Replacing Fear with Gratitude

Fear is one of those emotions that lurks in the shadows, just waiting to make itself known, especially during uncertain times. Unfortunately, fear is a powerful emotion with the potential to be unrelenting and all-consuming. Sometimes it may seem like fear is like a heavy curtain that covers the window to hope and possibilities. But what if there was a way to replace this all-consuming emotion with another one that helps us move our thought processes in a more positive direction?

What if we could replace fear with gratitude?

Replacing fear with gratitude is a practice that takes immense self-control and a willingness to let go of old behaviors. Plutarch once said, “What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.” What are you willing to change internally to implement this practice into every day and ultimately transform your reality?

Let’s pretend for a minute that you are feeling fearful about the current state of the economy, the health of your family, or your job. As a result, you may have a variety of thoughts dancing in and out of your mind—all that imagine the future with a negative outcome. When your mind begins to fill itself with these thoughts, whether you like it or not, you hold the power to transform those thoughts into moments of gratitude.

Stop and contemplate what you have, not what you don’t have. Do you have clean water? A warm bed? Some food in the cupboards? A friend to call? Someone who still believes in you despite all your silly mistakes? Do you have a talent that keeps you going during tough times like creating beautiful art?

Once you think of three things you currently have in your life that you are grateful for, write them down. These things don’t have to be complicated or material. They are simple gifts that you have taken for granted—until now. Now look at the list. Breathe in and out, slowly. You are grateful. You are alive. You are part of humanity. You are part of this big, complicated world that is sometimes challenging. Most importantly, you are the one who chooses how you want to be and how you want to move forward.

The Roman philosopher Senaca said, “Count each day as a separate life.” In following his wise advice, you can:

Be a friend to yourself and others.

Be a helper.

Be an inspiration.

Be a light in the world.

And above all …

Be grateful.

When counting every moment of this day as a separate gift that holds possibilities of a better tomorrow, we can replace fear with gratitude and, in turn, create a new beginning with every sunrise.

We will get through this together.

To learn more about the practice of gratitude, I invite you to watch this inspiring video.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living Her Passion - Meg Frideres

Meg Frideres teaching mindfulness to Pre-K students and members of the Nevada High School varsity basketball team.

Meg Frideres, a natural-born helper, was influenced in her career choice by two people. The first was a high school teacher who was quite nice, but not effective in his work. The second, was her grandmother, Lillian, an educator and lifelong learner who climbed the pyramids of Egypt at age seventy-five. While on a journey to decide what profession to pursue, Meg’s first choice was not teaching. First, she pursued international relations, followed by a short stint taking pre-med courses, and finally to become an educator. “I loved the cultural aspects of international relations and wanted to make the world a better place,” she explained. “Being a doctor would have allowed me to care for others, but the pre-med curriculum was just not for me. Teaching allowed me to bring both of my loves together.”

To date, Meg has been teaching for twenty-seven years. But her initial path to teaching was lined with more obstacles than she originally imagined. After graduating from the University of Iowa, Meg soon discovered there were no social studies teaching positions open. As a result, she stepped into a role as Religious Education Director and Youth Minister for grades 6-12 at St. Thomas More in Iowa City. When she and her husband, Mark, moved to Davenport, Iowa, so he could attend Palmer College of Chiropractic, she eventually landed a position as a religious teacher and campus minister at Assumption High School. When Mark graduated, they moved to Nevada, Iowa, where he opened his chiropractic practice and she became a social studies teacher at Nevada High School.

Meg soon realized that teaching is all about building relationships, and quickly grew to love the fact that she was able to travel with teenagers, even for just a short time, on their life journeys. “It’s amazing to hear their stories and help young people realize more of their potential,” she added. “While I think content is important, I also believe it is secondary to modeling healthy relationships, being a good listener of the story, and believing in young people. They flourish if they have those things.”

