlin Briscoe, a star athlete at South High and UNO who became the first starting African American NFL quarterback in history, and another award from the Midwest Broadcast Journalists Association for his 2016 story on the North Omaha reinvestment project.

Today, Brandon is happily married and working as a morning show host and reporter at NET radio where he still enjoys connecting with people. His days start early. He wakes up at three o’clock in the morning and is at work by four to host the Morning Edition show from five to nine o’clock. The rest of his workday consists of reporting duties.

Brandon advises anyone who wants to pursue their calling in life to create small and large goals. “I started college in 2014. It has been a slow process, but it started with one step. Now I’m within sight of walking across the stage to accept my diploma. To me, nothing is more fulfilling than achieving a goal I’ve set. I set a goal to make the Dean’s list one semester and the Chancellor’s list another semester. I’ve hit both. Confidence in yourself makes others confident in your abilities as well.”

When asked to identify one word that best describes his life today, Brandon said, “Growing. I have learned to trust myself as a host. I’ve found my voice when on the air. It’s a good feeling to have.” In pursuing his passion despite his challenges, he has gained a sense of belonging and meaning in his life. “I have never felt like my job is work,” he added. “Every choice and experience brought me to where I am. I wouldn’t be the man I am without my childhood or my first job. I could have used all that happened to me to curl up and yell at the world, but I used it to overcome and become what I am today. We are shaped in life by what happens to us, but we are judged in life by what we do with it.”

Brandon McDermott is an inspiring example of what it means to persevere through seemingly insurmountable obstacles to not only find a calling, but also summon the courage to pursue it. In doing so, he has become an example of the beautiful transformation that can occur when one decides to live with determination, not bitterness.

To listen live to Brandon every weekday morning from 5:00 – 9:00 a.m., click here: http://netnebraska.org/radio-stream. To read his memoir, Abandon Brandon, visit Amazon.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Are You Ready to Let Go?

Letting go of the things that do not serve us in life can be a challenging task. Letting go can be frightening because it means we are forcing ourselves to face a new reality without a burden that sometimes unwittingly becomes an excuse for not stretching ourselves and finding a new, better place in the world. It might be letting go of an unfulfilling job. It might be letting go of a loveless marriage. It might be letting go of a long-held dream.

Today I’m going to share a deeply personal story about one valuable experience in my life that demonstrated the importance of recognizing the right time to let go and then witnessing the miracle that occurs when we finally do.

After the birth of my son, my husband and I decided we wanted another child. Once I realized I was pregnant again, I embarked on a similar journey through a variety of typical symptoms like morning sickness, aversions to certain foods, and exhaustion. Despite my best efforts to maintain a healthy pregnancy, I lost the baby after thirteen weeks. The date was February 9. I was devastated. Day after day, month after month, I felt lost in a web of overwhelming grief. It seemed like all I did was cry and feel jealous of other women who seemingly moved through their pregnancies effortlessly.

After a short time, we once again attempted to build our family. Meanwhile, when my hairdresser told me she was thinking about adopting a child from China, I listened, smiled, and offered encouragement. When it seemed our efforts to add to our family were failing, I had a dream that our lost baby was floating above my bed, dressed in a beautiful white gown. She smiled at me and I smiled back. After a few minutes, she disappeared and I awakened, wondering about the significance of the dream. When I told a trusted friend about my dream, she gently said, “Maybe the dream was your sign that it’s time to let go of your grief. Maybe your baby came to you to tell you she is okay.”

Suddenly, I realized that I had control over what I let go of in my life. By letting my grief go, I was not forgetting about my beautiful child. Instead, I was allowing myself to move forward, embrace a new reality, and contemplate other options. In that moment, I felt lighter and freer than I had in months. After giving myself permission to let go, I walked through a door of possibilities that led me to a miracle I never expected.

A short time later, I stopped all attempts to become pregnant. I felt drawn toward a different option and began researching the international adoption process (ironically, my hairdresser never ended up adopting from China). Nine months later, I stood in the airport terminal, holding my gorgeous, four-month-old daughter in my arms for the first time. She was born in Korea and also in my heart, and delivered to me by a selfless, young Korean volunteer who completed a twenty-two-hour flight with my daughter and then cried while watching me kiss her chubby cheeks. Today that baby has transformed into a new college graduate ready to tackle the world on her own. If you don’t believe in miracles yet, you may now. Her birthday is February 6, which is the date of my miscarriage simply turned upside down.

I often wonder how my journey would have turned out had I not given myself permission to let go of my grief, invite myself to explore unimaginable possibilities, and then press forward into a scary yet exciting new beginning. All I know is that I’m so glad that a chain of events unfolded in front of me that allowed me a chance to reflect on where I’d been, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted for myself from that point forward—and, most of all, that a trusted friend took my hand and led me down a path out of the darkness of grief and into the light of healing and new beginnings.

Today I am giving you permission to let go of one thing that doesn’t serve you anymore. It might be scary. It might feel daunting. It might be the most challenging thing you’ve ever done. But if you succeed, I promise you will be a better person for releasing it because when you do, you’ll be making room for all the miracles that are waiting for you.

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.

If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”

―Roy T. Bennett

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

What Are You Doing to Embrace the Seasons of Life?

“Nature is never static. It is always changing. Everything is in a constant state of flux. Nothing endures. Everything is in the process of either coming into being or expiring.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster

As this year draws to a close, it provides an opportunity for reflection on where we have been on our journeys through life and where we would like to go from this point forward.

Within these quiet moments of reflection, we learn that every season of life holds its own magic, its own heartache, and its own joy. Just like the natural world around us, each season of life offers change, beauty, death, and rebirth. As the wheel of life spins around and around, it moves us into new seasons—even as we do our best to resist—ultimately forcing us to grow, adapt, and accept the realities associated with change. The good news is that each of these seasons brings us gifts, lessons, and experiences that we can carry forward into the future to transform ourselves into better parents, employees, leaders, friends, siblings, or mentors.

When we step away from the busyness of life to think, we realize we are all explorers on a quest for answers as long as we remain here. In Little Gidding, a poem by T. S. Eliot, he teaches us that “We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time.” When viewing ourselves as explorers, we invite ourselves to stop resisting and instead ride the waves of change throughout each season of life while expressing gratitude for the past and the wisdom we have gained from both our failures and successes.

No season is easy. Each holds its unique challenges and joys. During one season, we may grieve the loss of someone we loved more than we ever imagined possible. During an alternative season, we may find our soul mate and begin a new life together. Within another season, we may land a dream job that propels us onto a new and exciting career path or pack up our belongings and start again in a different city or country. Another season may bring the gift of a new addition to the family, a dream vacation, or the opportunity to give back or pay it forward. No matter what experiences accompany each season, we will learn, love, and find a way to press on.

Every season in the cycle of life provides us with the chance to follow our hearts, align our goals with our purpose, and rediscover who we really are deep inside (not who others want us to be). As the leaves drop off the trees and the geese fly south, snow covers the ground, the birds begin singing again, and beautiful flowers dot the landscape, we all transform as we endure heartache, laugh heartily, love fiercely, bravely overcome our fears, and take plunges into the unknown.

As this holiday season draws to a close, I hope that you will embrace this time and practice gratitude for the gifts, blessings, and wisdom you will now take with you as you move forward into the next season.

Be well, be happy, and most importantly, be you.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.