Three Ways to Conquer Self-Doubt

Our bodies and minds are programmed to protect us from danger. While this is an important human characteristic when hiking in bear country or escaping from a burning building, this caveperson mindset can also hold us back from taking normal, calculated risks in life.

Part of creating a viable game plan as you move forward through life is first determining where you want to be in the immediate future, say three or six months from now. That’s the fun part. But often what occurs after the plan is created is that paralyzing thoughts, patterns, and obstacles (sometimes imagined; sometimes real) cause indecision which leads you to become stuck, exhausted, and frustrated while treading water in a big lonely ocean and watching everyone else swim to a beautiful island where their dreams await.

Guess what? The people who are swimming not treading water aren’t any wiser than you, more courageous, or creative. They have already realized the secret to energetically moving forward toward a goal: a willingness to make mistakes and learn, to walk through their fears, and then take action steps every day that gets them to where they want to go.

So what can you begin doing today to conquer your self-doubt and stop treading water? Grab a journal or notebook and begin documenting your thoughts related to the following:

1. Identify and break down your habit (yes, habit) of hesitation. How do you feel and act when you are in hesitation mode and treading water (Frantic? Overwhelmed? Angry?)? What are you overthinking and why? Why is it important for you to be perfect and never make mistakes or fail?

2. Pinpoint your fears. Why are you procrastinating? What are your behaviors / emotions when you procrastinate? What is your biggest fear? Does this fear really matter in the end? If so, how can you tackle this fear?

3. Identify what is holding you back. Why do you feel helpless? Why are you making one excuse after the other, perhaps even playing the victim sometimes? In what ways can you take back control of your life and goals, listen to your gut, and not depend on others to tell you what to do?

Now, write down three action steps you can take, starting tomorrow, that propel you forward into better days. This useful practice isn’t just a one-time exercise. Taking small steps every day toward a bigger goal leads to perseverance through obstacles, confident behavior, and ultimately, success.

Go after it.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.

Three Ways to Expand Your Comfort Zone Today

Stagnancy in life can be stifling. When it seems like we are simply treading water and going nowhere, the resulting apathy has the power to rob us of energy and, worse yet, hope. Truth be known, we all feel safer when we are functioning within a comfort zone where we can easily predict our days and even what might happen next.

Photo by Vicky DeCoster

Sometimes the possibility of change can seem overwhelming and even frightening. So, how does one find a way to overcome long-held fears, break down the walls that surround a comfort zone, and begin believing that you can achieve your dreams? Here are three ways you can begin expanding your own comfort zone today:

1. Do one thing you pledged to never do in your lifetime. Whether it is singing karaoke in front of a crowd of strangers or holding a snake, prove to yourself that you can conquer your nervousness and actually do something you never thought was possible. When tackling real change, this exercise will help you to remember all the times when you overcame self-imposed hurdles and lived to tell about it.

2. Plan an adventure. Have you ever wanted to backpack in the mountains? Run a marathon? Take a class in rock climbing? Learn to deep sea fish? Expanding your comfort zone to include new adventures will not only test your character, tenacity, and drive to work past obstacles, but will also prove that you are capable of resolving daily challenges in innovative and creative ways.

3. Try something new. Whether your new thing is sampling a plateful of frog legs or ice skating at Rockefeller Center, seek to experience all that life has to offer. Even if you end up pledging in front of the waiter to never eat frog legs again or swearing you'll never lace up a pair of ice skates in your lifetime, these experiences still have the power to transform your mindset to believe that you can walk through fear to test change—even if it turns out that it is not right for you.

When we take one small step at a time to expand our comfort zones—and survive—it is conceivable to teach ourselves that life is an adventure meant to be embraced, loved, and, most importantly, lived to the fullest.

Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach who specializes in helping her clients move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.