Five years ago after Meg’s school district qualified for the Teacher Leadership Compensation Program, she was offered the opportunity to teach students part of the time, coach teachers in their professional development the rest of the time, and also travel around the district as a mindfulness coach. Although she was incorporating some mindfulness techniques into her daily classroom plans, Meg had no idea of its impact until a student shared that the mindfulness practice helped calm her nerves before a presentation. Meg said, “I knew I wanted to learn more, so the following year, I chose mindfulness in education as my focus in my professional development plan. I read a lot that summer and took my first course from Mindful Schools, a nonprofit that trains educators to revolutionize today’s learning environments. It just blossomed from there.”

Meg leading Nevada Public School system students in mindfulness exercises.

After offering a professional development session for teachers in her district, Meg was invited into different classrooms to help students practice mindfulness. She currently works with students from Early Kindergarten through 12th grade, and also coaches mindfulness to three of the high school sports teams. In elementary classrooms, she conducts an eight-week program that includes visits once a week for 20 minutes. She teaches mindfulness practices (called superpowers) that teachers practice with the students. She teaches students how to mindfully sit, listen, and breathe, and then moves on to using mindful movements to deal with emotions, set daily intentions, and perform acts of kindness and gratitude. At the middle school and high school levels, her visits are more specific to dealing with issues like stage fright or helping focus attention while writing papers.

Inspired by her faith and supported by her husband, Meg has decided to pursue a national certification through Mindful Schools and will begin classes in August 2020. Meg stated, “I hope to work with as many teachers, students, and coaches as possible because mindfulness empowers people to enjoy the moment, think positive, and let go of self-judgment. Mindfulness allows us to be happier and healthier people.”

Raising children in today’s chaotic world can often be challenging. Meg advises parents to unconditionally love their children, instill boundaries, listen more than you talk, apologize when you are wrong, and let them know you are in their corner. She also offers sage advice to those who want to pursue their passion in life. “Don’t kid yourself. It can be scary and sometimes you second-guess yourself, but nothing beats the feeling of realizing your potential and how you can positively impact people. I was not born a risk taker, but I have learned that some things are worth the risk.”

Meg added that her students remind her all the time how blessed she is to be a part of their lives. “There are no words to explain the significance of being able to walk beside them for part of their life journey.”

Perhaps her students would agree that they are the ones who are blessed as they learn valuable mindfulness techniques from her that will help them gracefully face challenges, obstacles, and fears for the rest of their lives.

For more about Mindful Schools and their programs, visit https://www.mindfulschools.org/. To contact Meg directly with questions about mindfulness practices in the classroom, email her at: mfrideres@nevadacubs.org.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Is Grit the Secret to Success?

Pioneers relied on it while making the two-thousand-mile journey from Missouri to Oregon during the Great Emigration. Athletes have relied on it to finish marathons, break records, win the Super Bowl, participate in the Olympics, and accomplish more than they ever imagined on the field of play. Business executives have also been known to rely on it to carry a company and its employees through challenging economic times. And yes, even ordinary people rely on it to persevere through obstacles, attain professional success, and overcome fears.

IT is GRIT, and it is a necessary trait for anyone who wants to realize their best life.

Grit is defined by Merriam Webster’s dictionary as a firmness of mind or spirit and unyielding courage in the face of hardship or danger. When life presents challenges that initially seem too difficult to overcome, sometimes despite our best efforts, we may find it easier to go into the fetal position, close our eyes, and hope that someone wakes us when it is over. During these times, we may wonder if it is really possible to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and find the grit deep within to help us fight our greatest battles and somehow come out a better person in the end.

It is possible. In fact, the letters G, R, I, and T can be transformed into words that are easy to remember and that have the power to help carry us through the toughest of times:

Goals. People who rely on grit to persevere through life’s greatest challenges set goals on a regular basis. Not only do they set goals, they often have someone hold them accountable to achieving them. Their goals are clear, achievable, and broken down into realistic action steps that take them in new directions. Gritty people realize that goals push us out of our comfort zones and into the realm of possibilities. Most importantly, goals help us follow through with the promise we have made to ourselves to create our best life.

Resolve. When facing challenges, in life, pretend you are a rock climber standing before a giant boulder. You want more than anything to safely get to the top. So, how do you do it? Plan your route and then slowly make your way, one calculated move at a time. Be open to potential changes in your route. Focus on your destination while enjoying the journey. Be strong. Be proud of yourself every time you move forward.

