Where Does Happiness Come From?

In Tanzania, the power often goes out during a rainstorm. On a recent occasion, a group of small children applauded instead of complaining about the darkness. When an adult asked them why they were so happy to be in the dark, they replied, “Now we can sit around a candle and talk about our days.” Later, the children decided to also seize the moment to dance and sing. 

Even at such a young age, these children have already grasped that happiness comes from recognizing each moment—even the inconvenient or challenging ones—as an opportunity to find joy and learn. 

Happiness comes from the moments when we are able to find joy in the little gifts that life places in front of us. It is about changing our perspective. It is about practicing gratitude for the teachable experiences that provide a valuable lesson for us to take forward in a positive way. 

Instead of lamenting about how difficult life can be at times, we choose to identify the blessings and then readjust our mindset by asking ourselves, “What do I need to do differently in this moment to feel gratitude instead of resentment?” 

Life is challenging, unpredictable, and full of change. Happiness can sometimes be elusive. Even so, it is important to remember that we have more control over how we react and feel about our experiences than we think. 

Change your perspective and invite happiness in to celebrate every teachable moment with you. 

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com. 

How to Persevere through Change and Obstacles

While participating in a school track meet, a ten-year-old boy accidentally ran right out of one of his sneakers. In a split second, he made a choice that would dictate how he would navigate through his life from that point forward. Instead of stopping to pick it up or put it back on, he quickly adjusted his mindset, left the shoe behind, kept running, and beat all his competitors to win the race. A few years later, that same boy went on to secure two gold medals in the Olympics.

“Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races, one after the other.”

–Walter Elliott

Perseverance is critical to achieving our goals, navigating through change, and enduring unforeseen challenges. Even though we all understand the importance of perseverance to help us stay focused while on a journey through change or to find contentment or success in life, our inner-critic often attempts to override our best intentions to keep at it by telling us, “You can’t do this,” or “You’re not good enough,” or “You will probably fail.” As a result, this fixed mindset ultimately holds us back from achieving our dreams, learning, and experiencing life in its fullest form. Although this fixed mindset can feel comfortable and safe, it most likely leaves us feeling stagnant, miserable, and hopeless. The good news is that a fixed mindset is a habit that can be changed.

“Perseverance is a choice. It’s not a simple, one-time choice; it’s a daily one …”

–Margaret J. Wheatley

In order to persevere through challenging times or even routine everyday experiences, it is possible to make decisions, even in seconds, that push us to continue on, if for no other reason than to see what’s around the next corner. By changing our internal dialogue from “You can’t do this,” to “You can try and see where this leads you,” we are making a conscious decision to alter our perspective to a growth mindset, a belief that encourages us to change the course of our lives through action.

“It always seems impossible until it’s done,”

–Nelson Mandela

The next time you are facing a seemingly insurmountable obstacle or a change that terrifies you, think about the story of the ten-year-old boy who made a split-second choice to persevere, readjust his mindset, and finish the race strong. 

By setting small action steps every day that move you forward, quiet your inner-critic, guide you around obstacles, and help you press through change, you too can persevere to achieve great things.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoac

Living Her Passion - Laura Sykora

Photo by Becky Kelly

It was 2009 when Laura Sykora first realized she was missing something in her life. Her mother-in-law was in the midst of completing her second year of chemotherapy for lymphoma and her father-in-law had just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. “My personal life was filled with many moving parts that were both life-changing and stressful,” Laura elaborates. “Although I had a wonderful job, I was still unfortunately left at the end of each day feeling unfulfilled and questioning my life’s purpose.” To top it off, Laura had just undergone a long year of unsuccessful attempts at becoming pregnant. This chain of events led to a wake-up call that changed Laura’s life forever.

Shortly after her father-in-law passed away, Laura and her husband, Ed, had several in-depth conversations about adoption as a means to grow their family. As she simultaneously realized that her passion in life was to serve others for a greater good, Laura became drawn to the process of international adoption. “After talking with friends who had adopted, visiting an adoption agency, and meeting with other adoptive families, Laura says that she and Ed quickly realized that their hearts were being led in a new and exciting direction.

After completing the long process that accompanies international adoption, Laura and Ed brought their son home from Ethiopia in August 2010. After resigning from her job of nearly ten years to stay home with her son, Laura had no idea that the next chapter of her life was waiting in the wings. A few months after the adoption was finalized, Laura walked through an open door to accept a job at the very agency that handled their adoption: Holt International. While her title and duties have changed over the past six years, Laura continues to embrace every day with gratitude for the opportunity to witness so many families joined through the joy of adoption. In 2013, Laura and Ed were blessed through adoption once again when they brought home a daughter from Ethiopia.

Laura considers herself fortunate to have a wonderful support system filled with friends who listen and loyally walk beside her through life, celebrating the joys and supporting her through the sorrows. Last year, her mother-in-law passed away. “During the last month of her life, we had many meaningful conversations,” Laura adds. “Her advice to me was simple and wise. She told me that I would never reach the end of my days and wish they had been filled with more time at work. Her best advice was for me to stay focused on me and the needs of my family.”

Today, Laura loves the life she has created for herself and her family. She works on occasion, counseling families interested in international adoption, and volunteers at her children’s school. Laura says that by pursuing her passion, she has gained a daily sense of freedom and gratefulness. In carrying on the tradition in memory of her mother-in-law, Laura offers one piece of great advice for anyone wishing to pursue their own passion in life. “Don’t make excuses. Life is filled with new chapters and change can be both healthy and exciting. Enjoy the journey!”

To learn more about international adoption, visit https://www.holtinternational.org/.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Three Ways to Expand Your Comfort Zone Today

Stagnancy in life can be stifling. When it seems like we are simply treading water and going nowhere, the resulting apathy has the power to rob us of energy and, worse yet, hope. Truth be known, we all feel safer when we are functioning within a comfort zone where we can easily predict our days and even what might happen next.

Photo by Vicky DeCoster

Sometimes the possibility of change can seem overwhelming and even frightening. So, how does one find a way to overcome long-held fears, break down the walls that surround a comfort zone, and begin believing that you can achieve your dreams? Here are three ways you can begin expanding your own comfort zone today:

1. Do one thing you pledged to never do in your lifetime. Whether it is singing karaoke in front of a crowd of strangers or holding a snake, prove to yourself that you can conquer your nervousness and actually do something you never thought was possible. When tackling real change, this exercise will help you to remember all the times when you overcame self-imposed hurdles and lived to tell about it.

2. Plan an adventure. Have you ever wanted to backpack in the mountains? Run a marathon? Take a class in rock climbing? Learn to deep sea fish? Expanding your comfort zone to include new adventures will not only test your character, tenacity, and drive to work past obstacles, but will also prove that you are capable of resolving daily challenges in innovative and creative ways.

3. Try something new. Whether your new thing is sampling a plateful of frog legs or ice skating at Rockefeller Center, seek to experience all that life has to offer. Even if you end up pledging in front of the waiter to never eat frog legs again or swearing you'll never lace up a pair of ice skates in your lifetime, these experiences still have the power to transform your mindset to believe that you can walk through fear to test change—even if it turns out that it is not right for you.

When we take one small step at a time to expand our comfort zones—and survive—it is conceivable to teach ourselves that life is an adventure meant to be embraced, loved, and, most importantly, lived to the fullest.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.