Our bodies and minds are programmed to protect us from danger. While this is an important human characteristic when hiking in bear country or escaping from a burning building, this caveperson mindset can also hold us back from taking normal, calculated risks in life.
Part of creating a viable game plan as you move forward through life is first determining where you want to be in the immediate future, say three or six months from now. That’s the fun part. But often what occurs after the plan is created is that paralyzing thoughts, patterns, and obstacles (sometimes imagined; sometimes real) cause indecision which leads you to become stuck, exhausted, and frustrated while treading water in a big lonely ocean and watching everyone else swim to a beautiful island where their dreams await.
Guess what? The people who are swimming not treading water aren’t any wiser than you, more courageous, or creative. They have already realized the secret to energetically moving forward toward a goal: a willingness to make mistakes and learn, to walk through their fears, and then take action steps every day that gets them to where they want to go.
So what can you begin doing today to conquer your self-doubt and stop treading water? Grab a journal or notebook and begin documenting your thoughts related to the following:
Identify and break down your habit (yes, habit) of hesitation. How do you feel and act when you are in hesitation mode and treading water (Frantic? Overwhelmed? Angry?)? What are you overthinking and why? Why is it important for you to be perfect and never make mistakes or fail?
Pinpoint your fears. Why are you procrastinating? What are your behaviors / emotions when you procrastinate? What is your biggest fear? Does this fear really matter in the end? If so, how can you tackle this fear?
Identify what is holding you back. Why do you feel helpless? Why are you making one excuse after the other, perhaps even playing the victim sometimes? In what ways can you take back control of your life and goals, listen to your gut, and not depend on others to tell you what to do?
Now, write down three action steps you can take, starting tomorrow, that propel you forward into better days. This useful practice isn’t just a one-time exercise. Taking small steps every day toward a bigger goal leads to perseverance through obstacles, confident behavior, and ultimately, success.
Go after it.
Vicky DeCoster is a Certified Life Coach based in Omaha, Nebraska, who specializes in helping her clients both locally and nationwide to move past obstacles, create a plan for happiness, and cross the bridge of transition to find a new and fulfilling direction in life. To read more about her and her practice, visit her at crossthebridgecoaching.com.