Intuition. Our gut is a powerful companion in our lives. Unfortunately most of us never listen to it. Or if we hear it, we try to quiet the inner-voice by believing it is wrong. When creating a path forward, allow yourself time to reflect to discern whether your feelings are fear-based or whether you really have a bad feeling about your new direction. People who rely on grit to move through obstacles also trust their intuition to guide and protect them.

Tenacious. In today’s competitive world, persistence is key to success. Learn. Be open to new ideas. Be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses. Do not be deterred from achieving your goals if they are realistically attainable. Revise your plan if need be. Wake up every morning, look at yourself in the mirror, and give yourself a pep talk. Gritty people know how to motivate themselves when no one else is doing it for them. Don’t give up.

Goals. Resolve. Intuition. Tenacious.

The next time you’re facing a challenge, remember it is GRIT that leads us straight over obstacles and into our best lives.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. If you’d like to set up a 15-minute discovery call to learn more about the coaching process, reach out today via the contact page at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living His Passion – Brandon McDermott

Brandon McDermott at work at NET radio.

Brandon McDermott was born into less than ideal circumstances. His father was a drug addict who not only viciously beat his mother (who was also addicted to drugs), but also his children. In 1999, his father was sent to prison for killing his girlfriend in front of Brandon. As a result, Brandon moved in and out of foster care from age seven to fourteen while attending six elementary schools and four middle schools. Despite his struggles at home, Brandon discovered that radio was his calling while working at a career center during his sophomore year of high school. “I loved connecting with people,” he added.

After high school graduation, Brandon fell through the cracks. Because his parents were unable to fill out the necessary forms so he could attend college, Brandon secured a job at a local company where he worked his way up for the next seven years from entering data to managing his entire department. But everything changed in 2011 when Brandon decided to accept a position as an intern at KVNO radio in Omaha. He worked for free. “I had to prove myself and demonstrate that I had potential,” he stated. “There were many people along the way who told me I needed a college degree to attain a job in media. I proved them wrong.” Brandon did begin attending college eventually and is on track to graduate from the University of Nebraska Omaha in May 2020 with a bachelor’s degree in multidisciplinary studies.

Brandon noted his time at KVNO was a terrific learning experience that proved to be very rewarding. He learned from the best in the business including longtime Omaha radio legend Otis XII who offered suggestions on how to attain success in the radio industry, encouraged him to ask questions to learn, and gently reminded him to enjoy the ride. While at KVNO, Brandon won several awards. His favorites were his first Omaha Press Club “Best in Class” award for his 2014 interview with Marlin Briscoe, a star athlete at South High and UNO who became the first starting African American NFL quarterback in history, and another award from the Midwest Broadcast Journalists Association for his 2016 story on the North Omaha reinvestment project.

Today, Brandon is happily married and working as a morning show host and reporter at NET radio where he still enjoys connecting with people. His days start early. He wakes up at three o’clock in the morning and is at work by four to host the Morning Edition show from five to nine o’clock. The rest of his workday consists of reporting duties.

Brandon advises anyone who wants to pursue their calling in life to create small and large goals. “I started college in 2014. It has been a slow process, but it started with one step. Now I’m within sight of walking across the stage to accept my diploma. To me, nothing is more fulfilling than achieving a goal I’ve set. I set a goal to make the Dean’s list one semester and the Chancellor’s list another semester. I’ve hit both. Confidence in yourself makes others confident in your abilities as well.”

When asked to identify one word that best describes his life today, Brandon said, “Growing. I have learned to trust myself as a host. I’ve found my voice when on the air. It’s a good feeling to have.” In pursuing his passion despite his challenges, he has gained a sense of belonging and meaning in his life. “I have never felt like my job is work,” he added. “Every choice and experience brought me to where I am. I wouldn’t be the man I am without my childhood or my first job. I could have used all that happened to me to curl up and yell at the world, but I used it to overcome and become what I am today. We are shaped in life by what happens to us, but we are judged in life by what we do with it.”

Brandon McDermott is an inspiring example of what it means to persevere through seemingly insurmountable obstacles to not only find a calling, but also summon the courage to pursue it. In doing so, he has become an example of the beautiful transformation that can occur when one decides to live with determination, not bitterness.

To listen live to Brandon every weekday morning from 5:00 – 9:00 a.m., click here: http://netnebraska.org/radio-stream. To read his memoir, Abandon Brandon, visit Amazon.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Are You Ready to Let Go?

Letting go of the things that do not serve us in life can be a challenging task. Letting go can be frightening because it means we are forcing ourselves to face a new reality without a burden that sometimes unwittingly becomes an excuse for not stretching ourselves and finding a new, better place in the world. It might be letting go of an unfulfilling job. It might be letting go of a loveless marriage. It might be letting go of a long-held dream.

Today I’m going to share a deeply personal story about one valuable experience in my life that demonstrated the importance of recognizing the right time to let go and then witnessing the miracle that occurs when we finally do.

After the birth of my son, my husband and I decided we wanted another child. Once I realized I was pregnant again, I embarked on a similar journey through a variety of typical symptoms like morning sickness, aversions to certain foods, and exhaustion. Despite my best efforts to maintain a healthy pregnancy, I lost the baby after thirteen weeks. The date was February 9. I was devastated. Day after day, month after month, I felt lost in a web of overwhelming grief. It seemed like all I did was cry and feel jealous of other women who seemingly moved through their pregnancies effortlessly.

After a short time, we once again attempted to build our family. Meanwhile, when my hairdresser told me she was thinking about adopting a child from China, I listened, smiled, and offered encouragement. When it seemed our efforts to add to our family were failing, I had a dream that our lost baby was floating above my bed, dressed in a beautiful white gown. She smiled at me and I smiled back. After a few minutes, she disappeared and I awakened, wondering about the significance of the dream. When I told a trusted friend about my dream, she gently said, “Maybe the dream was your sign that it’s time to let go of your grief. Maybe your baby came to you to tell you she is okay.”

Suddenly, I realized that I had control over what I let go of in my life. By letting my grief go, I was not forgetting about my beautiful child. Instead, I was allowing myself to move forward, embrace a new reality, and contemplate other options. In that moment, I felt lighter and freer than I had in months. After giving myself permission to let go, I walked through a door of possibilities that led me to a miracle I never expected.

A short time later, I stopped all attempts to become pregnant. I felt drawn toward a different option and began researching the international adoption process (ironically, my hairdresser never ended up adopting from China). Nine months later, I stood in the airport terminal, holding my gorgeous, four-month-old daughter in my arms for the first time. She was born in Korea and also in my heart, and delivered to me by a selfless, young Korean volunteer who completed a twenty-two-hour flight with my daughter and then cried while watching me kiss her chubby cheeks. Today that baby has transformed into a new college graduate ready to tackle the world on her own. If you don’t believe in miracles yet, you may now. Her birthday is February 6, which is the date of my miscarriage simply turned upside down.

I often wonder how my journey would have turned out had I not given myself permission to let go of my grief, invite myself to explore unimaginable possibilities, and then press forward into a scary yet exciting new beginning. All I know is that I’m so glad that a chain of events unfolded in front of me that allowed me a chance to reflect on where I’d been, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted for myself from that point forward—and, most of all, that a trusted friend took my hand and led me down a path out of the darkness of grief and into the light of healing and new beginnings.

Today I am giving you permission to let go of one thing that doesn’t serve you anymore. It might be scary. It might feel daunting. It might be the most challenging thing you’ve ever done. But if you succeed, I promise you will be a better person for releasing it because when you do, you’ll be making room for all the miracles that are waiting for you.

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward.

If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”

―Roy T. Bennett

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living Her Passion - Ashley Spitsnogle

Ashley Spitsnogle painting “live” at the 2018 Heartfelt Gala in Nebraska.

While growing up in a small farming community in Odell, Nebraska, Ashley Spitsnogle loved drawing horses and mermaids. After her life’s journey led her to attend and then graduate from Doane University in Crete, Ashley studied at Studio Arts College International in Florence, Italy, for a month where she focused on painting and drawing. When returning to the States, Ashley decided she wanted to do whatever it took to become a professional artist.

Her first professional project was illustrating the children’s book, Josh the Baby Otter, for the Joshua Collingsworth Memorial Foundation whose mission is to create awareness about water safety. Since then, she has traveled throughout the nation on behalf of the Foundation, partnering with numerous organizations including Rotary International and the Michael Phelps Foundation to prevent drowning accidents. Today, Ashley stay very busy commissioning diverse art for clients that includes Husker prints, abstract pieces, and paintings of cattle, horses, and landscapes. Additionally, she hosts art shows and paints live at events that include the Cattleman’s Ball of Nebraska, Teammates Mentoring, the Lied Center, Heartfelt Ball, Nebraska Bar Association, Farm Credit Services of America, and many others.

When creating her art, Ashley often develops a composition in Photoshop first, so she can gather an idea of how it will look on canvas in different ways. After her process leads her to utilizing charcoal on the canvas to lay out the shapes for the painting, Ashley then layers in blocks of color and adds the details as the final step. In order to demonstrate her process, Ashley has produced numerous, fascinating time-lapse videos that detail the beginning to end stages of a painting. She adds, “Painting live is like a performance. As long as I am overly prepared, I become hyper-focused and just start painting. Generally, I give myself four hours to complete a painting on a three-foot by four-foot canvas, so it’s large enough for people to see from a distance.”

Ashley, who has always been a big Husker fan, became licensed through the University of Nebraska to commission her artwork three years ago after she painted a Brook Berringer and Tom Osborne painting live at a Teammates mentoring event. After Coach Osborne signed the painting, she posted it on Facebook, prompting many to reach out including Brook’s family and friends. The following year, Ashley painted “Last Tunnel Walk” live at a Heartfelt Incorporated event for families who have lost children. The painting, approved beforehand by both Sam Foltz’s and Brook Berringer’s families, shows Brook and Sam walking into the light with Brook’s hand on Sam’s shoulder, as if to lead and comfort him. After the painting was auctioned off, Sharon Dickinson (the president of Heartfelt Incorporated), Jill and Gerald Foltz, and Ashley and her family delivered two prints to Bill Moos and Matt Davison at the University. Today, the prints hang in Memorial Stadium. Ashley adds, “I am honored the painting has touched people, as both guys are still making a lasting influence and impression on others.” Additionally, her painting of Coach Scott Frost made the cover of the Husker Sports Fall Guide, of which over 60,000 copies were distributed. Recently, Big Red Wrap Up and other news stations have featured stories on her Husker art.

Ashley’s artistic portrayal of Brook Berringer and Sam Foltz

The best piece of advice Ashley received when she decided to become a professional artist was to never give up and undervalue herself. She loves having a work space in Main Street Studios and Art Gallery in Omaha, among other artists who inspire her daily. When she is not painting approximately four to five hours daily, she works on a regular basis with the Joshua Collingsworth Memorial Foundation, illustrating and helping with the publication of magazines and brochures. Her art is currently displayed in Lincoln at Venue Restaurant & Lounge, Scheels, Main Street Studios and Art Gallery, Husker Hounds, and Revitalift in Lincoln.

“Nebraska Strong”, painted by Ashley at the Cattleman’s Ball to portray the hay being brought to farmers after the historic floods of 2019.

Ashley has gained much from pursuing her passion. “I am excited to wake up each day and get to work,” she says. “I also have the freedom to travel and enjoy the fact that no two days are alike.” For anyone who wants to pursue their own passion in life, Ashley advises, “When you don’t dread going to work every day, it is worth every sleepless night and stress. I don’t know what kind of person I would be if I didn’t pursue my passion. You only live once, so you might as well enjoy what you do.”

Edgar Degas once said, “Art is not what you see, but what you make others see.” Every time Ashley stands in front of a canvas and begins another creation, she helps all of us see the beauty in our beloved football team, the Nebraska landscape, and life itself.

To read more about Ashley or to purchase one of her pieces, visit ashleyspitsnogle.com.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

What Are You Doing to Embrace the Seasons of Life?

“Nature is never static. It is always changing. Everything is in a constant state of flux. Nothing endures. Everything is in the process of either coming into being or expiring.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster

As this year draws to a close, it provides an opportunity for reflection on where we have been on our journeys through life and where we would like to go from this point forward.

Within these quiet moments of reflection, we learn that every season of life holds its own magic, its own heartache, and its own joy. Just like the natural world around us, each season of life offers change, beauty, death, and rebirth. As the wheel of life spins around and around, it moves us into new seasons—even as we do our best to resist—ultimately forcing us to grow, adapt, and accept the realities associated with change. The good news is that each of these seasons brings us gifts, lessons, and experiences that we can carry forward into the future to transform ourselves into better parents, employees, leaders, friends, siblings, or mentors.

When we step away from the busyness of life to think, we realize we are all explorers on a quest for answers as long as we remain here. In Little Gidding, a poem by T. S. Eliot, he teaches us that “We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time.” When viewing ourselves as explorers, we invite ourselves to stop resisting and instead ride the waves of change throughout each season of life while expressing gratitude for the past and the wisdom we have gained from both our failures and successes.

No season is easy. Each holds its unique challenges and joys. During one season, we may grieve the loss of someone we loved more than we ever imagined possible. During an alternative season, we may find our soul mate and begin a new life together. Within another season, we may land a dream job that propels us onto a new and exciting career path or pack up our belongings and start again in a different city or country. Another season may bring the gift of a new addition to the family, a dream vacation, or the opportunity to give back or pay it forward. No matter what experiences accompany each season, we will learn, love, and find a way to press on.

Every season in the cycle of life provides us with the chance to follow our hearts, align our goals with our purpose, and rediscover who we really are deep inside (not who others want us to be). As the leaves drop off the trees and the geese fly south, snow covers the ground, the birds begin singing again, and beautiful flowers dot the landscape, we all transform as we endure heartache, laugh heartily, love fiercely, bravely overcome our fears, and take plunges into the unknown.

As this holiday season draws to a close, I hope that you will embrace this time and practice gratitude for the gifts, blessings, and wisdom you will now take with you as you move forward into the next season.

Be well, be happy, and most importantly, be you.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living His Passion – Dave Greulich (also known as Santa)

The itch to play Santa is in Dave Greulich’s blood. His chef father played Santa, visiting three families every Christmas for thirty years. Still, Dave didn’t have an interest in transforming into Santa as he began a diverse career that included working as a restaurant consultant, running a BBQ restaurant, and working in Racing Chemistry (testing greyhounds and horses that raced at pari-mutuel tracks) at Iowa State University. But sixteen years ago when Dave was in his early fifties, after a family member suggested that he put his home-grown beard to good use, Dave decided to apply for a Santa job at the local mall. On his first day, Dave didn’t make it from the parking lot to inside the mall before he heard a tiny voice crying, “Santa! Santa!” After turning around, he noticed a girl break away from her father. As he got down on one knee and opened his arms, she ran full speed toward him and melted into his arms. Dave says he knew right then that he would be playing Santa for as long as he was able. “That feeling was unlike anything I can accurately explain,” he adds.

After attending Santa School, Dave first worked in the local mall, and then traveled to Torrance, California, Omaha, Nebraska, Orlando, Florida, and then Redmond, Washington, before finally settling into the title he now holds as Santa Ames. Dave says the best piece of advice he received when he decided to play Santa is that he must believe in himself. “Every Santa knows not to get too wrapped up in themselves or the character,” he states. “After all, I am not Santa. I am a helper; a Santa performer.”

There are many qualities that make up a good Santa. “He must love children and enjoy talking and listening to them,” Dave adds. “He must be real, kind and gentle, humble, smart, and quick with answers.” The children that sit on his lap often bring both amusing and heartbreaking stories with them. One little girl wanted a real Harry Potter wand so she secretly could turn her mother into a pig. Another girl asked for make-up for Christmas. When Dave asked her why, she stated that everyone had told her she was ugly and that she felt make-up would make her more beautiful. Dave said that after he buoyed her spirits and told her she was naturally beautiful, she hugged him tightly and skipped away. It is experiences like that one that remind Dave every day that both children and adults look up to him and that it’s important not to betray that trust.

Photo by Jenn Hoffman Photography

Dave says that Santa imparts many valuable lessons to all ages that include, “Be kind to one another, don’t take things so seriously, it’s better to give than to receive, and it takes so little to make a difference.” No one is too old to visit Santa. Many times, college students stop by and tell Dave it’s a tradition that they have a photo taken with Santa and give it as a gift to their mother. Another time, a couple—ages 102 and 96—brought a group of at least twenty-five family members to witness their visit with him.

Every holiday season, Dave decorates his yard with lights and at least fifteen inflatables, a sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer. A few nights each season, Dave sits in the sleigh and invites everyone to his yard to have their photo taken with him. In return, he asks for a donation for the local food bank. Last year, he donated nearly one thousand pounds of food and several hundred dollars.

This time of year, Santa is very busy. In October, he begins contacting clients in the Des Moines/Ames, Iowa, area, ensures his background checks are completed, his liability insurance is renewed, his suits are clean, and that he has a fresh supply of candy canes on hand. When he is not preparing for a chaotic holiday season, Dave cares for his beloved wife who has ALS.

He advises anyone who wants to pursue their passion in life to “Go for it. Don’t be afraid of setbacks or to ask for advice, help, or for a mentor. Remember, you don’t know everything. No matter how much you have learned over the years or how many years you have done it, there is always someone who knows more and can help you somehow.”

Charles W. Howard once said, “Santa Claus does not enter through the chimney. He enters through the heart.” Every Christmas when Dave dons his red suit, black belt, and boots and gives a hearty “Ho! Ho! Ho!” to girls and boys of all ages, he does just that, helping all of us believe in the miracle of giving.

To book Santa for a future event, visit http://santaames.com/.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

What Are You Doing to Pay It Forward?

A recent magazine article profiled a woman who, after turning eighty, decided to celebrate her birthday in a different way. Inspired by a friend who decades earlier gifted a mutual acquaintance with twenty-one roses on her twenty-first birthday, the woman began contemplating how she could pay it forward and help others—all while rejoicing in her long life. As she started to pull together a plan to hand-deliver eighty dollars to eighty friends and relatives, ask them to gift it to someone in need, and then send her a note to tell her about the experience, the woman had no idea of the positive impact her plan would have not just on the world, but also on her. As the notes detailing one amazing experience after another started to fill her mailbox, the woman soon realized that even the smallest of gestures have the power to spread monumental joy. Her most important takeaway lesson was that in her efforts to help and lift others, her life was forever changed as well.

We all know that life is not easy. It is full of just as much heartache as joy and just as many challenges as effortless tasks. When we are able to detach from the unhelpful practice of comparing ourselves to others, we also know deep inside that none of us are better than anyone else. We are all here to love, learn, struggle, and celebrate. No matter how much money we have in our bank accounts, we are all exiting this life the same way. Wherever we reside in the world, we are more alike than we imagine.

Every morning when we awaken to begin a new day, we are presented with the opportunity to transform the world around us with kindness. Paying it forward doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. It can be as simple as buying a cup of coffee for a friend or stranger, inviting a widowed neighbor to dinner, offering a genuine hug to someone who is suffering, taking in the neighbor’s trash can on a windy day, writing a thank-you note to a friend or co-worker who picked up the lunch tab, whispering encouragement to a young adult struggling to find himself or herself, or apologizing to someone for being impatient, rude, or angry during a time when portraying a calm presence would have been a better choice.

In paying it forward, we are not only reminding others of the importance of kind gestures, but also ourselves. While it is easy to become caught up in the busyness of life, it is also just as easy to slow down, take a look around, and realize that someone needs you right now. That someone may be a stranger, a client, your company’s CEO, or someone you love more than anything.

To transform your thinking toward paying it forward as often as possible, remember the three words you learned when crossing the street for the first time: Stop. Look. Listen. Someone needs hope. Someone needs encouragement. Someone needs love. Someone needs to know that in the midst of navigating this often-challenging life, there is light.

In the act of gifting someone with a tiny moment of joy in this imperfect existence we call life, you give yourself the greatest gift of all: the knowledge that we are all in this together.

Make a difference.

“A purposeful act or extension of kindness to another is never wasted, for it always resides in the hearts of all involved in a chain of love.”

―Molly Friedenfeld

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Living His Passion - Brad Dickson

Brad Dickson, Comedy Writer

Brad Dickson’s parents would have preferred that he do pretty much anything other than become a comedy writer. But instead, twenty-two-year-old Brad shunned his original dream of heading to law school, packed his common sense and knowledge gained from earning a degree in history from the University of Nebraska at Lincoln, and headed for Los Angeles to pursue his dream of performing stand-up.

A year later after performing his original material in Hollywood at the Comedy Store, Brad gave new meaning to the phrase “starving writer” and returned home to Omaha. Not discouraged despite well-meaning Omahans who advised him not to pursue a career writing jokes, Brad worked in telemarketing and sent jokes to Joan Rivers, who to his shock and awe, decided to buy a few. Later, Brad wrote for Rodney Dangerfield and other comedians who paid him $10 to $50 dollars per joke. While Brad kept himself busy writing screenplays that garnered little interest, Jay Leno began hosting for Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show on Monday nights. After Brad sent a few jokes to Jay in care of NBC in Burbank, he called Brad to give him his fax number. “I was officially earning a living writing for the first time,” Brad says. “I think I was 29.” A couple of weeks after the Leno call, Brad received a call from an agent who eventually sold his screenplay, “Honeymoon” to Universal Studios. “I am reasonably certain I was the only guy living in Maple Village with a movie deal,” jokes Brad. After seven years of struggle, Brad’s career turned around over the course of a few weeks.

As his life’s journey led him back to Los Angeles for seventeen years, Brad became one of about a dozen writers at The Tonight Show who scanned the news and then cranked out 100+ jokes a day until the show’s taping at 5:00 p.m. Back then, the show garnered approximately six million viewers each night.

Because of his role at The Tonight Show, Brad was lucky enough to see and/or meet nearly every celebrity that appeared on the show, including his favorite comedian, Steve Martin. Brad, who feels very lucky he was able to land a gig in late-night television, compares joke-writing to the Haiku-poetry writing process. “Both are equally challenging,” he jests. Later, Brad would land a columnist gig with the Omaha World-Herald, whose editors found him based on several columns he wrote for The Los Angeles Times. While at the World-Herald, Brad states the most famous person he ever saw was Tom Shatel, who he says is no Robert De Niro. His column at the newspaper involved writing topical material about the news of the day, but from a local perspective. His favorite columns to write were his humorous Q&As with political candidates. Somewhere in between all the jokes and columns, Brad co-write two books with Martha Bolton titled, Maybe Life’s Just Not That Into You (a parody of self-help books) and Race You to the Fountain of Youth (a parody of all the crazy things people do to stay young).

Today Brad is actively blogging at braddicksononline.com where he writes about both humorous and serious topics. The Huskers, their fans, and coach are some of his favorite subjects (he’d love to interview Scott Frost, who is rumored to have a great sense of humor). He has also blogged about playing one last round of golf with his father when he knew he was dying, and a scathing column about Omaha’s snow removal plan, which seems to basically amount to waiting for spring. Brad is also dabbling with writing theatrical plays and is mulling the idea of writing another book. His girlfriend, Michele, reads and enjoys everything he writes—or so she says.

Brad’s favorite part of writing humor is churning out funny-yet-critical material about sanctimonious political figures. Now that he’s no longer working in an office, Brad says he’s looking forward to finally getting the neck tattoo he’s always wanted. He states that today, people are nicer to him than when he lived in his parents’ basement and hitchhiked around Omaha during the pre-serial killer age. “Having a creative outlet has given me a measure of contentment,” he adds. The biggest lesson he has learned in pursuing his passion is persistence pays off.

He advises those desiring to pursue their passion in life to not listen to the so-called experts when they reject you. “There are many, many people in positions of power—supervisors, producers, coaches, and bosses—who don’t know what they are doing. Make sure you’re pursuing something you’re very good at and then ignore the naysayers,” Brad says.

To read Brad’s popular blog (or, if you’re Scott Frost, to inquire about an interview), visit braddicksononline.com.

“I did it again today—I honked at a Student Driver car for absolutely no reason.

My new hobby is really warped.”

—Brad Dickson

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.